This one is just depressive. Click away while you can. Really. I mean it.
I just needed to get some of this off my chest. And my blog is one of the best places to do that. So if you choose to keep reading, know that you were forwarned. So "nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah" to you.
I'm not in the greatest of places to start off 2012. I keep saying it'll get better. I really don't know though. Honestly. I'm just sort of going through the motions in the hopes that by doing so, I'll will things to be better. Does that ever work? Personal anecdotes most welcome.
This is a thought-vomit post. Hold onto your hats:
I learned two weeks ago, right before Christmas, that our original clinic in Montreal has lowered their IVF treatment cutoff age to 43. FORTY-freakin-THREE.
Crap.
I think I'm about to miss my window of opportunity, because I turn 42 in May. Which brings me to my next statement of disbelief: When the hell did I get to be 42?? Where have the last 20 years gone? Sweet mother of baby Jesus. And here I am, terrified of tossing out anything of Petite's 'in case' we might need it. Looks like the decision is about to be taken out of my hands entirely. That saddens me. It was never what I wanted. I'm surrounded by clothing, toys, paraphenalia that I hoped to be able to use again. I don't want to part with it just yet.
Petite has been toilet trained since the week after her second birthday at the end of August. However, last week, for one day only, she deliberately peed anywhere else BUT the toilet. In fact, she screeched when we tried to get her to go to the toilet. We coaxed her and returned to our original rewards program of stickers and Smarties and that seemed to do the trick. We'll continue that for a bit. She really tested us though. In fact, she deliberately peed on one of the new dolls she'd received for Christmas. Took me two days to wash that thing properly and get the smell of urine out of it. I'm not sure why she took to doing this. Some of it I attribute to the insanity and upheaval of Christmas and lack of routine. With luck, it was just a one-day event and won't repeat itself. Keeping my fingers crossed on this one.
I've spent the better part of 2011 angry at Hubby, and by extension, some members of his family. I'm trying to stop being angry, but I'm not sure how to do that. I don't have the tools in my repertoire to attain that goal. I simply cannot stop being angry; the events that brought me to this point and have raised this anger in me have deeply affected me, our family and our life. Added to that, the resulting effects are ongoing. That makes me angry too. I'm seeing someone to try to work that out, but it isn't helping at all. It's been a few months now. I'm not getting anywhere. I need something more. Or someone else to guide me. I cannot spend 2012 like this. If I do, well... let's just say that more upheaval will be in the coming months. Upheaval that I am trying to avert and overcome.
My Christmas decorations still deck the halls in my home. I am a traditionalist; they will remain up until at least January 6. I hope to make a dent in taking them down on the 7th. No guarantees though. Hubby is working that weekend so I'm not sure how much I'll get done by myself. I know that my sister had taken hers all down and it was all stored away again on Boxing Day (December 26). What a shame. It takes so long to prepare for the holiday, and just seeing the tree and the lights gives me a sense of peace (albeit temporarily so). I can't fathom being rid of it already. I will cherish it for another week or so.
I am inexplicably tired. Not tired, as in needing sleep. But tired as in worn down. Dejected. Wondering if it's all worth it. Some days, I really don't know. Many days, it's Petite that keeps me going. Her kisses. Her hugs. Her sweet snuggles at night before bed. Those things are gold to me.
I was out to pick up some meats and cheeses for our New Year's raclette meal, and what do I see, but Valentine's chocolates on the shelves? That's insane. Really people? Is there a need to jump from one commercialized holiday to another quite that quickly? Good Lord. Let us breathe for a week, willya?! Man oh man... Friggin' ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.
I have not made any New Year's Resolutions, nor will I bother to do so. Honestly, after the sh*tstorm that we endured in 2011, I'll be damn lucky just to get through 2012 in one piece. So if I'm vertical at the end of the year, that's the best I can ask for at this rate. Suffice it to say, I ended this year sadder, thinner and poorer than I entered it. I like the thinner part. The 'sadder' and 'poorer' I could certainly have done without.
We did have champagne at midnight on New Year's Eve though. In fact, it was a little bottle of Moet et Chandon that was purchased to celebrate the birth of Petite, more than two years ago. It's been in my fridge ever since, unopened. In the hospital, I was shoved from pillar to post after Petite's birth, moving rooms alone, etc., and Hubby was back and forth to the hospital and the house, with my family being there for the baby's arrival. So it got overlooked. And while I knew it was there, we just never had time nor the right occasion. With the ushering out of the miserably crappy year that 2011 was, I thought it best to pop the cork on that sucker and enjoy it, and PRAY to God that 2012 is better.
Vee has inspired me. I'd like to partake in Project 365 (well, this year it's 366; it's a leap year). I'm going to try to take one picture every day for a year. My main issue becomes publishing them. Here? To Facebook? Who can say I'll have time to do that every day this year? Who can say I'll have access to a computer or method of uploading every day? If you miss a day publishing, but you still took a photo, can you upload a few photos together? Is that in the rules somewhere? (And who makes said 'rules' anyway?!) I have two pictures already. And a bunch of ideas for the coming days and weeks.
I'm dealing with an issue at the office that is royally pissing me off. I'm not sure that I can do a damn thing about it. It's making me take a hard look at the workplace I'm in.
I wish I could be a stay-at-home-mom. I wish I had won the $50 million that was won last Friday by a local couple. I wish that my situation was different.
And even as I wish it so, I know full well that the only one who has the power to CHANGE my situation is...
... ultimately...
... me.
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
Friday, January 28, 2011
IVF #2 on deck! Ten Hut!
Montréal. *sighs* Oh Montréal, I do not enjoy you. Not at all.
Especially not when there's a mountain of construction on Sherbrooke and we're stuck taking a detour and stupid taxi drivers are cutting you off, and pedestrians believe they can cross the road willy-nilly, and the cars are double parked (often in a no-parking zone!) and you have to 'slalom-weave' around vehicles to get anywhere, and... and... and...
I could go on. But you get the point.
Neverthless, we had an appointment in Montréal yesterday. We took Petite with us, because as I mentioned, I didn't want to take advantage of her daycare provider and have us delayed for our arrival, if perchance our appointment finished late.
The construction mess meant that we showed up about 20 minutes late for our 1:45 appointment, but we were quickly registered at the desk to see Dr. Tan. We had to pay the consultation fee up front. What was $60 last month was $100 this month; nice huh? The explanation for that jump is because of the whole "Quebec now funds IVF so our prices have changed." Lovely. I made a mental note to ask Dr. Tan about the other costs associated with the IVF; what else has changed?!
Anyway, in the waiting room, Petite wasn't the only child there; a few other infants and young children were there as well and Petite obligingly walked up and down the hallways waving 'hello' to one and all. ** She's such a social butterfly.
Anyway, we were soon ushered in to see Dr. Tan and he went over our file, tests, etc. As he indicated, all is normal. And there's no reason why we can't get started. He did ask why I wanted a general anaesthetic (GA) though and I replied that for safety's sake, because sedation uses an IV, and IVs are a bit of a sticking point with me, that it's better for all concerned if we use GA in my case.
And apparently that poses a problem.
You see, now that Quebec funds IVF for residents, that funding doesn't provide for GA, only for sedation when you have the retrieval. If GA were to be used, the fees would only amount to $80 and no anaesthesiologist is willing to work for that, so there are no anaesthesiologists available at McGill anymore. However, there is a solution.
