She's back. Stupid, haggard old b*tch that I described here.
Hubby and I ran a few errands after work and then I came home and cried my eyes out.
I'm getting tired of all this and I don't know how much more I can take. I really, really don't.
F*ck. When will I ever be good enough?
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Cape Spear, Newfoundland, August 7, 2004 (lighthouse in the background); Contact me at Jiliana2 (at) gmail (dot) com
Thanks to Whitney and Erick
Tell me how my blog has helped, changed or affected you.
The story of a couple who are trying to have a baby. Hubby was previously married, had two children and a vasectomy. In October 2003, a reversal failed so we began by consulting a fertility specialist. The road has been long but we're tenacious. After 27+ IUIs and 6+ years of TTC, our first IVF was successful. Our daughter Petite was born on August 27, 2009. Our quest is fulfilled. And while we hoped to add to the family, we're happy just the way things are right now. Onward and upward!
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Who we are
Cape Spear, Newfoundland, August 7, 2004 (lighthouse in the background); Contact me at Jiliana2 (at) gmail (dot) com
Gil and Hubby are...
Get your infertility ribbon
Thanks to Whitney and Erick
Crème de la crème
Donor Related
- DI Mom (success)
- Donor Conceived Perspectives (donor conceived children)
- Finding Chaos (lesbian couple, triple success!)
- It's a Zoo Around Here (success; inactive)
- Journey to Our Pearl (PWP; success)
- Life as Dad to Donor Insemination Kids (success)
- No swimmers in the tubes (success)
- Seed Monkey's Quest to Become a UK Sperm Donor (inactive)
- So Blessed I Could Scream (success; inactive)
- Square Peg, Round Whole (PW protected)
- The Baby Chase (success with twins; inactive)
- The End of My Line (success; inactive)
- The Road Less Traveled (recent delivery; premature)
- Three Little Birds (success; old blogger, new digs)
- yes, we have no bananas...! (success; inactive)
Donor Campaigns
The Celebratory Society
Tell me how my blog has helped, changed or affected you.
Who's Trying
- A Mommy in the Making... I Hope
- Azoo Who? (male POV; inactive)
- Baby Wanted: Apply Within
- Big P and Me (TTC #2)
- Funny Little Pollywogs
- Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed
- Hope is Ours
- In Due Time
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- Infertility Sucks!
- Jelly's Bean
- Life and Love in the Petri Dish
- Little Bits of Crazy (local; Win a Baby blogger!)
- one day this blog will have a snazzy name (TTC #2)
- Seeking Pink in a House of Blue (TTC girl after 4 boys and m/cs)
- Survive Infertility and Thrive
- The Childless Mom
- The Infertility Voice
- Trying to Conceive
- The Maybe Baby (TTC after cancer and a loss)
- Whitney and Erick
- you're still young!! (technical difficulties!)
P/G Now!
- A Cop, A Nurse, 3 Dogs and Maybe Baby? (p/g with #2)
- Adam and Julia (recent delivery)
- Baby on my Mind
- Eggs in a Basketcase
- I'm not Pregnant, Just Fat (recent delivery!)
- Infertile Fantasies (recent delivery)
- It Could Take Three Months (recent delivery)
- It's Only Life (recent delivery)
- Life From Here (recent premie delivery)
- Little Diiorios
- Mommy Odyssey (recent loss)
- My Vegas (recent delivery!)
- Of Course You'll Get Pregnant
- Project Sibling
- Relaxing Doesn't Get You Pregnant
- The 2 Week Wait
- Trying Not to Scream
- Waiting, Wishing, Hoping
Who's Cycling Now?
Adoption
The Other Side
- A Little Pregnant
- A New Dawn
- Alice in Diaperland
- Alphabet Soup (triplets)
- Baby Interrupted
- Baby Smiling in Back Seat
- Barren Mare
- Beauty for Ashes (single mom; widowed)
- Candid Confessions of a Southern Princess
- Circus Acts
- Conceive This
- Dead Cow Girl
- Don't Rain on My Parade: IVF Part 2 (inactive)
- Everyday Stranger
- Family Rocks: The Life of Peg
- Finding Moe (local; previously "To Infertility and Beyond")
- Grizzly Eggs
- Hopeful Mother (PWP)
- I Can't Whistle
- I Want to be a Daddy (male POV)
- Into the Womb
- IVF due to MFI
- Jack at Random (stillbirth of #2; male POV)
- Just One More (inactive)
- Mixing It Up; Trying to Find My New Reality
- Mommyhood After Fertility Frustration
- Mrs Negative
- Musings of a Hormonal Egg Basket
- No Matter How Small
- Of Course You'll Get Pregnant (inactive; moved)
- Only half nuts
- Pregnancy Envy (inactive)
- Reproductive Jeans
- Serenity Now (inactive)
- Spermination Station
- Sprogblogger
- Square Peg, Round Whole (PW protected)
- Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters
- Sweet & Crunchy (old blogger, new digs)
- Telling a Different Story (child-free)
- Thalia's Fertility Journey
- The 2 Week Wait
- The Baby Chase (twins; inactive)
- The Kir Corner
- The Road Less Travelled (child-free living)
- The Rylan Reader
- Too Many Fish to Fry
- We Make 3 (PWP)
- What IF? (triplets)
Followers
Ottawa Weather
References and Links
- 10 Biggest Pregnancy Myths Debunked
- Gil's Temp Chart
- Gil's (and hubby's) Tests and Results
- Infertility Acronyms and Terminology
- Estradiol Conversion
- Baby Steals (One day only super deals!)
