Microblog Mondays: Resolutions

Our dear Mel over at Stirrup Queens has begun a blog phenomenon... as she frequently does. 

Microblog Mondays. Writing in your own space. Something short and sweet. But it's meant to take back our bloggy space and call it our own. I am going to try to do this periodically. Life's hectic. So we'll see how long this lasts.

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As the new year is almost upon us, and as we are wont to do as the old year comes to a close, many of us are making resolutions for 2015.

Thanks to WLS this past February, I have achieved my resolution for this year: lose 100 lbs before Christmas. In fact, I have lost 120 lbs (or just beyond that in fact) since January 2014. I am thrilled about that. How many years has my resolution been "lose weight" and this year, with the help of a fantastic tool, I have done it! Quite an achievement really. Hard work, to be sure. Most days, I don't see it at all. I'm glad others do. (I put on a size 10 bathing suit last night and wow, I was shocked!) 

My resolutions for 2015:

• finish losing the weight, and find a 'target' or 'goal' weight that I am happy with. Having no frame of reference for that makes this one tough. I've grappled with it. I still am.
• find peace on the job and home front. I've been living in limbo for years, hoping to find work back at home, and wishing I were elsewhere. I need to resolve this, one way or the other, this year. Either I get the job I have applied for back in NL, or I take a deep breath and find peace with living where I currently do, and make a home for us here. (Notice that I still call The Rock "home"? This is starting to confuse Petite. She has asked me many times why our house here is not "home." Poor girl. I need to focus on her and her life now.)

Thank you for your well wishes on my last post. Christmas was good with my family down in WV at my sister's house. A long drive, to be sure, but well worth it. We had fun and the two kids had a blast. While there, we raised a glass to my eldest cousin; he passed away on December 12, 2014 at the young age of 58. My heart goes out to my uncle; no parent should ever have to bury their child, no matter the age.

Microblog Mondays: Give or Receive?

Our dear Mel over at Stirrup Queens has begun a blog phenomenon... as she frequently does. 

Microblog Mondays. Writing in your own space. Something short and sweet. But it's meant to take back our bloggy space and call it our own. I am going to try to do this periodically. Life's hectic. So we'll see how long this lasts.

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Mel was discussing whether we truly prefer to give than to receive.

My answer? Hell yes. I LOVE to give. I give for the absolute sake of giving. Not ever expecting anything in return. Truthfully, if someone does offer something in return, I feel a sense of embarrassment. Isn't that weird? I have the distinct impression that I am not in the majority or the norm in this.

I love Christmas. I go overboard at Christmas, just because I love to give so very much. Even the neighbours get chocolates and Christmas cards and their kids get presents, even if it's something little. Just because. My coworkers all get cards, and sometimes a little chocolate. I keep extra boxes of candy canes and goodies to give out, just in case. I love, love, love to give.

I don't particularly like to receive, though I confess, there are one or two items this year I truly want to receive (heated blanket, fitbit, and some of my favourite moisturizer are really high on my 'want' list at the moment). Hubby says I need clothing more than those things. He may be right. I have very little in my closet.

Regardless of whether I receive, I just hope that what I do give is good enough. (Seems to be a recurrent theme in my life; "Is it / Am I good enough?"

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For those who may have wondered, I didn't win that little red dress. A shame too. So while out shopping yesterday, I actually took the time to peek around for a little red dress for myself. I found a gorgeous black skirt and a red dress, but I was too afraid to try them on. Shopping for clothing for myself is fraught with a whole boatload of negative emotions at the moment. Baby steps. Baby steps...

A difficult weekend in our house. More on that later as the family doesn't want to reveal details just yet. Suffice it to say, the hits keep on comin'. I am looking forward to getting away for Christmas and seeing my family. Bear with me if I miss a Monday. I'm semi-absent for a week or so. After all, it's Christmas. Merry Christmas all. For your viewing pleasure, Petite wishes you all a very Merry Christmas too!

With the Big Man in Red, Himself. (December 13, 2014)

Microblog Mondays; Favourite Colours

Our dear Mel over at Stirrup Queens has begun a blog phenomenon... as she frequently does. 

