Preparations Continue

It's 6:15 a.m. and I've been up for more than an hour. Typically, during the week that's perfect because I need to haul myself to work. However, this is Sunday morning and I ought to be dozing away the morning in bed. Alas, Petit has other thoughts: "Ha ha Mom, I'm awake and moving around in here, so you're going to be awake too!" Thus, I'm up. Obliging of me huh?

Much like Vee's recent post though, I love it. I love these moments when Petit and I are alone. No one else gets to experience this and I cherish that immensely. I get to lay my hands on my belly and feel Petit's legs rolling back and forth. I poke back when I feel a knee jab at me and I smile to myself. I rub underneath my ribs when Petit's toes dig in and I enjoy the knowledge that Petit is growing well and that I'm doing everything I possibly can to bring a healthy baby into this world. In a few short weeks, with luck, we'll get to meet Petit in person and I'll get to touch those legs, knees and toes. I'll get to feel Petit's fingers grasp mine. I'll get to kiss Petit's little face and I know I'll shed tears for days on end. I realize how blessed we are to get this far, and how lucky I am to get to feel the things that I am feeling right now. Make no mistake about it. There are only a few more weeks to go and I intend to continue to enjoy every single moment.

At last week's appointment, everything went perfectly. Petit's heartrate was 140. I'm measuring right on track. My BP was 136/80, no glucose or protein in my urine, and I've gained a few more pounds for a total increase of 7 pounds so far. Hopefully that will plateau soon! The doctor did the Group B Step swab and I'll get the results at next week's appointment. I HAVE to hope that it's negative; that would ease my mind terribly. Also at next week's appointment, I get to have another ultrasound! The OB indicated that because of my age, they'd like to get another look at Petit and the placenta to ensure that everything is going well. Given that I'll be 37 weeks and 2 days at my next appointment, thus full term, if there are any issues (and we hope that there aren't), we could move forward with whatever we need to in order to deliver Petit safely. One day at a time, one hurdle at a time, one issue at a time. That is how I continue to approach this entire experience and while I do not want to have any sort of induction or, heaven forbid, a scheduled c-section, if the placenta is aging too rapidly and not providing Petit with what the baby needs, then Petit would be safer on the outside. I'll cross that bridge when, and if, I come to it.

On Wednesday evening, hubby and I had an appointment to ensure that our car seat is properly installed. We spent a few hours at Saje's house in the south end of the city and I must say, we learned a LOT from her! She recognizes that she is a bona fide "car seat diva" as with a few kids of her own, she's gone through at least 26 different car seats through the years! She definitely knows her stuff! I'm keeping her phone number because after the baby hits the 22 lb mark, we'll need to upgrade our seat and she'll be able to advise us about what's available at the time and what would be best given baby's height and weight and all of that.

We talked to Saje about a variety of topics. Along the way, we shared some of our story with her and spoke of our experiences at McGill in Montreal. Interestingly enough, she's considered being an egg donor through McGill; I do so hope for her that it works out. It's so wonderful to know that there are loving, giving people out there in this world who would give of themselves (literally!) to help people have a family. I will continue to cross my fingers that it all goes smoothly for her.

I also shared my concerns with Saje about the issues I foresee when breastfeeding. Given that I have both hypothyroidism and PCOS (which are both linked to supply problems; great huh?!), I am doing everything that I can right now to ensure that milk supply is not an issue when Petit arrives. For those who may not know the details, by continuing to take the metformin for the PCOS and by continuing to check and adjust my synthroid for the hypothyroidism, I am doing the right things to make sure that I have enough milk for Petit after the baby is born. That said, Saje gave me the name of a lactation consultant. I need to give her a call in the next day or two to see if she will be available around Petit's due date. I know too there are supposedly consultants on staff at the hospital but getting an appointment isn't always the easiest task, apparently. That only happens with referral from a nurse in the maternity ward. So I'll play it safe and see if I can book something on my own if I can.

This weekend is a long weekend in Ontario so Monday is a holiday. I opted to take Friday off as well and I am so glad that I did. It's been lovely to have a few days to relax. Okay, okay, so I don't do much relaxing; hubby and I spent Friday running a few errands and repainting Petit's room. I love the new colour! We picked one of the new Behr colours (paint and primer in one); it's called Caribbean Sunrise and it really makes Petit's room look like a baby's room now. I can't wait to hang the curtains in there later today and fix it all up again. I'll post pics when it's all done. Promise.