Montréal Reproductive Centre.
Yup. You read that right. Montréal Reproductive Centre.
Brand, spankin' new.
Back in November 2010, Dr. Tan started up a new fertility centre in Montréal. Given that he's started a few centres in Canada, and there is a current need in Montréal to fill the gap that Quebec's funding doesn't cover (e.g., out of town patients, like us), he procured space, hired staff and has started Montréal Reproductive Centre, located on Decarie Boulevard, near Autoroute Decarie. Much closer for us in fact, as we don't have to wind our way through downtown Montréal! WOOT! For those curious, the clinic's website is http://www.mtrlrc.com but many pages are still blank; information is forthcoming.
Dr. Tan immediately referred us over there. But not before I asked some pertinent questions:
Keep in mind that I was on CD 23 of my cycle.
Well, they had a helluva time finding the left ovary; it's always hiding and lots of folks have trouble with it.
The right was easier to locate, and so were the NINE follicles visible.
And so was the cyst... *sigh*
And *screams* bloody hell, my endometrium is only 4.0 on CD23? What gives?! Very weird. I attribute that to the whole "bleeding like a stuck pig, needing Provera to thin the lining" incident back in the fall of last year. Obviously, the Provera did its job and thinned the lining but wow, time for it to recover methinks! Yikes!
Anyway, the scan was done, reports printed for the file, and I got dressed again.
Dr. Mumcu believes, as does Dr. Tan, that they can once again aspirate the cyst prior to the retrieval. Which, by the way is tentatively scheduled for early in the week of March 13 and transfer on or before March 18.
Did you see that my dear readers?
RETRIEVAL and TRANSFER scheduled.
I am terrified.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have an IVF calendar in my hand. As long as I start my next cycle before February 12, I am to start taking BCP in preparation for IVF #2.
And I am so scared that it's not going to work as well as IVF #1 did. It's paralysing. It really is.
In the meantime, I'm trying to figure out getting all these medications. The list is as follows:
For me
BCPs (Marvelon; suppression)
Buserelin (Suprefact)
Follitropin-alpha (Gonal F)
Lutropin-alpha (Luveris)
Choriogonadotropin -alpha (Ovidrel; trigger)
Estradiol (Estrace)
Progesterone (Endometrin)
Doxycycline (antibiotic)
Methylprednisolone (Medrol)
Pregvit folic acid
Betacarotene
Lycopene
Garlic
Fertil Pro
For Hubby
Doxycycline (antibiotic)
Betacarotene
Lycopene
Garlic
Fertil Pro
Oh yeah, and to throw even more fun into the mix:
March 18, the tentative transfer date, is also the date that our church choir has been asked to sing the anthem at an Ottawa 67s game to be nationally televised. Nice huh? I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
Hold on. I'm back on the rollercoaster. Dear Lord... am I insane?
**Note: I do realize how hard it is for us IFers when someone brings a child into a clinic. I wish I had another choice. However, I also recognize that most will understand she is the product of infertility and ART and hopefully, they can see past the fact that there is a child right in front of them. Until the clinics all offer separate waiting areas (for those IFers without children, and those who have children with them), there's not a lot I can do. I wish there was.
Especially not when there's a mountain of construction on Sherbrooke and we're stuck taking a detour and stupid taxi drivers are cutting you off, and pedestrians believe they can cross the road willy-nilly, and the cars are double parked (often in a no-parking zone!) and you have to 'slalom-weave' around vehicles to get anywhere, and... and... and...
I could go on. But you get the point.
Neverthless, we had an appointment in Montréal yesterday. We took Petite with us, because as I mentioned, I didn't want to take advantage of her daycare provider and have us delayed for our arrival, if perchance our appointment finished late.
The construction mess meant that we showed up about 20 minutes late for our 1:45 appointment, but we were quickly registered at the desk to see Dr. Tan. We had to pay the consultation fee up front. What was $60 last month was $100 this month; nice huh? The explanation for that jump is because of the whole "Quebec now funds IVF so our prices have changed." Lovely. I made a mental note to ask Dr. Tan about the other costs associated with the IVF; what else has changed?!
Anyway, in the waiting room, Petite wasn't the only child there; a few other infants and young children were there as well and Petite obligingly walked up and down the hallways waving 'hello' to one and all. ** She's such a social butterfly.
Anyway, we were soon ushered in to see Dr. Tan and he went over our file, tests, etc. As he indicated, all is normal. And there's no reason why we can't get started. He did ask why I wanted a general anaesthetic (GA) though and I replied that for safety's sake, because sedation uses an IV, and IVs are a bit of a sticking point with me, that it's better for all concerned if we use GA in my case.
And apparently that poses a problem.
You see, now that Quebec funds IVF for residents, that funding doesn't provide for GA, only for sedation when you have the retrieval. If GA were to be used, the fees would only amount to $80 and no anaesthesiologist is willing to work for that, so there are no anaesthesiologists available at McGill anymore. However, there is a solution.
Montréal Reproductive Centre.
Yup. You read that right. Montréal Reproductive Centre.
Brand, spankin' new.
Back in November 2010, Dr. Tan started up a new fertility centre in Montréal. Given that he's started a few centres in Canada, and there is a current need in Montréal to fill the gap that Quebec's funding doesn't cover (e.g., out of town patients, like us), he procured space, hired staff and has started Montréal Reproductive Centre, located on Decarie Boulevard, near Autoroute Decarie. Much closer for us in fact, as we don't have to wind our way through downtown Montréal! WOOT! For those curious, the clinic's website is http://www.mtrlrc.com but many pages are still blank; information is forthcoming.
Dr. Tan immediately referred us over there. But not before I asked some pertinent questions:
- Is the cost the same? Answer: Yes. All costs are the same as the costs at McGill and he went over the costs with us again.
- Who will do the work? Answer: The same doctors who work at McGill also liaise with Montréal Reproductive. We will still have Dr. Chan for Hubby's PESA (sperm aspiration); we will still have the same embryologist as is at McGill; and Dr. Tan can oversee the whole procedure more personally than at McGill.
- What protocols are used? Answer: The same as at McGill because Dr. Tan is still my doctor and will still use the same process and protocol for our cycle. This was crucial to me; I didn't want to try my hand at the Ottawa Fertility Centre only to find that they're more conservative (as is rumoured on ivf.ca) and to learn that they don't use the same drugs or type of protocol, that obviously worked so well for us the first time around.
- What about our files? Answer: We have to sign a release form so that Montréal Reproductive staff can access our files. The electronic files are shared via the same filing system. Hard copy files, notes and tests will be copied and within three weeks, will be available to the staff at the new office.
- Bonus... parking! There's no cost for parking at the new clinic, while McGill has a nightmare of a parking lot and it costs $18 if you are there for anything more than 90 mins. As of course, we always are. There's lots of on-street parking at Montréal Reproductive and it's very close to the highway on which we come into the city.
Keep in mind that I was on CD 23 of my cycle.
Well, they had a helluva time finding the left ovary; it's always hiding and lots of folks have trouble with it.
The right was easier to locate, and so were the NINE follicles visible.
And so was the cyst... *sigh*
And *screams* bloody hell, my endometrium is only 4.0 on CD23? What gives?! Very weird. I attribute that to the whole "bleeding like a stuck pig, needing Provera to thin the lining" incident back in the fall of last year. Obviously, the Provera did its job and thinned the lining but wow, time for it to recover methinks! Yikes!
