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Monday, February 01, 2016

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Microblog Mondays: Alone, or Lonely?

Our dear Mel over at Stirrup Queens has begun a blog phenomenon... as she frequently does. 

Microblog Mondays. Writing in your own space. Something short and sweet. But it's meant to take back our bloggy space and call it our own. I am going to try to do this periodically. Life's hectic. So we'll see how long this lasts.
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As children, my sister and I grew up on a street with oodles of children. She was very social; she loved being WITH people, doing things WITH the kids. Heaven forbid she had to spend time alone. That was something my sister didn't enjoy at all. Me on the other hand, I loved being alone. Reading. Writing. I remember playing Barbies all by myself and loving it. I enjoyed time with my friends too of course, but I didn't depend on them to entertain me. Then again, I had my sister pretty much attached at my hip.


Those same kids on the street, they were in my Girl Guides troop. We did lots of activities together. And some of the kids from my church were in Girl Guides with us too. As were kids in the school choir. A circle of us. All around each other. We either knew each other personally, or knew someone THROUGH someone else or through a different activity/group.


When it comes to Petite, I am sad for her. Very sad.


The plan, the great plan we envisaged, was to have two children (at least). If for no other reason, so she could have a sibling close to her age. Hubby and I are older and when we are gone, who will she have? Seriously... who? She'll be very much alone.


Yes, she has her older sister (who is now 21) and her older brother (who turns 20 today by the way). They love her. But she is only 6. She's far removed in age from them. When she is only 20, they will be 33 and 35. Huge differences.


Petite has made a couple of good friends in school. Not many though. She tells us that many of the kids tease her.
They have already told her that she is...
oh how I shudder...
the dreaded "F" word.




Fat. They call her fat. And I cry at night for her. I truly do. I know what that feels like. I know how it is to grow up with that stigma. I worry for her. I cannot take it away. Other than encouraging her to be healthy, eat well and exercise, what else can I do? I don't know. There are no solutions.


She has no friends on our street to speak of. There are only a few children in neighbouring houses and they are all at least three years older than she is. That makes a difference at her age. And let's face it... being an only child, she definitely knows how to be bossy and direct the playtime! She has ideas and Lord forbid if you don't wanna follow along!


She attends swimming classes, but has no close friends there. She comes to church with me, but has no close friends there. She goes to Sparks (aka Girl Guides, but for young children, ages 5-6), and has only one good friend there. And she has one friend from her years at daycare... but that little girl now has many school friends too.


Petite just wants someone to play with. To spend time with. To be silly with and play stuffies and pretend, and dress up, and Barbies, and Lego, and all that sort of thing. I can only do so much. Let's face it, I'm way too OCD to have much imagination! Even kneeling to play with her while she is in the bath is giving me huge troubles... my psoriatic arthritis is acting up badly and my left knee is a bloomin' mess at the moment. (I've no idea how I'm going to run a 10K in May!) So I'm desperately seeking a way to resolve this for her.


I see that as a child, I was alone, but never lonely.
I see that Petite is very much alone, and definitely quite lonely. 
I don't know how to fix it or help her.
I don't think I can.


And again, I cry at night, wondering what I can do, short of moving to a 'young family' area, to help her socialize more. The last couple of weeks, I have organized playdates on the weekends. I think I need to do more of that, and make it a regular thing. I have to do something, lest she grow up sad, alone, and lonely and perpetually wishing for more.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Microblog Mondays: Is This What Life is REALLY Like?

Our dear Mel over at Stirrup Queens has begun a blog phenomenon... as she frequently does. 

