I'm Still Processing All This... 12 Weeks Tomorrow

While there is really nothing going on, I sat down to sort of make a quick list of things I could fill you guys in on, and look! There’s all kinds of things to tell you about!

A quick update on Petit; I went for part 1 of the IPS last Friday and unfortunately Petit was too petit! You need a minimum of 4.5 cms and Petit measured 4.3 cms so I have another appointment later this week. Not to worry; everything is okay and I’ll be able to get the first part of the IPS done on Friday if all goes well.

On the symptom front, in the past week, I’m finding my teeth are super sensitive now. I don’t gag or anything (as I know some women do when they brush their teeth) but I feel my gums are just hyper sensitive to the touch and rubbing the toothbrush over them repeatedly has got to be akin to water.boarding! Bugger me! But there’s nothing I hate more than bad breath or feeling that my teeth aren’t cleaned, so I wince and bear it.

On the whole, the nausea seems to be subsiding. I rarely get up and think, “Oh dear Lord, let me puke now to get this outta my system!” But lemme tell ya, there are days when I sure wish I could! I’ve not had the pleasure of actually tossing my cookies during this pregnancy (knock on wood), but the waves of nausea making me wish that I COULD toss my cookies are frequent! Now, most days are pretty good, but once in awhile, ugh! I wish I could just get rid of the icky feeling.

And what the heck is up with my face!? This morning, I awoke with tiny red spots on my right cheek. On first glance in the mirror, I thought it looked like acne, but when I touched my skin, it was as smooth as always. Broken capillaries maybe? I dunno. The old wives’ tale about having a bad complexion during pregnancy means you are having a girl came to mind… but I don’t really believe in that, to be honest. I’m not sure what it is, but it is fading as the day progresses. Whew.
And looking in that same mirror this morning, I see grey hair peeking through. Horrid stuff! I’m on the verge of needing to colour my hair yet again and I’ll have to seek out a semi-permanent with no ammonia that is safe for me to use. I refuse to go through pregnancy with grey hair; not when there ARE solutions that work! Thank heavens for small favours!

I’m finding that my ‘girls’ are feeling tighter in my bra too and downright itchy! Eeek! Now, fair enough, with the harsh winters we have, my skin tends to be on the dry side at this time of year anyway. But no amount of moisturizer seems to give me relief right now! Hubby figures they’re stretching and growing and he might be right. Time to invest in a new bra and/or some other brand of moisturizing lotion to help I think.

One thing that has not been good to me during this pregnancy (TMI incoming… you’ve been warned!) my bowels! Dear Lord deliver me! I beg! The old standbys of increasing water intake and ensuring you get enough fibre in your diet are just NOT working! Honest. I must eat my weight in veggies and fruits (with legumes thrown in for good measure) every single day, but oh my heavens, nothing but continued use of a little docusate is helping me keep things moving at the moment. It’s not pretty. I’ve heard that giving birth is much like having the largest bowel movement in your life. I gotta say, if that’s the case, then I’ve had sufficient practice in the last two weeks! NO JOKE!

Tomorrow, I hit the 12-week mark and technically that’s three months, but of course, I’ll be into my second trimester sometime next week, knowing that the average pregnancy is 40 weeks long. Still, it sort of feels like a milestone and I am grateful to get this far. By now, a number of my co-workers already know and there are only a few pertinent people left to tell I think. Everyone seems so happy for us; I wish I could get to that point myself and enjoy whatever time I get, and just give in to “Hope” for a little while that everything will work out. You know? I wish I was normal in that respect. It’s hard though. I’m sort of letting everyone else carry that hope for me at the moment. They’re doing a great job though! I did go so far as to buy a pregnancy journal to write down some thoughts and things. I remember in my 20s, going through some musings, old cards and things that people had given my mom when she was pregnant with me. I want to give that to my baby too, and I want it as a record for myself as well. I told my best friend Mike that I was doing that, and his reply was “How eccentric! Hand written!” He’s right too. I want more than an electronic version of my pregnancy to give to my child. A shame that not many people do that anymore. There’s a question for you: Do you? Did you? Do you have any hand written notes, items, books, thoughts, whatever… that you are keeping for your baby? Something that isn’t electronic? I’m curious. Tell me what you think.

I have started peeking at the features on cribs, play yards, strollers, etc. and making some decisions on the things and styles we’ll be looking for when the time comes. There’s so much out there to choose from! What a vast array of items for infants! It’s incredible. I’m sort of hoping to go shopping with my mom and my sister for a few things; it may be the only time we get to do this so I want to make the most of it. Besides, their input is welcome and wanted, even though final decisions obviously rest with me and hubby.