Anyway, the scan was done, reports printed for the file, and I got dressed again.
Dr. Mumcu believes, as does Dr. Tan, that they can once again aspirate the cyst prior to the retrieval. Which, by the way is tentatively scheduled for early in the week of March 13 and transfer on or before March 18.
Did you see that my dear readers?
RETRIEVAL and TRANSFER scheduled.
I am terrified.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have an IVF calendar in my hand. As long as I start my next cycle before February 12, I am to start taking BCP in preparation for IVF #2.
And I am so scared that it's not going to work as well as IVF #1 did. It's paralysing. It really is.
In the meantime, I'm trying to figure out getting all these medications. The list is as follows:
For me
BCPs (Marvelon; suppression)
Buserelin (Suprefact)
Follitropin-alpha (Gonal F)
Lutropin-alpha (Luveris)
Choriogonadotropin -alpha (Ovidrel; trigger)
Estradiol (Estrace)
Progesterone (Endometrin)
Doxycycline (antibiotic)
Methylprednisolone (Medrol)
Pregvit folic acid
Betacarotene
Lycopene
Garlic
Fertil Pro
For Hubby
Doxycycline (antibiotic)
Betacarotene
Lycopene
Garlic
Fertil Pro
Oh yeah, and to throw even more fun into the mix:
March 18, the tentative transfer date, is also the date that our church choir has been asked to sing the anthem at an Ottawa 67s game to be nationally televised. Nice huh? I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
Hold on. I'm back on the rollercoaster. Dear Lord... am I insane?
**Note: I do realize how hard it is for us IFers when someone brings a child into a clinic. I wish I had another choice. However, I also recognize that most will understand she is the product of infertility and ART and hopefully, they can see past the fact that there is a child right in front of them. Until the clinics all offer separate waiting areas (for those IFers without children, and those who have children with them), there's not a lot I can do. I wish there was.
Monday, November 08, 2010
News in the ALI Blogging World + RL Craziness
To say there's a LOT going on in the ALI blogging world would be making light of it, I think. Let's start at the beginning shall we?
Keiko (Hannah Wept and Sarah Laughed) and Melissa (Stirrup Queens) attended the RESOLVE of New England Annual Conference a few days ago. Mel was a keynote speaker and Keiko did a lot of volunteering and blogging on the fly. Kudos to them both for their continued involvement and bringing us the updates! Well done ladies! *cheers*
I'm keeping a very close eye on Kate (I Can't Whistle) who, at this moment, is hopefully in L&D and about to bring her little miracle into her world. It's so exciting to read a blogger's thoughts and hopes during her pregnancy and to wait and pray while eagerly expecting wonderful news announced on her blog. I remember my own moments of blogging while at the hospital delivering Petite and I must say, it's an experience that deeply touched me. Join me as we wait with Kate for her good news.
Halloween Babies!! YAY! In recent days, we've seen the birth of Tiger to Grizzly Eggs on October 31. Baby Interrupted finally had a baby interrupt! She welcomed her daughter on Saturday, October 30. Dawn (A New Dawn) has welcomed the early arrival of Ms. M; I'm so very happy for her as she brings home her second child!
I've learned of two bloggers that are thrilled to be p/g with number two. Ms. C (It Could Take 3 Months) and Serenity (Serenity Now) are cautious as they are in the early days, but so far, all seems to be going so well for them both! I'm thrilled for them! It would be great to be able to see Ms. C while we're in Montreal for our own consult in December. I'm sure she's got a lot going on though!
I'm holding out a lot of hope for Mo and Will (Life and Love in the Petri Dish). They've seen enough heartache to last them forever and right now, they're cautious and tentative as betas are rising and things look good. Mo's had some spotting, so of course that brings worries and fears; she's worrying about a possible subchorionic hemorrage right now. And she really could do without that to worry about! Many prayers and much love are coming her way.
And the bittersweet story of Beauty for Ashes as she is pregnant with her husband's child... after his death. I pray that things go smoothly for her.
Here at home, I got word from a friend who's been TTC for some time now. Earlier this year, I had a vivid dream that she would get lucky and I pictured visiting her in her home, in the spring, and she was visibly pregnant. As luck would have it, she did get pregnant this past spring; she's due in January. She's only now comfortable revealing that information. But I am so happy for her.
I also found out from a friend in Toronto that she is p/g with number 2, expected in the spring of 2011. I'm really pleased for her and her family.
I'm over the moon as well, because my sister is just about to enter week 13 of her own pregnancy. I get to be an Aunt! It was an IUI that did it for her and her husband. Although she is far from me, I try to chat with her every week to see how she's doing. So far, so good. She's always had trouble with low blood sugars so I'm hoping that all continues on the right path for her. No morning sickness to speak of either. And she's just trucking along with her work and her online courses (she's doing a Master's degree via correspondance). She's due next year in May, shortly before my birthday. I am really looking forward to seeing her on December 30. She'll be about 20 or 21 weeks along when I see her for the cruise we're all taking.
Ah yes, we'll be cruising with a 16-month old. This has been in the works for quite awhile. Since last year in fact. It's a gift graciously given by my parents to all of us. We're doing a one-week Western Carribean cruise early in January. There are logistical things to consider (Petite's sleeping arrangements, car seat storage, bringing all those diapers on board!) and there are other considerations, such as the fact that there's no in-cabin babysitting on the ship with this cruise line so hubby and/or I will be confined to the room after she crashes for the night. Also, there's no daytime activities for Petite given her age. She's too young to participate in the ship's daily stuff for children. However, she is welcome to partake in the activities as long as a parent joins with her. Things like that. We'll manage, I'm sure. I'm looking forward to it; I hope it is a lovely, relaxing holiday for all of us. I'm sure we need it!
I got an e-mail from a gentleman by the name of Kevin Martin who directed me to Nursingschools.net. They just published an article entitled "10 Biggest Pregnancy Myths Debunked" and after reading it, I find it contains a great deal of useful advice... not the assvice that we frequently get as p/g women. Namely, YES, you CAN eat fish while pregnant! Seriously people... did you ever stop to consider what cultures like the Japanese do when they're pregnant?! They certainly don't stop eating a food that is a staple in their diet, that's for darn sure! A little common sense folks. That's all it takes. And yes, while pregnant with Petite, I ate one can of tuna (packed in water) per week. It didn't hurt me, and it won't hurt you either. I'll be linking the article from my sidebar as well. It's something that all of us can learn from.
Things just finished and things upcoming include:
- stepdaughter's Sweet 16 party was last weekend (Red Carpet theme; it was a hit!)
- extra choir rehearsals for upcoming Choirfest (300 member chorale event for Christmas)
- my friend, K and her daughter K, heading west to the TaeKwon-Do National Championships
- the annual Christmas parade
- decorating for the holidays (weekend of November 27-28)
- papers and bloodwork to be done for our December 14 appointment in Montreal
- dealing with the pain of an ovarian cyst that will. not. give. up. Ugh.
- trying to resolve the financial f*ck-ups that Hubby's file has been subjected to: in total, he's only received $1300 since early August and trust me, that ain't enough to live on
- shopping for Christmas and doing stockings for my folks, Hubby's kids, Hubby and Petite
- packing and flying out for the New Year and the cruise
- trying to save enough to attend my cousin's wedding out west in June of next year; wish me luck!
