The First Ten Days

The first ten days have been... wow. Just wow. I am exhausted, sleep-deprived, elated and thrilled all at once. It's all been quite a blur in fact. Schedules, feedings, changings, walking the floor as we wait for little tummies to process food and digestive systems to get rid of pesky gas... all that sort of thing. And every moment is worth it.

We were in the hospital for two nights after the baby was born, and on Saturday evening, August 29, 2009, we were told we could go home. I couldn't believe that we would be permitted to leave the hospital with a baby. I've read that other infertiles feel much the same thing when they leave the hospital with their children, but you really don't know what that feels like until you experience it yourself. Much like you can read volumes about what it feels like to give birth to a baby, until you are there, you don't know how it will affect you personally and how YOU will feel or what you will do. Understand, I don't mean to belittle emotions or suggest that there is no capacity for empathy among us. However, experiences -- personal experiences -- are what make us who we are. And it is our own personal experiences that permit us to put ourselves in the place of people who've been there or to determine how we relate.

There have been frustrating moments this week. Petite* isn't latching all that well at the breast. With all the issues that I have (PCOS, hypothyroidism, etc.), I expected that milk production would be the biggest issue that we faced. However, my milk has come in (although not yet in spectacular amounts, but we're getting there) and for that I am extremely glad. Now if I could just get Petite to latch on, that would be superb. Once in awhile she'll latch on and feed for a few moments, but all in all, she's not that interested. I expect part of that is because my milk took four or five days to properly come in and of course, in the interest of needing to feed her, we ended up resorting to formula. She is happy with it, and of course, she doesn't have to work at the bottle like she does at the breast so there's that to deal with too. I did see a lactation consultant while in hospital, and since we've come home, the public health nurse has seen us and we've had an appointment with our family doctor too. All three tell us that we're doing all the right things and not to give up. I'm trying to stay hopeful.

Petite's first outing was to visit the doctor. And true to little girl form, her second outing was to the shopping mall with me, her grandmother and her great-aunt. It was successful; she came home with new outfits! Apparently "she has far too much yellow and green in her closet" and my mom and aunt decided to rectify that ASAP. We now have lots of pink items to add to the lot! And given Petite's small size (weighing 7 lbs 2 oz on Thursday when the public health nurse weighed her), much of her clothing is huge on her! My sister saw some photos and proclaimed, "She looks like she's wearing a sack of potatoes! She's so tiny!" Thus, she also received her first parcel from another great-aunt... new sleepers and onesies in 'Newborn' size that actually fit her. She looks terribly cute in them too. While at the mall, there were a number of people who stopped to admire her and at one point, my mother covered her up in an effort to keep gawkers at bay!

Although she had a bath in the hospital, she's had a first bath at home (and a few others now too!). She's not yet got the hang of the whole night and day thing though; she's frequently dozing through the daylight hours and up all night long! I expected that though, given that she was like that in utero. She kept me awake most nights and I rarely felt her move during the day. I expect she'll eventually get the hang of it though. Sometimes it takes awhile for newborns to regulate that; in the meantime, we're all sleeping in shifts. And none of us is sleeping well! That's for sure.

As I keep saying though, it's early days. And we WILL figure it all out. She's learning, as are we. We'll eventually get the hang of it all. Patience and time and we'll figure it all out.

In the meantime, here are some photos to tide you over. Enjoy. And love to you all in blogland.










*As a side note...
We referred to our little one as Petit in utero. Now that we know we have a daughter, she'll be referred to as 'Petite' hereafter.