Speaking about input, I’ve looked to my family (and hubby’s) for lists of names as we want to give due consideration to all family names available, plus the few names that we have chosen ourselves that do not belong to family members. I told my mom last week that we aren’t going to reveal the names we’ve picked until the baby is born, nor are we going to find out the sex of the baby before birth. My mom was totally aghast, “What? You mean I don’t even get to hear the names you’ve picked?! But what if I don’t like them!?” Um… sorry Mom; you had your shot with me and my sister. Now it’s our turn. If you don’t like the names, c’est la vie. But that’s the way it is and we want it this way. Go with it.
You can relax though; I guarantee you will like the names. Promise. Trust me on this one. Please?

I’ve booked a flight to go home in early April; I’ll be about 19/20 weeks while I’m there. And I believe Mom’s sort of hoping to organize a little get-together (aka ‘shower’) for the few friends and friends of the family that I still know back home. One of these people is a girlfriend of my sister’s, who has been struggling with infertility for years now. I’m not entirely sure what treatments she and her husband have pursued, but I know they’ve been approved to adopt from China and they expect a baby in 2010 or 2011. It’s tough for anyone back at home, because there is no facility in the province to help infertile couples; you have to fly to Nova Scotia (at least!) for treatments and that’s a heckuva burden to bear on top of infertility. Anyway, I know that my sis told her that I am pregnant, and of course, being so close to our family, we’ll certainly invite her to any prospective ‘shower’ type event (Dear Lord, no silly games. Please. I beg.) It’s so important for me to let her know though that I understand COMPLETELY if she would prefer not to attend and that even if she intends to come and replies to the invitation stating so, that if she changes her mind at the very last second, I GET IT. I wouldn’t wish that sort of pain and grief on anyone, knowing what I’ve had to do in the past five years to protect myself on occasion. So I need her to know that it’s okay. We love her and it’d be sweet to see her there, but if she can’t do it, that’s okay. I'm probably one of the very few that understands what that can be like.

I talked to my aunt on the phone the other day; I asked what she was doing. She replied, “Sewing. Hand sewing.” (She was a professional seamstress/tailor before she retired and the woman can make anything, I’m convinced!) I asked, “Oh, what’re you sewing?” “I can’t tell you,” came the reply. I gave a little grin. I hope it’s a baby quilt; she’s always done baby quilts for anyone we know who is having a baby. I’m just hoping against hope that I’ll get one too for Petit.

Things at work are settling down. There’s an old Japanese saying that the nail that sticks out gets hammered down. Right now, we’re all trying to keep our heads down so we don’t get the hammer. It’s tense, to be sure. And each week that goes by, I say to myself, “One more week closer to maternity leave,” as if that’s my saving grace. I know it’s not, but still. Some days, it’s the best way to get through the day, you know?

I’m still playing EverQuestII and loving it, but there are some days that my nausea just won’t let me sit in front of the computer screen and look at particles, moving characters, dynamic mobs and all the rest. I know my sister-in-law (who gave birth just after Christmas) had to stop getting on the computer altogether for her first few months of her pregnancy because of her morning sickness! So far, I’ve avoided that, but I am being careful, because there is the odd night when the thought of logging in game turns my stomach! And NOT because I hate the game.

Good news from Canada’s capital though: the bus strike over! We’re still figuring out the logistics because hubby’s bus still isn’t running (not til mid-March apparently, and some buses won’t get back til mid-April!) but for now, we’re trying a few different things so that I am not doing the commute from hell anymore. That’s a huge relief. First time in 62 days that I’ve been at work before 7:15 and I LOVE it. Whew. I might actually get back to the gym!!!

The sun is getting warmer, the snowpack on my lawn seems to be melting a bit and I have daydreams of swimming in my pool again before Petit arrives. I know that winter isn’t over yet and we’re sure to get a snowstorm or two for good measure as the season winds down and spring begins to grace our corner of the world. Still though, it’s nice to hope that it isn’t too far off. In the meantime, I’m thinking of the poor souls in Australia who are succumbing to the extreme heat there right now and I wish there was something I could do. My heart goes out to them.

My heart goes out to my hubby too. He’s been so good to me during this pregnancy. He’s made sure I don’t do any shoveling, or heavy lifting. He takes care to do my injections on time (I’ve decided to do the PIO every two days now). He makes the greatest meals and makes sure I’m comfortable. I love him so much. Last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, I opened my eyes and looked up at my husband as he was reading in bed. I remember reaching out to touch his arm and I murmured, “I love you. You’re going to be a great Dad.” I have total faith that I’m right on that one; he’s going to be the most amazing Dad. And I can’t wait to see it.