tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34753835.post4600971540013504950..comments2023-10-02T06:36:54.879-04:00Comments on The Hardest Quest: Where to Turn When No One Will Help?Gilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11726325164456309750noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34753835.post-67886566070571863402011-11-12T21:40:06.191-05:002011-11-12T21:40:06.191-05:00I read this awhile back & thought I left a com...I read this awhile back & thought I left a comment -- guess not. Just wanted to say how sorry I am that you have to deal with this. It's heartbreaking to see someone so young throwing their life away like this, & I pray that she'll get the help she needs & find her way back. But you're right, Petite has to be your first concern. (((hugs)))loribethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34753835.post-16976995258019846292011-11-03T21:40:07.933-04:002011-11-03T21:40:07.933-04:00I'm really sorry you're dealing with this....I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. I wish I had something insightful and helpful to offer... You and your family are in my thoughts. <br /><br />Don't know if you still have time for coffee, but once my MIL gets here, I'll drop you a line.Sandra & Edwardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00223439279947769016noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34753835.post-62381706130699968312011-10-30T00:15:16.847-04:002011-10-30T00:15:16.847-04:00I am so sorry you are going through this. Yes..rig...I am so sorry you are going through this. Yes..right decision...the only decision. Do you have alanon there...it is really helpful for partners and parents dealing with family members feeling helpless with drug addicts in their family. I am going through the heartache with my brother. I hope you and your husband find an alanon group..it can really help you and it is a great communiyt..there is a bood too. Still..with your decision..I am sure you are emotionally drained..and just really pissed off. She is stuck in a disease full of selfishness. It is so horrible..and I am sorry you are going through this. i am here for you..and I really appreciate you bringing up such a hard subject that so many of us deal with..but do not talk about.marilynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08744558677574158093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34753835.post-57452974671990489172011-10-26T17:00:43.684-04:002011-10-26T17:00:43.684-04:00PS..you can access DBT in your area...either throu...PS..you can access DBT in your area...either through your local Children's Mental Health Agency (Roberts/Smart or CHEO OR YSB, I think) OR through employee benefits...as I said, message me, I might be able to help...<br />peace<br />shlomitshlomithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15294019419791233755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34753835.post-20049954216619165492011-10-26T16:59:27.728-04:002011-10-26T16:59:27.728-04:00Ugh. Tough, tough stuff. If she wants help, plea...Ugh. Tough, tough stuff. If she wants help, please get her to call the Child Advocates Office (1-800-263-2841). They will take her case and advocate for her to get treatment. You guys can help her with the call but nothing can be done (from an Advocacy perspective) without her consent.<br /><br />Private message me for more info!!!<br /><br />Glad I popped in after a long absence! Thinking of you guys....<br />peace<br />shlomitshlomithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15294019419791233755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34753835.post-79559835121127668002011-10-24T16:11:00.770-04:002011-10-24T16:11:00.770-04:00Gil, as you know, we have been through similar; wo...Gil, as you know, we have been through similar; worse in some ways, not so bad in others, scary all the same. I pride myself on having a semblance of control in my own world; that is both the Trini and the Taurean in me. When my daughter started acting up, I honestly started losing it because there was no control and things were simply sliding out of my grasp. When she decided to steal our vehicle for the second time, and left her little video, that was it for us. We loved her but we could not have her with us any longer because the possibilities of what could happen kept escalating to the point that even I was starting to get scared.<br /><br />So, you did the right thing. In this instance, you cannot sacrifice the good of the many for the good one of the one because one of the many is too young to have a say and MUST be protected. I can tell you that, thankfully, my niece was right and my daughter grew out of it, grew up and got some clues. We are slowly rebuilding our relationship but a part of me will always be sad that something will forever be changed, different, lost. Keep the faith that with time, the same will happen for you.<br /><br />As for getting the right help, go see your local MP and B&M to the high heavens, respectfully demanding some real action. I hate the system but it does work and the squeaky, loud-ass wheel gets the most grease first. Get squeaking!!!