- somewhere in there... hopefully fitting in a cycle! Whew!
A few photos of Petite in her Halloween costume. She was a butterfly and I think she was awfully cute. (She's so very adventurous; the scratch on her forehead was a headfirst encounter with a chair at church, and the bruise on the side of her nose/cheek was a slip in our living room and she gracefully fell on top of the small stainless steel pot that Nana had given her this summer to play with.)
I just trimmed her bangs tonight. They were getting rather straggly for my liking and they need to be evened out and not hang in her eyes. And bumps, bruises and all, I think she's darn cute. But you know, I'm rather biaised. As a Mommy should be.
Wow.
A Mommy.
That still shocks me, you know. I don't know if I'll ever get used to it.
I don't know if I want to; may it always strike me as something very special and very, very much wanted. May it never become banal or mundane. May it always remind me of our journey and may I always give thanks that our quest was fulfilled.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
A Mile a Minute!
Sort of like last week, these are just a few things I'm mulling over in my brain at the moment. Some nights it would be nice to just settle down to go to sleep and actually GO TO SLEEP rather than having all of this running at top speed through my brain! It's nights like that when I start babbling to Hubby about a hundred and one things and he turns to me, saying, "You're too wound up to sleep aren't you?" Bless his soul. Then he curls his arm around my hip and pulls me close. I get to snuggle beneath the covers and just let all the worries evaporate. Alas... in the morning, the racing thoughts return. Here's a sampling:
ARGH... finances. It's a juggling act isn't it? Seriously? I'm pretty good with finances and managing it all but yikes, it'd be nice to have some of the money that we're due, that's for sure. I'm trying to budget in all the special extras that we like to do, like support the local children's hospital by buying a ticket on the dream home for this year. Or the extras that we need to do, like make sure the snow tires get put on the vehicles before the end of October. Those sorts of things. It all costs money. Would you believe I haven't even done my taxes yet this year? I am sure we'd receive a chunk of change back but I need to actually purchase the software to help me do the taxes and thus, budget in that purchase! It'll all get done, eventually. I need to work it all in though before the end of the year!
Guess what?!!! Petite is going to have a cousin! I've known about this for a little while, but my sister asked that I keep it to myself until she was ready to tell everyone in the family. Anyway, she took that plunge last week, telling our aunts and uncles, and I am really happy for her and my BIL. Assuming all goes well (and I will definitely be keeping my fingers crossed on that count), they'll have their own little one at the end of May. Please God, may everything go smoothly. When we realized that her latest IUI had 'stuck,' I quickly calculated her EDD and the number of weeks she would be when we go on a cruise in the new year. She's cutting it close, but she'll be able to go on the cruise; the company policy is that if you are 24 weeks along or more, no cruise for you! However, she'll be 22 weeks so she just makes the cut-off! Whew! Unfortunately though, her EDD falls about two weeks before my cousin's wedding out west. So she won't be able to attend. That's a shame, but honestly, she's got one of the BEST REASONS EVER for not being able to go!
For almost a year now, Hubby and I have been fairly regular members of a church near our home. We went to a Meet and Greet the other afternoon and I was lucky enough to be able to chat with one of the choir members. When I was younger, I used to sing in both church and school choirs; I love to sing and I sing to Petite all the time. She grins and bounces along, or claps her hands. It's so cute! Since I moved to this province, I have missed out on that and I've frequently longed to find a choir to sing with or some sort of choral activity to participate in. After discussing the church choir with her the other day, I think I'm going to try to make it to their rehearsals. That would be so much fun for me. And it's a wonderful way to get to meet others in the church as well.
Our dear friend Pam over at Baby Wanted: Apply Within just celebrated a milestone birthday... 50 years old! Congratulations sweetie! Pam and her husband V have become good friends of ours and although we will miss next weekend's celebrations for the event, our thoughts will be right there with them. So instead, I'm sending wishes for lots of love and happiness for your birthday and always! Enjoy the festivities and yes, show us the cake when you can please. (Her cakes are just amazing!)
I am thrilled beyond belief for Sandra and Edward over at Alphabet Soup. I've blogged alongside Sandra for a few years now (she just migrated to her current blog awhile ago) and they don't live too far from me. Anyway, after a few years of attempting various procedures -- some here and some at the clinic where we got our own BFP -- she and Edward got very, very lucky. She got pregnant with triplets! A C-section date was set for mid-October, but her water broke last Friday night and the babies have arrived! Congratulations to them on their instant family! I'm so happy for them both. It looks like all three are doing well as they were delivered at 31 weeks gestation. Go say hi if you are so inclined and welcome their triplets to the world!
Yesterday, Petite turned 13 months old. I love to hear her laughter. She is babbling up a storm, and trying to talk on a daily basis. She is quick to reach for her sippy cup when she wants a drink. She definitely knows what she likes and doesn't in the way of food! She still only has three teeth (though the fourth has been bothering her for a bit; I expect it won't be long now). She and I went to her swimming class last Saturday morning and we had a lot of fun. She runs around the living room and down the hallway like she's been doing it forever! She squeals in delight at the cats. She ADORES music of all kinds and usually tries to hum when she hears music being played. She loves going to daycare; in fact, the past day or two have been tough for me to pull her away because she is having so much fun there! She can be gentle and cuddly, or destructive and rough 'n tumble. And she curls into me when she's sleepy and I rub her back, singing softly to her. I'm so in love with this sweet little girl. She just melts my heart.
Also yesterday, on the way home, I heard a song on the radio. It was the #1 hit on Petite's birthday in fact: I Gotta Feelin' by the Black Eyed Peas with will. i. am. I remember hearing that song frequently in the days leading up to her birth, and on her birthday as well. And every time I hear it, I get teary-eyed. I get swept right back to the night of her birth by the memory of our quiet time together on that first night alone in the hospital. The quiet time, after everyone had gone home, lights were dimmed and we could get some shuteye. She lay in her bassinet, sighing and gurgling now and then. I listened to her breathe. I watched her tiny fingers curl. I touched her round cheeks. I sat on my hospital bed and gazed in wonder at her darling little face, enthralled and amazed at the whole experience. I remember singing to myself, "I gotta feelin'... that tonight's gonna be a good night... that tonight's gonna be a good good night... I gotta feelin'." When I hear that song now, it takes me right back there. And I lose myself in the moment that was the night of her birth. It's wonderful. No one has that memory but me. And I cherish it deeply.
I'm getting together the paperwork and organizing dates for various tests/procedures leading up to our appointment in mid-December. One day at a time, and it too will all get done. At least... I have to hope so.
Keiko!!! Oh you done good girl! WOOT! Congratulations to Keiko over at Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed. Keiko has won RESOLVE's Hope Award this year for best viral video. Earlier this year, for RESOLVE's Project IF (our own Stirrup Queen wrote extensively on Project IF), Keiko and her husband Larry, produced a wonderful video about infertility and their own story. It made the rounds of the blogosphere and tonight, she receives the award in New York. Congratulations Keiko (and Larry too!) Well deserved. You are a wonderful advocate and I applaud your courage to stand up and put yourselves out there. Well done! If you would like to see Keiko's video, click over to her blog and check out the right sidebar. It's right there on top.