Microblog Mondays. Writing in your own space. Something short and sweet. But it's meant to take back our bloggy space and call it our own. I am going to try to do this periodically. Life's hectic. So we'll see how long this lasts.
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It's been awhile since I wrote. Life sort of takes over, I suppose. Between
  • Petite's Girl Guides,
  • her Gymnastics,
  • physio twice a week for the bum knee that I messed up while in California this past summer,
  • pool and backyard renovations (my my, but it looks GORGEOUS for next summer!),
  • having had our Thanksgiving at our house (14 people in attendance!),
  • celebrating my stepdaughter's 21st birthday,
  • celebrating Petite's first loose tooth and visit from the Tooth Fairy,
  • preparations for Christmas,
  • fostering cats for the Humane Society,
  • working like crazy (as always),
  • general house upkeep (as much as possible!)
  • and all the rest... well, I'm plum tuckered out.
I need a breather. But we're well into the Christmas rush now. I haven't done a card yet! I haven't gotten Petite's Christmas pics with Santa yet! I haven't baked my cookies yet! and... and... and... !!!!


I think wine is in order. Copious amounts of it! Do you think I could make a wine advent calendar for the adults in the house? I like that idea! Then again, it might not be conducive to actually getting to work on time... Ah, the perils of adulthood!

Monday, October 05, 2015

Radio Interview

This is a link to a radio interview I did on Friday morning (live and on the air!) with some lovely folks from Radio-Canada (the French equivalent of CBC) in Toronto.

Advance to the 8:15 mark or thereabouts.

And I hope you speak French!!

We're so thrilled about IVF being covered in Ontario! Ah... if only I were a couple of years younger, we'd go for #2!!

Y a pas deux matins pareils

Thursday, October 01, 2015

Coverage for Ontario Families! YAHOO!!!!

It FINALLY happened.

The Government of Ontario stepped up and did an incredible thing today.

As of December 1, 2015, they will cover one IVF cycle as outlined in the news release that was put out today. The coverage has been ramping up all week and today, Ontario patients finally found out the details of the proposed program.

Improving Access to Fertility Treatments for Ontario Families

There are other questions that are being asked, of course, and in due time, they too shall be answered. Such as whether ICSI is covered. What about PGD? What about egg donors? Or TESA? It's a lot to look at, but honestly, today the Ontario government has given Ontarians HOPE. So much hope that it's overwhelming.

When the news broke on social media earlier today, I was completely overwhelmed. The tears ran down my face.

For years, I have blogged, advocated, talked, walked, liaised, done everything I possibly could to encourage Ontario, Canada even, to raise this health care issue and to recognize it and provide medical coverage for it. And today, I have seen that dream come true.

While it's too late for me (women must be under the age of 43 at time of treatment, and I'm an 'elderly' 45 now), it's not too late for many women coming behind me.

I'm glad to see Ontario doing the right thing. I witnessed today with hope, joy and a sense of relief. We're not quite done yet, as the finessing of the program is yet to come, but it's so uplifting to know we're on the right track.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

On the Verge of History

There is news. GOOD news.

I am so excited about the coming days, it's beyond incredible how terribly thrilled I am.

The Ontario government is on the verge of an announcement. I can feel it. It's in the air.

The papers are awash with fertility stories and murmurings of "delays" in the upcoming announcement abound today. It's palpable. It truly is.

And on the fertility groups and forums I am part of, there is tension, excitement, eagerness, hope, prayer, and above all, cheer.

We are on the cusp of a momentous decision and I pray with every fibre of my being that the right decisions are made by those in power so that many of the people of this great province can move forward with their plans to build a family.

Stay tuned...

GREAT things are coming. And very, very soon...

Monday, July 06, 2015

Microblog Mondays: My Furbaby is Not Long for This World...

Our dear Mel over at Stirrup Queens has begun a blog phenomenon... as she frequently does. 

Microblog Mondays. Writing in your own space. Something short and sweet. But it's meant to take back our bloggy space and call it our own. I am going to try to do this periodically. Life's hectic. So we'll see how long this lasts.
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I do not know what to write. 

My heart aches. 

In January 2014 I wrote about the heartbreaking loss we'd suffered. My then 18-year old cat, Shadow, passed away in my arms the day we returned from a family vacation. 

Now, a year and a half later, Shadow's brother, 19-year old Smudge (he would be 20 on August 25), is in pain and he is showing me signs that he is ready to go play with Shadow and the catnip mice in the sky. 

I cannot put him through any more pain. I hate to see him struggle to jump or walk, and his legs tremble as he tries valiantly to go to the washroom. Poor baby boy. It's not fair. 