Two things to note among my friends in the blogging world this week:

Mick and his wife (Wanna Be Dad) welcomed little Zofia on July 31! She is just gorgeous; go peek at his blog for photos.
And after trying IVM last year, Journey (who blogs elsewhere) and her husband E got a positive Beta last week with their first IVF through McGill. They're going on holiday down east so her ultrasound will be pushed to August 21. I have a wonderful feeling about this and I'm grinning from ear to ear for them both!

Group B Strep Nervousness (36w)

Here I sit, at 36 weeks and a bit and I'm wondering if I'll ever stop being nervous about this pregnancy. There's always something in my head worrying me and causing doubt. It's so easy for fertiles to say, "Oh, don't worry. Your body will do what is right. You need to have confidence in yourself and your body's ability to do (insert task here)."

I call bullsh*t. You and I both know that as infertiles, we're always second-guessing ourselves. I mean seriously, after 6+ years of TTC before IVF worked for us, my body didn't do anything right, now did it?! And to ask me to throw that away and just believe that "Oh yeah, everything will be great!" is downright stupid if you ask me.
Maybe I'm far too educated about infertility for my own damn good. Suffice it to say, I am not a 'patient' patient; the docs hate to see me coming, I'm sure.

So that brings me to tomorrow's OB appointment and the Group B strep test. I'm not nervous about having the test done per se, but rather about the possibility of the test coming back positive. I DON'T WANT THAT AT ALL.
Why?
Because as we all know, a positive Group B strep test means that I'll need *shudders* an IV and antibiotics (every 4 hours!!) during delivery (assuming I get that far in this journey). Honestly. THAT scares the bejeezus outta me.

How on earth am I going to be able to 'relax' and 'let my body do what it needs to' when I'm in constant pain from an IV shoved in my arm?! That isn't gonna fly well with me folks. Nosiree bub. You all know how terrified I am of needles and IVs and all that, so if I'm tethered or even if I have a hep lock in, there's no way I'm going to be relaxed. It just cannot happen. The pain that it entails is just excruciating; it's like a constant knife in my skin. It will want to make me throw in the towel. In my view, for me personally (not for everyone!), the necessity for an IV in my arm means I may as well give up entirely and go for full induction, pitocin, epidural, hell... go right to C-section why don't we?! It's all equivalent in my brain. And unfortunately, I'm not joking. The spiral of intervention for me will begin with an IV and I'm absolutely terrified, TERRIFIED of it. So if you are the praying, wishing, hoping kind, please hope that everything I've been doing (see the NOTE below) over the last few weeks will help ensure that my Group B strep test comes back negative. Anything to avoid that IV. PLEASE. I beg.

Last night, hubby and I attended a breastfeeding class at the hospital where we'll be going when the time comes. I didn't learn a whole lot, but I figured it would give me an opportunity to ask the questions I needed to about hypothyroidism and PCOS being linked to supply issues when breastfeeding. The instructor was a retired maternity ward nurse and while I'm sure she was very knowledgeable, she certainly isn't skilled as a facilitator! Were we ever glad to say goodnight and scoot outta there at 10 p.m.! Whew!

This weekend is an extra long weekend. Monday is a holiday in Ontario and I've elected to take Friday off as well, so I'm looking forward to a few days of down time. Next week on August 7, hubby and I celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary. My sister's anniversary is August 14 and that's also my last day of work. Mom and my aunt arrive the week after that on August 22 and of course, Petit is due on August 25. Less than four weeks to go. We're getting excited at the prospect of meeting this little one whose toes are firmly ensconced in my ribcage!

Wishing Mo and Will lots of love as they have seen a heartbeat!
And to Mick and his wife who are on the verge of welcoming their little one, we're watching for your updates!



NOTE: When I say "everything I'm doing," I can tell you I've done a lot of research on how to possibily eliminate Group B strep bacteria so I've been eating probiotic yogourt daily, drinking a probiotic drink daily, taking odorless garlic daily and tossing in a little zinc and echineacea as well. Supposedly, these things will help me ensure a negative Group B strep test... but nothing is ever certain, I know. I can hope though, right?! Wish me luck!