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Thursday, June 14, 2007

Two Years

Today is June 14, 2007. It is my friend's daughter's 10th birthday today; she's finally entering the "double digit" years. I'll call her later and I'm hoping to take her out with hubby's kids next weekend to a movie and to have the kids over for a swim.

Today is June 14, 2007. On this date in 1996, my paternal grandmother passed away suddenly while I was in Japan teaching. She had been in a home for some time, afflicted with Alzheimer's. When I last saw her at Christmas in 1995, she didn't recognize me although I was able to hold her hand and tell her that I loved her. I was unable to attend the funeral; I regret that to this day. I regret that I never got to say goodbye.

Today is June 14, 2007. I had my first IUI in September 2004, and it ended with a miscarriage between 4 and 5 weeks. Had it held, I would have had a two-year old child today. Two years ago today, June 14, 2005, was my due date. But it didn't hold; my arms are still empty. And I am beginning to doubt that it was ever meant to be.

8 comments:

decemberbaby said...

Due dates are so hard... and so is evidence that time is passing, and to have it feel like time is passing you by... well, you get lots of hugs and cookies from me.

I'm pretty sure that 90% of us IF gals feel at some point like it's never going to happen for us, but as we know, it will actually happen for many of those people. Just saying that the way you feel now in no way actually influences whether you'll get your baby or not. I'm praying that you will.

Tammy said...

Oh, you are making me cry. I can only imagine how I'll feel when October 14, 2007, what would've been my due date, rolls around. Life really sucks sometimes and, yet, we hang on because somewhere there's hope. Here's hoping it happens for both of us before we're too damn old!
Tammy
xo

Aurelia said...

Oh Gil, I'm so sorry this day is here. Crap, crap....

I'm sending you a great big hug today. In fact, take two.

Vee said...

I am sorry Gil, these dates are so hard.

I am hoping next June 14 you will celebrating some good news.

Take care

sariel & shlomit said...

sorry the 14th was such a hard date...i too think of you often, particularly during the long wait...
i'm rooting for you, even if quietly!
peace
shlomit

Nearlydawn said...

So sad, all those things piling up on one date. I hope you find some peace in today.

I appreciate the comment you left today. It meant a lot to me.

If you were nearby I would give you a hug - sounds like we each need it right now.

Heather said...

I'm so sorry I'm late reading...

I'm sorry for your heartache. I will continue to hope that those arms fill up very soon.

Jason and Samantha said...

((HUGS)) I can understand. November is a hard month for me.. I would also have a two year old.

(((BIG BIG HUGS)))