I've had my boys longer than I've known Hubby. It was my boys who showed Petite how to treat animals... kindly, gentle, with the utmost of care and respect. And it is because I love him so much that today I made the dreaded phone call to have a vet come later this week for an in-home euthanasia. It will tear me up inside. But I need to do this. For him. I cannot prolong his pain and suffering for my own benefit. Nope. Not fair. 

Big Boy 'Mudgers, I love you. I always will. Mommy will see you again and rub that white spot on your belly, nuzzling you softly. I promise. 

October 2008; enjoying the sunshine

August 2009: Rub my white spot Mommy!

August 2014; between Mommy's legs for the night!

October 2014; loving the catmint!

January 2015; snuggling in bed with Petite for the FIRST time!

Monday, June 29, 2015

Microblog Mondays: Be Careful What You Wish For

Our dear Mel over at Stirrup Queens has begun a blog phenomenon... as she frequently does. 

Microblog Mondays. Writing in your own space. Something short and sweet. But it's meant to take back our bloggy space and call it our own. I am going to try to do this periodically. Life's hectic. So we'll see how long this lasts.
*********************
For many years now, I've sought to change jobs. For a plethora of reasons that I will not go into here. Suffice it to say, I really needed a change. Badly.
It's taken a couple of years for this particular competition (yes, government works very slowly to ensure that all the T's are crossed and all the I's are dotted). But I've finally transitioned into a new position that suits my skills quite well and keeps me on my toes. Lord knows, I love that aspect of things and it thrills me.
But wow, steep learning curve! It's a blast so far; I'm about two months in right now. And so far, so good. I'm truly loving it.
But the pace is insane! I arrive in the morning with nothing in my calendar and blammo! It fills up in the blink of an eye with a multitude of meetings and updates and conference calls and planning sessions, and, and, and... you get the drift.
Like I said, be careful what you wish for! But if you're ready for a challenge... wish away!

Monday, June 15, 2015

Microblog Mondays: An Excellent Reminder for Us All

Our dear Mel over at Stirrup Queens has begun a blog phenomenon... as she frequently does. 

Microblog Mondays. Writing in your own space. Something short and sweet. But it's meant to take back our bloggy space and call it our own. I am going to try to do this periodically. Life's hectic. So we'll see how long this lasts.
*********************


I wrote this on Facebook the other day. So many of my friends thought it was a wonderful, sweet anecdote and it needs to be shared. So here you go:


Today was a really warm, sunny day and we had planned to hit a park and a splash pad before running some errands. I put on the ONE pair of shorts that I own and I asked Hubby if he thought I could wear them out and about in public. (Side note: I never wear shorts out in public, only around the house or garden on my own property. I am so terribly self-conscious about my body, even post-surgery after losing 140 lbs. It's horrid.)


Petite overheard Hubby and me talking, and she peeked in the bedroom. Her words moved me.


"Mommy, it doesn't matter about the outside. It's the inside that counts."


One smart girl, right there.


I teared up a little, and hugged her tightly, telling her, "You know, you're absolutely right. Thank you sweetheart. I needed to hear that right now. It DOESN'T matter what anyone thinks, really... does it?"


And yes... I wore the shorts. :)

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Bedtime Looms...

I managed to get in a bike ride today. It was the first time on a bike for me in at least seven or eight years. Probably closer to ten though... truth be known. 

Wow. 10 years. And yet I managed to hop on and ride for 7 km in 32 minutes. That felt great! Mind you it would have felt better if it were a tad warmer. And if the rain hadn't cut my ride short. I had hoped to ride for 45 mins but the cold numbed my fingers and pouring rain was on the horizon so I booked it back to the house. I just pulled in the driveway when the first drops fell. 

I took care of Petite tonight as Hubby was out helping one of my coworkers with his computer. Petite had Sparks and then I got her nighttime routine done before calling my mom, editing a newsletter, figuring out lunch for tomorrow and writing out a menu for the week. Is it bedtime yet? 

Come on Friday!!!