- Kid Steals (One day only, super deals!)
- Zulily (Deals on baby and kids' items)
- Free-Range Kids
- Kids in the Capital
- IF Haiku
- Cycle Sista
- Infertility Blog (Dr. Licciardi)
- "Just Adopt"?? No such thing...
- Lost and Found Connections
- ParentDish Canada
- Well Rounded Mama
- Why Infertility Should be Covered by Insurance
- Women's Hormone Levels and Fertility Bloodwork (US units)
Meds and Tests
- Pre-natal vitamin
- Metformin 500 mg (now at 1500 mg)
- Synthroid 50 mcg (hypothyroid meds)
- Estrace
- Medrol
- Doxycycline (antibiotics)
- PIO injections (Intra-muscular)
- Buserelin (same as Lupron) 50 for downregulation
- Gonal-F 225 IU
- Luveris 75 IU
- Glucose Tolerance & Insulin Resistance
- Karotyping
- Laparoscopy
- Cyst Aspiration via ultrasound
- CD3, CD23 bloodwork
- HSG (x2)
- Birth control pills (to eliminate cyst and for IVF
- Low-dose Aspirin
- Progesterone 200mg; beginning after IUI, for 2WW
- Clomid 50 mg; CD 3-7
- Puregon (sub-cue injects, 50 and 100 ius)
Been There, Done That; what we've tried since 2003
- 2010/12 - Looking into another IVF/ICSI for a sibling for Petite
- 2009/08/27 - PETITE ARRIVES! We have a girl!
- 2008/12 - IVF #1; Retrival (7 eggs on Dec. 2) and Transfer (3 embryos on Dec. 5), BFP December 18!!
- 2008/11 - Cyst Aspiration via ultrasound (Nov. 21); IVF meds begun
- 2008/10 - Began BCP for IVF #1; ER date, Dec. 1
- 2008/06-09 - continuing appointments and prep for IVF
- 2008/05 - TSH testing and follow up with Ottawa RE
- 2008/04 - met with another RE in Ottawa; changed meds (1500 mg Metformin, 50 mcg Synthroid)
- 2008/03 - met with urologist in Montréal, insulin resistance, karotyping and CD3 bloodwork
- 2008/02 - meet with RE in Montréal for IVF
- 2008/01 - last bloodwork in prep for IVF consultation
- 2007/08-12 - TTC on hold, no meds, bloodwork
- 2007/07 - dIUI $5 (last chance!); BFN
- 2007/06 - dIUI #4 (new donor); BFN
- 2007/04-05 - dIUI #2 & #3; BFN
- 2006/12 - 2007/03 - TTC on hold; Christmas in Florida, no meds, CD3 & CD23 bloodwork
- 2006/11 - dIUI #1 with Clomid + Puregon; BFN
- 2006/06-10 - IUIs with aspirated sperm, 1st cycle with Clomid
- 2006/05 - IUI; chemical and m/c
- 2006/04 - Lap performed; no endometriosis, HSG good, cyst removed normally
- 2006/02-04 - Lap postponed; surgeon's emergency
- 2005/10 - 2006/02 - TTC on hold pending lap
- 2005/10 - Surgeon #2 for lap; agreed! Scheduled for 2006/02
- 2005/09 - Surgeon #1 for lap; refused to operate
- 2005/08 - BC pills to eliminate cyst; not successful
- 2004/10 - 2005/08 - IUI continued with Metformin & HSG triggers (cyst still visible)
- 2004/09 - IUI #1 with aspirated sperm; chemical and m/c
- 2004/08 - WEDDING!
- 2004/03-05 - HSG, Bloodwork testing; normal results
- 2004/02 - First consult with RE; cyst visible
- 2004/01 - Semenanalysis yields 0 sperm count
- 2003/10 - Hubby's vasectomy reversal
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8 comments:
I'm so sorry Gil. :(
Gil, I am so sorry.
I'm very sorry.
I am so sorry Gil.
Sending you a big ((((hug))))
I'm so sorry
I'm sorry Gil, this is so so crappy. Have beer on me, or three, or more...
I'm really sorry. :(
I feel so sad for you. You need something good to happen..and it has to soon.
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