Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Other Shoe


Fuck fuck.

Fuckity fuck fuck.

I don't know what to say right now.

Last week at my OB appointment, I was told that based on the results of the IPS, they would get back to me in two weeks (thus, negative screen and nothing to worry about) or, they would get back to me in one week (thus, positive screen, and cause for worry).


I heard from them today.

Based solely on my age, and no other factors, I would be 1:120 for the risk of Down Syndrome.

Something in my bloodwork has increased my odds; I'm standing at 1:50. That's a 2% chance.

I'm terrified. And I'm supposed to call genetic counselling tomorrow to make an appointment for an amniocentesis at the local children's hospital.

Fuckity fuck fuck. I just knew the other shoe would drop. I can't think. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can barely breathe. I am absolutely terrified and I don't know where to turn...


Mo and Will said...

Ugh. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this news. Remember that it is most likely a scare = and that your chances are still 1:50 - which means 98% chance things are normal. But still. of course you're freaking out. deep breaths and just one foot in front of the other until you get more info.

do you read white picket fence's blog? she just went through something similar and everything turned out ok. might be helpful just to talk yourself down a bit.

thinking of you and wishing the very very best.


Heather said...

I'm so sorry. The last thing you needed was more stress.

Praying for you guys.

OHN said...

If I had a dollar for every one of my friends (and myself included) that had to go through the sheer terror of genetic counseling...well, I would be rich.

Truthfully, even without knowing any details, I would feel very safe betting that all is fine. For some reason the doctors feel the need to cover their asses at every turn...hence putting you through the emotional ringer.

Please stay positive, all will be fine.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you.

ultimatejourney said...

Shit. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. The odds are still very much in your favor. But I know that won't quell your fears. Thinking of you.

Vee said...

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. I have everything crossed that you fall on the 98% side of things.

Pam said...

Crap. V and I are here and thinking of you both. As V said, the stress is the last thing you need. Praying for you that all is well.

Dramalish said...

Even if the numbers are right, you have a 49:1 chance of everything being just fine.

And that's if they're right.

I'm sorry for this stress. I'm praying that your load is lightened somehow very soon.

Everything will be OK. No matter what. It will.

Caro said...

Thinking of you

Mick said...

I'm thinking of you...

Stress is a bitch...

Aurelia said...

You know I know how all this works...frankly I'm not worried, but if you would like to talk, I can lead you through how all this works. Likely, you don't have an issue with Down's, but it could be some thing like a placental issue which can be fixed at this early stage.

Email me with your phone number and we can talk. K?

serenity said...

Thinking of you, hon.



Somewhat Ordinary said...

Your certainly don't need more stress, but the 98% chance nothing is wrong are good odds.

Anonymous said...

I'm really sorry. I went through the same thing (odds 1:51) and it turned out fine -- but it was very scary. I was not offered FISH results from the amnio, which come back in 24 hours, and when I asked they told me they didn't have that option at all at that hospital, but I stamped my foot and absolutely INSISTED, and I got them -- and it made the whole thing much easier to get a good sense of the answer in one day, rather than waiting two weeks.
Wishing you the best.

Queenie. . . said...

I'm sorry you're going through this stress. Be kind to yourself this weekend, and try to keep the positive stat's in the mind (next to impossible, I know).

princessoftides said...

Found you via LFCA. I'm so sorry you're going through this anxiety. I have been there, and ended up on the wrong side of the numbers, so although everyone is different I do have some sense of what you're going through.

Mainly what I would tell you right now is to breathe, and take one moment at a time. Your chances are very, very good that nothing is wrong. Imagine a room full of fifty people, and only one of them sits down. You'd hardly notice, right? That's a lot of people standing up.

Hang in there. And if you'd like to talk anytime, just shoot me an email.