One other thing niggling at my brain this week: where on earth are we going to put the Christmas tree this year?! Our house isn't huge; the living room is Petite's playroom. And while I could put the tree in the dining room (at the front of the house), it's not really conducive for opening gifts on Christmas morning or letting Petite play with toys!! Argh! What to do?! Must figure this out before December 1st.
ARGH... finances. It's a juggling act isn't it? Seriously? I'm pretty good with finances and managing it all but yikes, it'd be nice to have some of the money that we're due, that's for sure. I'm trying to budget in all the special extras that we like to do, like support the local children's hospital by buying a ticket on the dream home for this year. Or the extras that we need to do, like make sure the snow tires get put on the vehicles before the end of October. Those sorts of things. It all costs money. Would you believe I haven't even done my taxes yet this year? I am sure we'd receive a chunk of change back but I need to actually purchase the software to help me do the taxes and thus, budget in that purchase! It'll all get done, eventually. I need to work it all in though before the end of the year!
Guess what?!!! Petite is going to have a cousin! I've known about this for a little while, but my sister asked that I keep it to myself until she was ready to tell everyone in the family. Anyway, she took that plunge last week, telling our aunts and uncles, and I am really happy for her and my BIL. Assuming all goes well (and I will definitely be keeping my fingers crossed on that count), they'll have their own little one at the end of May. Please God, may everything go smoothly. When we realized that her latest IUI had 'stuck,' I quickly calculated her EDD and the number of weeks she would be when we go on a cruise in the new year. She's cutting it close, but she'll be able to go on the cruise; the company policy is that if you are 24 weeks along or more, no cruise for you! However, she'll be 22 weeks so she just makes the cut-off! Whew! Unfortunately though, her EDD falls about two weeks before my cousin's wedding out west. So she won't be able to attend. That's a shame, but honestly, she's got one of the BEST REASONS EVER for not being able to go!
For almost a year now, Hubby and I have been fairly regular members of a church near our home. We went to a Meet and Greet the other afternoon and I was lucky enough to be able to chat with one of the choir members. When I was younger, I used to sing in both church and school choirs; I love to sing and I sing to Petite all the time. She grins and bounces along, or claps her hands. It's so cute! Since I moved to this province, I have missed out on that and I've frequently longed to find a choir to sing with or some sort of choral activity to participate in. After discussing the church choir with her the other day, I think I'm going to try to make it to their rehearsals. That would be so much fun for me. And it's a wonderful way to get to meet others in the church as well.
Our dear friend Pam over at Baby Wanted: Apply Within just celebrated a milestone birthday... 50 years old! Congratulations sweetie! Pam and her husband V have become good friends of ours and although we will miss next weekend's celebrations for the event, our thoughts will be right there with them. So instead, I'm sending wishes for lots of love and happiness for your birthday and always! Enjoy the festivities and yes, show us the cake when you can please. (Her cakes are just amazing!)
I am thrilled beyond belief for Sandra and Edward over at Alphabet Soup. I've blogged alongside Sandra for a few years now (she just migrated to her current blog awhile ago) and they don't live too far from me. Anyway, after a few years of attempting various procedures -- some here and some at the clinic where we got our own BFP -- she and Edward got very, very lucky. She got pregnant with triplets! A C-section date was set for mid-October, but her water broke last Friday night and the babies have arrived! Congratulations to them on their instant family! I'm so happy for them both. It looks like all three are doing well as they were delivered at 31 weeks gestation. Go say hi if you are so inclined and welcome their triplets to the world!
Yesterday, Petite turned 13 months old. I love to hear her laughter. She is babbling up a storm, and trying to talk on a daily basis. She is quick to reach for her sippy cup when she wants a drink. She definitely knows what she likes and doesn't in the way of food! She still only has three teeth (though the fourth has been bothering her for a bit; I expect it won't be long now). She and I went to her swimming class last Saturday morning and we had a lot of fun. She runs around the living room and down the hallway like she's been doing it forever! She squeals in delight at the cats. She ADORES music of all kinds and usually tries to hum when she hears music being played. She loves going to daycare; in fact, the past day or two have been tough for me to pull her away because she is having so much fun there! She can be gentle and cuddly, or destructive and rough 'n tumble. And she curls into me when she's sleepy and I rub her back, singing softly to her. I'm so in love with this sweet little girl. She just melts my heart.
Also yesterday, on the way home, I heard a song on the radio. It was the #1 hit on Petite's birthday in fact: I Gotta Feelin' by the Black Eyed Peas with will. i. am. I remember hearing that song frequently in the days leading up to her birth, and on her birthday as well. And every time I hear it, I get teary-eyed. I get swept right back to the night of her birth by the memory of our quiet time together on that first night alone in the hospital. The quiet time, after everyone had gone home, lights were dimmed and we could get some shuteye. She lay in her bassinet, sighing and gurgling now and then. I listened to her breathe. I watched her tiny fingers curl. I touched her round cheeks. I sat on my hospital bed and gazed in wonder at her darling little face, enthralled and amazed at the whole experience. I remember singing to myself, "I gotta feelin'... that tonight's gonna be a good night... that tonight's gonna be a good good night... I gotta feelin'." When I hear that song now, it takes me right back there. And I lose myself in the moment that was the night of her birth. It's wonderful. No one has that memory but me. And I cherish it deeply.
I'm getting together the paperwork and organizing dates for various tests/procedures leading up to our appointment in mid-December. One day at a time, and it too will all get done. At least... I have to hope so.
Keiko!!! Oh you done good girl! WOOT! Congratulations to Keiko over at Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed. Keiko has won RESOLVE's Hope Award this year for best viral video. Earlier this year, for RESOLVE's Project IF (our own Stirrup Queen wrote extensively on Project IF), Keiko and her husband Larry, produced a wonderful video about infertility and their own story. It made the rounds of the blogosphere and tonight, she receives the award in New York. Congratulations Keiko (and Larry too!) Well deserved. You are a wonderful advocate and I applaud your courage to stand up and put yourselves out there. Well done! If you would like to see Keiko's video, click over to her blog and check out the right sidebar. It's right there on top.
One other thing niggling at my brain this week: where on earth are we going to put the Christmas tree this year?! Our house isn't huge; the living room is Petite's playroom. And while I could put the tree in the dining room (at the front of the house), it's not really conducive for opening gifts on Christmas morning or letting Petite play with toys!! Argh! What to do?! Must figure this out before December 1st.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Easter, Birthday and Surgery
I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter. We did, although it was relatively quiet. Hubby's kids and our friends K&K came over to spend the day. And Petite was a sweetie in her Easter dress. She is so social; she made eyes at everyone and smiled at the entire congregation at church on Easter morning. What a cutie.
Last week, I had surgery to remove my gall bladder. As some of you know, I had my first attack while I was pregnant with Petite. Talk about scary! I was terrified I was going to miscarry. Luckily it was just gallstones but damn, they hurt like hell. After Petite was born, I had hoped it would all be over and done with. Nuh uh. My gall bladder had other ideas and after a meal of fish and chips at home over Christmas, I had a second (and third) attack. Bloodwork revealed I was sufficiently jaundiced. And two ultrasounds revealed multiple little stones. Surgery was indicated and on Tuesday past, it was done. Considering I rarely had attacks and never felt pain like others with gall bladder issues seem to indicate, I wonder how urgent it was for me to have it removed. Regardless, it's done.