<br /><br />Our love and thoughts are with you always. Till next we are in the valley. Love you all.Dtrinihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14239794728830110652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34753835.post-80814588816218874722011-10-24T16:08:59.323-04:002011-10-24T16:08:59.323-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Dtrinihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14239794728830110652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34753835.post-52665845757933938822011-10-22T16:34:15.341-04:002011-10-22T16:34:15.341-04:00Wow Gil - that is some really heavy stuff you are ...Wow Gil - that is some really heavy stuff you are dealing with. I don't know the backstory, but had to chime in. My husband and I recently took custody of my 17 year old cousin (HBear) who had essentially been kicked out by her mom. There are so many issues to deal with and it has been a very interesting couple of months. DH and i are trying to figure out how to parent a defiant teenager who doesn't want to be here with us, while preparing for the arrival of our long awaited little one. <br /><br />I am quickly learning how to navigate the mental health system here in my county, and am (at this point) impressed with the resources that are available. The catch is that HBear has to want to engage - and that is not something that we can force her to do. We've laid out very reasonable expectations for her, with the threat of sending her to boot camp in January if she doesn't comply. <br /><br />The scary part is realizing that we have no control over the choices that she makes. She could run away, or defy us at any time and we have very little to hold over her head. All we can do is try to offer her love and guidance to make the best choices - the rest is up to her.<br /><br />The sad part is that her life has been so complicated for so long. She doesn't have any of the basic life skills that I had at her age, nor the exposure to things that make life pleasurable and worth living. We are doing our best to make up for lost time, but if just makes me so sad that it has to be like this for too many kids.<br /><br />I wish I had advice, but we are just stumbling along a best as we can. I do think that you are right to hold your ground on the expectations that she needs to follow in order to live in your home. Wishing you lots of luck as you figure out what is best for you, your family, and LaGrande.foxyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05482866425915180237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34753835.post-63662695705919329512011-10-21T02:41:45.274-04:002011-10-21T02:41:45.274-04:00Gil
this is so tough - i can't even imagine. ...Gil<br /><br />this is so tough - i can't even imagine. i am so sorry. as a psychologist - and a blog friend - I wanted to pipe in with a direction to take that could help tremendously. only problem is, i'm not sure if it's available in your area. there is a type of therapy that is very successful with situations like this and has v3ery strong research evidence demonstrating its efficacy for self-mutilation and other acting out. it is called dialectical behavioral therapy (or DBT). it is outpatient therapy - usually twice a week (one group and one individual session). can help lagrande learn other ways to deal with her overwhelming emotions without acting out - or acting in - as the case may be. I have my fingers crossed that you can find a program or provider that can offer it - i have seen it turn the lives of young people around.<br /><br />my thoughts are with you. let me know if there is anything i can do to help.<br /><br />moMohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01671855540466269330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34753835.post-78357959640775142182011-10-20T16:07:43.219-04:002011-10-20T16:07:43.219-04:00I have no advice. I'm so sorry you are going ...I have no advice. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I will be praying for all of you. <br /><br />I'm so mad, mad that no one wants to help. Even if they think "she doesn't mean it", why why why would they risk sending her away??? I can't wrap my mind around that.BigP's Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07124157582246972372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34753835.post-52010800356681703322011-10-20T16:04:33.296-04:002011-10-20T16:04:33.296-04:00Gillian, my heart aches for you and Denis. None o...Gillian, my heart aches for you and Denis. None of you including LaGrande deserve to be going through this.<br /><br />My daughter had noticed the scars when she was there a few weeks ago and just recently told us about them. I was waiting for an opportunity to talk to you and Denis about it in case you weren't aware although I figured you were.<br /><br />I so wish I had solutions for you. Pulling at straws... you could have a look at this list of resources in case you see something you haven't tried. http://www.doitfordaron.com/mental-health-resources/<br /><br />If there's anything we can do just ask. If you ever have an emergency and need someone to watch Petite, even in the middle of the night, give us a call or just knock on our door.Marchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09529502836682147908noreply@blogger.com