Microblog Mondays. Writing in your own space. Something short and sweet. But it's meant to take back our bloggy space and call it our own. I am going to try to do this periodically. Life's hectic. So we'll see how long this lasts.

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Yeah, yeah, I spell "colour" with a "u"... I'm Canadian. Deal. :)

I don't know that I have favourites, per se. I mean, being obese, I've dressed in black and dark colours for so long I don't know if I'd recognize colour if it smacked me in the face! Seriously.

I know that I have a love/hate relationship with reds. My face had a few red tones and I'm auburn-haired with loads of freckles... red is NOT a colour that looks good on me. But I love it in décor; it just POPS and makes you pay attention.

I tend to gravitate to blues and pinks if given the opportunity to choose clothing of colour. I'm fearful of bold colours because, like the red, it makes you pay attention. Attention is something I did not want as an obese female. God knows.

So imagine my surprise and intrigue when on a local Buy Nothing FB exchange site, I found myself throwing my name in the hat to receive a low-cut, sequinned, empire-waisted (size 10, no less!) red, knee-length dress for the Christmas season. I don't expect to get it of course, but wow, for once, I'd like to have something that looks good and gives me a bit of a boost.

Fingers crossed!

Now... I must go comment on some of your blogs. I've been slackin. Admittedly, with my MIL's passing, I've been quite busy this week. And yes, I really need to clean up the dead links in my sidebar! (So many bloggers have fallen off the face of the earth! Quite a shame really.)

Microblog Mondays: RIP to my MIL

Our dear Mel over at Stirrup Queens has begun a blog phenomenon... as she frequently does. 

Microblog Mondays. Writing in your own space. Something short and sweet. But it's meant to take back our bloggy space and call it our own. I am going to try to do this periodically. Life's hectic. So we'll see how long this lasts.

*********************

A sad, and very difficult week in our house.

My MIL passed away last Monday afternoon, in the presence of her husband, her sister, one of her daughters, Hubby, and me.

She retired a few years ago, and had lost a significant amount of weight; I knew something was wrong but she was never fully tested. This past summer, they found a tumor and it was surgically removed, but no follow-up chemo or radiation was forthcoming. (We later found that it had been offered to her, but she turned it down. We question now whether she realized the ramifications of that particular decision. She was suffering from dementia on and off during this time because of the tumor.)

Post-op, she came home and was doing fairly well, but just before our Thanksgiving in early October, she took another turn for the worse and things went rapidly downhill from there. She was in the ICU and then transferred to a hospice. We did not expect her to live to see her 67th birthday on November 20. But she made it. She had asked Hubby for a piece of KFC and a Tim Horton's coffee a couple of days before her birthday and she enjoyed what she could eat of that... (translation: very little of either, but at least it was something).

On Monday past, November 24, 2014, my MIL's husband and a couple of the kids were to meet with the doctors at 3 p.m. to discuss her care and next steps. But that morning, Hubby's youngest sister called to verify that the meeting was still on and she was told, "Your mom's breathing has changed. Someone might want to get here sooner than 3 p.m." Hubby called me around 11:45. As soon as he told me that, I knew. You see, I've been down this road before. I knew exactly what the nurses were telling the family.

I told Hubby, "Hang up the phone. March straight to your boss' office and tell him it's an emergency. You need to leave RIGHT NOW. I will meet you there. Go." I did that as well, and I met him just before 1 p.m. at the doors to the hospice. We had barely over an hour with her; she took her last breath at 2:19 p.m. and amid tears, grief, love and pain, we said our goodbyes. Hubby and I left soon thereafter to get his youngest sister at home, and I stayed with the three young children so that his sis could go to the hospice with him. I called the funeral home and started the ball rolling from the home base. And it's been a whirlwind of a week since.

RIP Nicole. You are loved more than you can know and you will truly, truly be missed.

Our huge thanks to our friends and family who came to the celebration of her life this past Saturday; even our dear friends from Toronto (Pam and V) made the trek and we are ever so grateful. Seeing so many people there to pay their respects made it a little easier to say goodbye.

P.S. Thank you all for your sweet comments, e-mails, and thoughts on my last post about the weight loss and the negative comment I had received. You are all so very kind and I am grateful for your understanding and for your outpouring of love. (What a wonderful virtual world this is.)