Lemme tell you... even with Ativan, hot cloths on my forearms, Emla (numbing cream), and a plethora of other ways to help, it SUCKED BALLS trying to find my vein for the IV. I remember the gas going on my face and I frantically clawed for something, ANYTHING to hold onto while they tried to get a vein. I remember distinctly rising up off the table twice as they tried and mother of God, what a helluva bruise I have on my left forearm. Not cool at all. I still feel residual pain down to the wrist in the left forearm. I hope that disappears soon. And I have four incision points. It's a total bitch not being able to bend over well, and it's terrible that I can't pick up Petite! Seriously. They told me after surgery "Don't lift anything over 10 lbs for 6 weeks." They're kidding right? They do know I'm the mom of an almost eight-month old baby girl? Maybe, just MAYBE they could have told me that BEFORE THE DAMN SURGERY!? Christ. Incompetence at its best. Never would I have imagined that sort of indication for that length of time. Tell me they're exaggerating... PLEASE.
Petite can tell that I'm totally out of sorts too. She's always looking for me or trying to get in my arms. And I hate not being able to take her. My mom and aunt are doing a marvelous job with her of course, but how do you explain to an infant that mommy hurts right now and can't pick you up? It just doesn't work. And it sucks. Hard.
Also last week, we celebrated my husband's 42nd birthday. How opportune that his MP3 player decided to quit working a few days before that, thus providing me with the perfect idea for a gift. Unfortunately, his birthday was two days after my surgery, so we couldn't do much on the exact day itself. However, Petite did give her daddy a birthday card.
And as mentioned, Mom and one of my aunts are visiting. They have been here about 10 days now. Next Thursday, two more of my aunts will arrive as well. I know they will see many changes in Petite. She's no longer the immobile little infant she was when they saw her last, that's for sure.
Petite is seven and a half months old. She's active and very happy during the day, but night time is completely different. She fusses and fumes and she doesn't sleep well at all. Some nights she is up 4 or 5 times, while others, she's only up once. It's the luck of the draw with her. So there are good days and bad days for mommy and daddy!
She still doesn't have any teeth. My mom laughed and said we'll get her fitted for dentures this week! Seriously though, not a tooth in her head, although there are some days when we suspect teething pain. So she's still eating cereals, pureed veggies, yogourt, some pureed fruits (although she doesn't like fruit much). She got a taste of ice cream at Easter and she loved that! She's still taking medicine for reflux; when we forget a dose, it's usually very noticeable in her demeanor.
She loves taking a bath and swimming; I'm hoping she'll be a water baby like my sister and I were. She adores outings. As I mentioned, she's a social butterfly. She smiles at everyone and goodness, doesn't a smiling baby bring out all sorts of comments from the general public?! She's a cutie, that's for sure. Her smile looks just like mine; I get a giggle when I see it and her whole face lights up. It's gorgeous.
Right now, I'm sort of investigating daycare options. I need to put some money aside for that (man, it's costly in this province!) and I have to figure out exactly what I need to ask people when I'm looking for daycare. If you have thoughts on that, I'm listening.
Best wishes to all. Hope everyone is well.
Last week, I had surgery to remove my gall bladder. As some of you know, I had my first attack while I was pregnant with Petite. Talk about scary! I was terrified I was going to miscarry. Luckily it was just gallstones but damn, they hurt like hell. After Petite was born, I had hoped it would all be over and done with. Nuh uh. My gall bladder had other ideas and after a meal of fish and chips at home over Christmas, I had a second (and third) attack. Bloodwork revealed I was sufficiently jaundiced. And two ultrasounds revealed multiple little stones. Surgery was indicated and on Tuesday past, it was done. Considering I rarely had attacks and never felt pain like others with gall bladder issues seem to indicate, I wonder how urgent it was for me to have it removed. Regardless, it's done.
Lemme tell you... even with Ativan, hot cloths on my forearms, Emla (numbing cream), and a plethora of other ways to help, it SUCKED BALLS trying to find my vein for the IV. I remember the gas going on my face and I frantically clawed for something, ANYTHING to hold onto while they tried to get a vein. I remember distinctly rising up off the table twice as they tried and mother of God, what a helluva bruise I have on my left forearm. Not cool at all. I still feel residual pain down to the wrist in the left forearm. I hope that disappears soon. And I have four incision points. It's a total bitch not being able to bend over well, and it's terrible that I can't pick up Petite! Seriously. They told me after surgery "Don't lift anything over 10 lbs for 6 weeks." They're kidding right? They do know I'm the mom of an almost eight-month old baby girl? Maybe, just MAYBE they could have told me that BEFORE THE DAMN SURGERY!? Christ. Incompetence at its best. Never would I have imagined that sort of indication for that length of time. Tell me they're exaggerating... PLEASE.
Petite can tell that I'm totally out of sorts too. She's always looking for me or trying to get in my arms. And I hate not being able to take her. My mom and aunt are doing a marvelous job with her of course, but how do you explain to an infant that mommy hurts right now and can't pick you up? It just doesn't work. And it sucks. Hard.
Also last week, we celebrated my husband's 42nd birthday. How opportune that his MP3 player decided to quit working a few days before that, thus providing me with the perfect idea for a gift. Unfortunately, his birthday was two days after my surgery, so we couldn't do much on the exact day itself. However, Petite did give her daddy a birthday card.
And as mentioned, Mom and one of my aunts are visiting. They have been here about 10 days now. Next Thursday, two more of my aunts will arrive as well. I know they will see many changes in Petite. She's no longer the immobile little infant she was when they saw her last, that's for sure.
Petite is seven and a half months old. She's active and very happy during the day, but night time is completely different. She fusses and fumes and she doesn't sleep well at all. Some nights she is up 4 or 5 times, while others, she's only up once. It's the luck of the draw with her. So there are good days and bad days for mommy and daddy!
She still doesn't have any teeth. My mom laughed and said we'll get her fitted for dentures this week! Seriously though, not a tooth in her head, although there are some days when we suspect teething pain. So she's still eating cereals, pureed veggies, yogourt, some pureed fruits (although she doesn't like fruit much). She got a taste of ice cream at Easter and she loved that! She's still taking medicine for reflux; when we forget a dose, it's usually very noticeable in her demeanor.
She loves taking a bath and swimming; I'm hoping she'll be a water baby like my sister and I were. She adores outings. As I mentioned, she's a social butterfly. She smiles at everyone and goodness, doesn't a smiling baby bring out all sorts of comments from the general public?! She's a cutie, that's for sure. Her smile looks just like mine; I get a giggle when I see it and her whole face lights up. It's gorgeous.
Right now, I'm sort of investigating daycare options. I need to put some money aside for that (man, it's costly in this province!) and I have to figure out exactly what I need to ask people when I'm looking for daycare. If you have thoughts on that, I'm listening.
Best wishes to all. Hope everyone is well.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Getting Sick While P/G Ain't All It's Cracked Up To Be (31w 3 d)
I was right... that cold manifested itself in spades, lemme tell ya! It started off as just a cold, then moved to my sinuses where it embedded itself nicely, and then proceeded to wreak havoc on my eyes as pinkeye. Nice huh? Usually for a sinus infection I'd grab the Nasonex. But as I'm expecting, no can do. Similarly for the pinkeye. I had to resort to saline rinses for my sinuses, over-the-counter polysporin antibiotic drops for the pinkeye and zinc/echinacea and the occasional Halls for the cold. All washed down with oodles and oodles of orange juice. Oh it's been a fun week in our house! I left work last Wednesday afternoon and I never went out of the house til I got in the car on Tuesday this week to go back to work. Thrilling indeed.
