Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is my birthday. Lucky 38. I didn't want to celebrate this one at all; you know what they say about a woman's fertility after the age of 38 right? Yeah. Well, I dreaded this day. I still don't want it to be today, you know? I wish I could make yesterday an indefinite duration and just stay at 37. Never hitting that magical number that supposedly determines when a woman's fertility decreases. Wouldn't THAT be nice. Oh well. C'est la vie. Welcome to 38 Gil. *tries it on for size*

Meh. It ain't so bad... cause yesterday I got word about my TSH.








TSH = 2.0



WOO HOOO!!!!!

I could have kissed the RE right then and there when I saw those results yesterday afternoon. In his opinion, we are good to go. So today I called Montréal and booked two appointments: one for our follow up with the RE there and to sign the necessary consent forms, and give payments, and the second appointment to attend an information session (mandatory... though I think I could GIVE the darn thing at this point) and then to establish our IVF calendar. The only issue with that is that given that we can't start right away (I could have theoretically taken BCP for my next cycle for suppression), we will be delayed further because I will be away in August so we need to work around those dates. We'll figure it out.

Still. All in all, it's a decent birthday gift. I'll take it.

Crossing My Fingers

I've got a stressful day all in all. Meetings at work, some training later this afternoon, and the day is capped with an appointment with the Ottawa-based RE. A follow-up for my TSH levels.

Either we get the "all clear" to proceed with IVF, or my TSH is still too high and we increase the dosage of Levothyroxine again, wait another month and more bloodwork.

I'm really glad I have my first appointment with a Registered Massage Therapist later this evening. Either way, I think I am going to need it.

Wish me luck.

Messages to Others

I haven't posted much lately. I simply haven't been up to it as I'm trying to deal with some personal frustrations and yes, even anger. Instead, a few messages to others.

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For E who will be seeing Dr. C here in the area, good luck to you. I hope the info I passed along helps. Keep me posted. Please.

For R & G on the other side of the globe; I'm so glad things worked for you both! I know you don't keep a blog but I am really glad that you found mine and I hope you know that so many of us are here to help/support if you need it.

For A_G who wrote to me towards the end of March... oh yes! Best money ever to consult an infertility psychologist. I recommend it to anyone. I'm glad hubby and I finally got the chance.
And yes, I'd read about the PICC lines but I could never do that. I am weak just typing this sentence. You see, the thought of a needle piercing my skin makes me wig out; the faint possibility that it STAYS IN THERE just ... well... I'm lucky I'm still vertical right now!It's NOT an option for me. Remember, this is me: the woman who pulled out her own IV after surgery cause I'd had ENOUGH of that crap.

To Shlomit: the recent post you made about some sort of acceptance resonated with me. I wish I could have given you a hug for that one. I could have written it.

For Reproductive Jeans: The Birthday post made me shed many tears. I wept alongside you I think. Thank you for the poignancy of that post.

Max and Vee, I am always, always, thinking of you both and the trials and tribulations you are going through. I can't make it better. But I can say I am with you in spirit.

For Bea: Congratulations on the birth of your baby boy! I am so pleased for you, and yes, jealous too! Enjoy these moments to the fullest.

My update? I have none. I have an appointment with a doctor next week here in my hometown regarding my latest blood test to check TSH levels. That will tell us what the next course of action is. More news next week.

And as for the Canadian blogger get together... I don't know when that will happen. Seems that schedules just don't align very well unfortunately. I don't envisage going too far afield until I get to go to Vegas in August. But if perchance someone else spearheads a get-together in TO, post and let me know please.

I hope your week is better than mine folks. Love to all.

A Post from The Rock

I'm back home for 10 days, visiting my family. And what do I see falling from the skies yesterday but snow. That's right ladies and gentlemen. Freakin' snow. Lovely. Glad I brought my winter coat. I guarantee you, I needed it.

We went out yesterday to see some of the hundreds of icebergs that have been spotted along the coast. In fact, we managed to get some iceberg ice that had been washed ashore. After cleaning it and chopping it up, I had some with a rum and coke. Well worth the trouble, in my opinion. And in all my years, that was the first time I'd had the opportunity to taste iceberg ice, even though we were surrounded by the stuff every spring when I lived here. A first time for everything, right?