On Wednesday, I had a bit of a scare. On my way to work, I'm driving along in rush hour traffic on a four-lane major road when I see the car in front of me swerve to go around this rather large grey lump in the middle of the road. I swerve too, slowing down to see what it is. Imagine my shock and dismay to see a turtle (tortoise? I don't purport to know the difference) upside down, flailing legs trying to turn over! I couldn't believe it. Mind you, there is a major river just a little bit away from that road, so frequently you get ducks, or other animal life crossing the road to get to the river. I had just been thinking that I hadn't seen any ducks this year when this turtle is virtually right in front of me!
Keeping an eye on the cars behind me, I slowed down, pulled to the side a few hundred feet down the road, and carefully got out of my car to go back to save this poor thing. By the time I got there, the turtle was right side up and none too happy. I'd venture to say it was a good foot or foot and a half across, and it was clearly in pain. Legs, tail and head seemed fine, but the top of the shell was badly, badly broken. There was mucus and blood in the open wound and I almost cried, seeing this poor animal in such distress. I think it might have been a snapping turtle (lots of those around here and plenty in the river of that size) but I did manage to position myself behind it, gently lifted it a foot or two up in the air and carried it to the grass on the side of the road. There was a driver who kindly stopped to let me do this, and he held up traffic behind him so I could get this poor animal to safety. Then I hopped over the barrier and picked up the turtle again, and put it in the shade of the overpass above the road as the day promised to be hellishly hot.
I went back to my car, wiped the blood from my hands with a tissue and carried on to work. Upon arrival at the office, I searched the Net looking for a number for injured wildlife rescue in my city and I called to report it. They hoped to go find the turtle and take it to a sanctuary where it could possibly be rehabilitated. All day on Wednesday, I worried and wondered about that animal, but you know, I couldn't call them back to find out if they'd located it. If they did, superb. If they didn't... I can't change that outcome. I did the absolute best I could. If I hadn't stopped, that animal would have died within 5 or 10 minutes of my passing by. I truly believe that. Hopefully it has a chance. But my heart can't bear to know for certain if it doesn't.
Anyway, that start to the day on Wednesday left me stressing a bit and Petit wouldn't cooperate at al. I barely felt the baby all day so Wednesday evening, I insisted that we find the doppler and listen for awhile. All was good and I knew I could relax. Whew.
Today, I had an OB appointment. At 31 weeks 3 days, here's the latest:
On Wednesday, I had a bit of a scare. On my way to work, I'm driving along in rush hour traffic on a four-lane major road when I see the car in front of me swerve to go around this rather large grey lump in the middle of the road. I swerve too, slowing down to see what it is. Imagine my shock and dismay to see a turtle (tortoise? I don't purport to know the difference) upside down, flailing legs trying to turn over! I couldn't believe it. Mind you, there is a major river just a little bit away from that road, so frequently you get ducks, or other animal life crossing the road to get to the river. I had just been thinking that I hadn't seen any ducks this year when this turtle is virtually right in front of me!
Keeping an eye on the cars behind me, I slowed down, pulled to the side a few hundred feet down the road, and carefully got out of my car to go back to save this poor thing. By the time I got there, the turtle was right side up and none too happy. I'd venture to say it was a good foot or foot and a half across, and it was clearly in pain. Legs, tail and head seemed fine, but the top of the shell was badly, badly broken. There was mucus and blood in the open wound and I almost cried, seeing this poor animal in such distress. I think it might have been a snapping turtle (lots of those around here and plenty in the river of that size) but I did manage to position myself behind it, gently lifted it a foot or two up in the air and carried it to the grass on the side of the road. There was a driver who kindly stopped to let me do this, and he held up traffic behind him so I could get this poor animal to safety. Then I hopped over the barrier and picked up the turtle again, and put it in the shade of the overpass above the road as the day promised to be hellishly hot.
I went back to my car, wiped the blood from my hands with a tissue and carried on to work. Upon arrival at the office, I searched the Net looking for a number for injured wildlife rescue in my city and I called to report it. They hoped to go find the turtle and take it to a sanctuary where it could possibly be rehabilitated. All day on Wednesday, I worried and wondered about that animal, but you know, I couldn't call them back to find out if they'd located it. If they did, superb. If they didn't... I can't change that outcome. I did the absolute best I could. If I hadn't stopped, that animal would have died within 5 or 10 minutes of my passing by. I truly believe that. Hopefully it has a chance. But my heart can't bear to know for certain if it doesn't.
Anyway, that start to the day on Wednesday left me stressing a bit and Petit wouldn't cooperate at al. I barely felt the baby all day so Wednesday evening, I insisted that we find the doppler and listen for awhile. All was good and I knew I could relax. Whew.
Today, I had an OB appointment. At 31 weeks 3 days, here's the latest:
- Petit is growing like a weed. I'm measuring 36 weeks but that's normal for me; I'm usually 5-7 weeks ahead in measurement, given that I carry extra pounds.
- Petit's heartbeat is in the 140s and going strong.
- I have a little protein in my urine, and they attributed that to the infections I'm semi-still battling this week.
- My blood pressure is 138/78; perfectly normal for me.
- I picked up the OB admission papers for the hospital; I need to drop them off sometime in the next week or two.
- I was urged to get my butt to L&D next time I'm concerned at all about Petit's movements. The nurse told me that is the third most frequent reason for patients to show up at L&D... number 1 being active labour, number 2 being water breaking. But they know how much hearing Petit on the monitor would reassure so I was encouraged to go ahead next time there's any doubt in my mind. I'm glad she reassured me that way.
My next appointment is in two weeks when we get a measurement ultrasound and another appointment with my regular OB.
Dawn... and to all of the rest of you who've already travelled this path:
I'm getting things together to pack a bag or two for the hospital. What did you pack that you didn't need? And what did you wish you had with you but didn't pack? Fill me in. Help me out folks. I'm a total newb at this and I'm still in total disbelief that we've made it this far.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Stress 101
On Friday afternoon, I had an appointment with my GP. She was glad to see me, and she was genuinely happy for us in having gotten this far; she knows even this little success was extremely hard-won as she's followed us for years.
A few things came out of that appointment. First up, my blood pressure is good, measuring 122/76. I remarked to her that I'd had one or two severely dizzy spells. Hopefully that won't be the norm. Hubby commented later that, "Funny, you get p/g and your blood pressure goes down!" Blood pressure is something I have to watch. High blood pressure runs in our family and I'd rather avoid having to take yet another pill.
I asked the doctor about a plethora of things, like taking extra folic acid (she gave me a 'script for some), the nausea (again, a 'script in case it becomes horrid), about talking to a lactation consultant later on as women who are hypothyroid often have problems producing enough milk, and about the metformin and the synthroid. I'll return to the endocrinologist shortly; in the meantime she ordered some bloodwork to measure those levels as well as progesterone (it'd be nice to reduce the frequency of these injections, lemme tell ya!) and iron levels and the like.