My thoughts are with my gaming friend, MH as he drives from California to Virgina to take a new job. His wife and 5-year old twins will be back in CA until later this year; she continues to work and keep their health insurance until his kicks in and she and the kids can move to VA as well. If all goes well, he'll be on the east coast by next weekend. Fingers crossed.

And even more thoughts are with my friend back in Ottawa. Tomorrow is K's jaw surgery to remove the cancer that is present. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed and checking in with them tomorrow night. Until then, I worry. Hopefully we'll have test results soon.

I made it through M Day on Sunday too. With each passing year, I seem to dread it more. This year, it's made a little easier because I'm with my own mom. At least I can have that. A bonus too this year: AF arrived ON that precise day. Go me. *sigh*

To Do List

After a great first consult with Dr. G, she recommended that I do a few things to prepare for the upcoming IVF in Montréal.

1. Look into some pilates (or yoga). She mentioned that many of us infertiles work off our frustrations at the gym. I know I definitely do that. But after IVF, protocol sometimes requires bedrest and no strenuous exercise. So I need to find other outlets. Pilates and breathing techniques might be a great way to do that.
2. Look into massage therapy. Also a great technique to relax. I have a good friend who is a registered massage therapist; she'll be getting a call from me. She'll be glad to have a new client.
3. Ask the clinic in Montréal (or here) about acupuncture. As I know through my own research, it's best done immediately before or after transfer, so I'd prefer to find someone in Montréal. Must see about that.

She also indicated that yes, I have a number of stressors in my life that are, well, overwhelming. I asked, "I don't know if I have more going on in that respect than others who are in my position..." and her immediate reply was a wide-eyed, "Oh yes. Definitely." She knows this because she reads this blog. So she understands about the friend who is ill. The friend who just moved in. The health issues I'm still dealing with (hypothyroidism and insulin resistance). The issues with my folks. The craziness at the office. And more.

So I think that researching these three things and following through with them will help me learn to de-stress a bit (yes, I'm an admitted stress-junkie) and work through all of the anger that I still have about this process taking so long, and doctors not listening to my concerns.

It was good to talk. There's more of that to come.

Oh yeah, and for hubby having said that, "This doesn't affect me as much as you," he never shut up! *laughs* I think he needs to talk to someone too. This affects us both, and while I may need more time with Dr. G than he does, I think he needs that outlet as well.

Concert Review

For those curious, the show was amazing.

The Police took us back in time to 1983 and made me feel like a teenager again. Andy Summers was able to coax perfect notes and riffs from guitars that must be older than me; some of them were wooden and their paint had been worn off long ago! Sting's voice was right on the money; he hit the notes with absolute precision and inserted even the ad-lib bits in the same points that they appear on their albums. In many respects, Stewart Copeland stole the show. While he is not only the drummer for the band, also supplying a healthy dose of percussion instruments in a variety of songs, he also oozed energy and that was infectious.

Just the three of them on stage made me stand in amazement. These days, when you see bands tour, they add percussionists, additional vocalists, keyboards, synthesizers and digital remixers and all the bells and whistles that they supposedly believe enhances the music as performed on their albums. None of that. This was The Police in all their glory. And they were stupendous. They replicated their music with perfection.

And then I marvelled at the gear and layout. Everything right down to the ripped white muscle shirt that Sting wore, the jacket-style shirt Andy had on, and the trademark headband that Stewart sported screamed 1980s. But did you really believe they would have done otherwise?! I thought not. And it added to the charm and nostalgia of their stage presence.

Off the top of my head, I can tell you that they performed Roxanne, Every Breath You Take, De Doo Doo Doo De Dah Dah Dah, Don't Stand So Close to Me, Invisible Sun, Wrapped Around Your Finger, Synchronicity, Every Little Thing She Does is Magic and more of their classic hits.

In fact, a treat for you. This is hubby's filming of King of Pain. Enjoy.

*I should clarify, hubby bought tickets in the 2nd row of the 100 level section of seats, not directly on the floor. Quite all right by me; this way I was JUST above the heads of everyone on the floor in front of us. It afforded a lovely view. Except of course for the semi-drunk middle 50s man in front of us clapping wildly. Oh well. We still had a marvelous night!