The most interesting bit of the appointment was her recommendation to take one or two weeks off work. As I described to her, right now I'm spending five to six hours per day commuting. Now, this isn't the norm but right now, our city is experiencing a bus strike. And that means that hubby needs a ride to work... and of course he works right in the heart of the downtown core. Ugh. So we're up at 5 a.m., out the door at 6:15, picking up hubby's co-worker (who lives near us but is also stranded because of the bus strike) at 6:30, and I manage to drop them off somewhere around 7:50 or 8 a.m., arriving at my office just after 9 a.m. I'm working through my lunches to save that hour on the back end, and when I finally manage to leave the office, I do it all in reverse. We arrive home after 7 p.m. some days. It's insane. Completely, totally insane.
Now, add to that the recent stress levels at the office. I haven't written much about work and what goes on at our workplace but lately, what used to be enjoyable is certainly far from it. Honestly. I blew up at my boss the other day and in that 'conversation' I referred to our director as "the asshole in the corner who can't seem to get his head out of his ass and if he doesn't do it soon, there won't BE anyone here to work with!"
This stems from the goings-on in May. Back in May, we got ourselves a new Director. And by September, this director determined that our entire branch needed a re-org (as frequently happens in government). Well, he went so far as to merge our team with another, tossing me out of the acting manager position and bringing in a new woman who herself had just joined our department from outside. She still doesn't understand much of what we do or how we do it. Honestly. It isn't fun.
So moving forward, I'm the first one to embrace change. I think that if there are more effective ways to work, I'm willing to give it a shot. Five or six months into it, it's quite obvious this isn't working. I've been moved from one office to another (for a new, less-senior employee apparently) and then asked to share a cubicle with three other people. Yeah... real nice when I'm nauseous ain't it?
To name a few of the problems: we have an acting liaison who stepped down, another who tried filling the shoes in a different position but told our manager last week that he is no longer interested, two women retired right off the bat, another is gone on (assumed) stress leave and is not permitted to talk about the differences between her and her previous supervisor, another who has been bitched at for his hours of work (although he works his time always!), and still another who was told last week that after 10 years of working compressed hours, she is no longer permitted to do it. As for me, this new manager has bitched at me a few times about my appointments, all valid and all get put into the system. I make SURE of that! I've been moved from Technical Writing to French/English Quality Control, to editing Policy (come on people, cut and paste editing does not literally mean cut and paste!! Sheesh!) and now back to Tech Writing because I had enough of being tossed around. I have been asked to move offices twice. And all in all, it's making me livid. Stressed. Pissed off. And I'm definitely looking elsewhere. But putting myself through a full competition to find some new work at this time isn't wise either. I'm just trying to hang in there and not let too much of it get to me.
I told my doctor a lot of this and she figures I just need time to breathe. Like she said, if I take a week or two off work, that would put me a week or two further into this p/g, making it safer for both me and Petit, it would let me de-stress a touch and it would give me an opportunity to get some much-needed sleep. These days, I'm falling asleep on the couch at about 8 p.m. Hubby wakes me at 9 p.m. for the PIO injection and I collapse in bed right thereafter. It's nuts. I can't keep doing it, that's for sure. Somethin's gotta give...
On Tuesday I have another ultrasound. We'll see if Petit is doing okay. I'm worried of course and I just keep hoping that all will be well.
A few things came out of that appointment. First up, my blood pressure is good, measuring 122/76. I remarked to her that I'd had one or two severely dizzy spells. Hopefully that won't be the norm. Hubby commented later that, "Funny, you get p/g and your blood pressure goes down!" Blood pressure is something I have to watch. High blood pressure runs in our family and I'd rather avoid having to take yet another pill.
I asked the doctor about a plethora of things, like taking extra folic acid (she gave me a 'script for some), the nausea (again, a 'script in case it becomes horrid), about talking to a lactation consultant later on as women who are hypothyroid often have problems producing enough milk, and about the metformin and the synthroid. I'll return to the endocrinologist shortly; in the meantime she ordered some bloodwork to measure those levels as well as progesterone (it'd be nice to reduce the frequency of these injections, lemme tell ya!) and iron levels and the like.
The most interesting bit of the appointment was her recommendation to take one or two weeks off work. As I described to her, right now I'm spending five to six hours per day commuting. Now, this isn't the norm but right now, our city is experiencing a bus strike. And that means that hubby needs a ride to work... and of course he works right in the heart of the downtown core. Ugh. So we're up at 5 a.m., out the door at 6:15, picking up hubby's co-worker (who lives near us but is also stranded because of the bus strike) at 6:30, and I manage to drop them off somewhere around 7:50 or 8 a.m., arriving at my office just after 9 a.m. I'm working through my lunches to save that hour on the back end, and when I finally manage to leave the office, I do it all in reverse. We arrive home after 7 p.m. some days. It's insane. Completely, totally insane.
Now, add to that the recent stress levels at the office. I haven't written much about work and what goes on at our workplace but lately, what used to be enjoyable is certainly far from it. Honestly. I blew up at my boss the other day and in that 'conversation' I referred to our director as "the asshole in the corner who can't seem to get his head out of his ass and if he doesn't do it soon, there won't BE anyone here to work with!"
This stems from the goings-on in May. Back in May, we got ourselves a new Director. And by September, this director determined that our entire branch needed a re-org (as frequently happens in government). Well, he went so far as to merge our team with another, tossing me out of the acting manager position and bringing in a new woman who herself had just joined our department from outside. She still doesn't understand much of what we do or how we do it. Honestly. It isn't fun.
So moving forward, I'm the first one to embrace change. I think that if there are more effective ways to work, I'm willing to give it a shot. Five or six months into it, it's quite obvious this isn't working. I've been moved from one office to another (for a new, less-senior employee apparently) and then asked to share a cubicle with three other people. Yeah... real nice when I'm nauseous ain't it?
To name a few of the problems: we have an acting liaison who stepped down, another who tried filling the shoes in a different position but told our manager last week that he is no longer interested, two women retired right off the bat, another is gone on (assumed) stress leave and is not permitted to talk about the differences between her and her previous supervisor, another who has been bitched at for his hours of work (although he works his time always!), and still another who was told last week that after 10 years of working compressed hours, she is no longer permitted to do it. As for me, this new manager has bitched at me a few times about my appointments, all valid and all get put into the system. I make SURE of that! I've been moved from Technical Writing to French/English Quality Control, to editing Policy (come on people, cut and paste editing does not literally mean cut and paste!! Sheesh!) and now back to Tech Writing because I had enough of being tossed around. I have been asked to move offices twice. And all in all, it's making me livid. Stressed. Pissed off. And I'm definitely looking elsewhere. But putting myself through a full competition to find some new work at this time isn't wise either. I'm just trying to hang in there and not let too much of it get to me.
I told my doctor a lot of this and she figures I just need time to breathe. Like she said, if I take a week or two off work, that would put me a week or two further into this p/g, making it safer for both me and Petit, it would let me de-stress a touch and it would give me an opportunity to get some much-needed sleep. These days, I'm falling asleep on the couch at about 8 p.m. Hubby wakes me at 9 p.m. for the PIO injection and I collapse in bed right thereafter. It's nuts. I can't keep doing it, that's for sure. Somethin's gotta give...
On Tuesday I have another ultrasound. We'll see if Petit is doing okay. I'm worried of course and I just keep hoping that all will be well.
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