As an addendum to the previous post
We just got the results...
The second beta came in at 355 (at 17dp3dt). That gives us a doubling time of about 55 hours at the moment. All is still good. So I can breathe a little easier.
Showing posts with label beta. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beta. Show all posts
Monday, December 22, 2008
So what's next on this journey?
I haven't posted any updates. Sorry! I'm a slacker huh? I do apologize. I think the reason I haven't posted is I'm afraid that the moment I say, "Everything is going fine," that something will go wrong! Ever the pessimist huh? I got scolded about that on Saturday by my stepdaughter in fact.
On Saturday, hubby had his kids and I spent the day out shopping with my friend and her daughter. Everyone was at our house for supper that night. And as it so happened, everyone at the table knows that we had a positive beta though as we told them all, it's super early and a lot of things can go wrong so don't get your hopes up yet, etc. ad nauseaum!
Anyway, we're having dinner and somewhere along the way, hubby brings up the fact that if this p/g goes to term and we have a *whispers* baby in August, then all his children's birthdays will be three months apart, starting with our child in August. And then the three kids at the table started chiming in, "Yeah, I'll be almost 15 when the baby comes," and, "I'll be 13 and a half!" and my friend's daughter, "Maybe we can babysit!" and on and on it went. I just sat there and looked at them all, my mouth kind of agape in disbelief. It was all so very surreal for them to be talking about OUR child. OUR baby. This p/g. It bowled me over. I held up my hand. "Stop! Dear heavens stop that. You can't do that to me guys. One day at a time please. Lots can go wrong. It's still very early. I have a lot of tests and things that I have to get through to make sure everything is okay," etc.
My stepdaughter looked at me and in a flat tone retorted, "You're always so negative about everything." And everyone at the table looked at me and nodded.
And in a way, I guess they're right. I don't necessarily want to be negative. I just want to be prepared for the worst. I'm so afraid of getting my hopes up now that I've had a positive beta, that it just makes me super nervous!
I know the road of infertility all too well. But I've no clue what to do next now that I have made it past a positive beta! This part of the road I've never even seen before. It's like driving in a new country for heaven's sake and I think they're Brits or Aussies. I'm on the wrong side of the road! Eeek!
Anyway, while my clinic in Montréal didn't want a second beta, my local clinic did. So I went this morning for that bloodwork. We'll see what the numbers yield. I'm so nervous. I fear that they will have dropped (indicating m/c). Or maybe doubled but not fast enough (indicating ectopic p/g). Or maybe jumped so high that hubby will be scared we have triplets in there! I don't know. I'm just waiting to hear the news...
I still need that hand-holding. Don't let go yet. Please. I need all the hands I can find!
By the way, my sister commented to me that she thought that there are some very sweet blogging buddies out there because she was touched by all the comments you left me. And I am grateful to have you all beside me because the support you give is incredible and above and beyond what one would expect. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. You mean the world to me.
On Saturday, hubby had his kids and I spent the day out shopping with my friend and her daughter. Everyone was at our house for supper that night. And as it so happened, everyone at the table knows that we had a positive beta though as we told them all, it's super early and a lot of things can go wrong so don't get your hopes up yet, etc. ad nauseaum!
Anyway, we're having dinner and somewhere along the way, hubby brings up the fact that if this p/g goes to term and we have a *whispers* baby in August, then all his children's birthdays will be three months apart, starting with our child in August. And then the three kids at the table started chiming in, "Yeah, I'll be almost 15 when the baby comes," and, "I'll be 13 and a half!" and my friend's daughter, "Maybe we can babysit!" and on and on it went. I just sat there and looked at them all, my mouth kind of agape in disbelief. It was all so very surreal for them to be talking about OUR child. OUR baby. This p/g. It bowled me over. I held up my hand. "Stop! Dear heavens stop that. You can't do that to me guys. One day at a time please. Lots can go wrong. It's still very early. I have a lot of tests and things that I have to get through to make sure everything is okay," etc.
My stepdaughter looked at me and in a flat tone retorted, "You're always so negative about everything." And everyone at the table looked at me and nodded.
And in a way, I guess they're right. I don't necessarily want to be negative. I just want to be prepared for the worst. I'm so afraid of getting my hopes up now that I've had a positive beta, that it just makes me super nervous!
I know the road of infertility all too well. But I've no clue what to do next now that I have made it past a positive beta! This part of the road I've never even seen before. It's like driving in a new country for heaven's sake and I think they're Brits or Aussies. I'm on the wrong side of the road! Eeek!
Anyway, while my clinic in Montréal didn't want a second beta, my local clinic did. So I went this morning for that bloodwork. We'll see what the numbers yield. I'm so nervous. I fear that they will have dropped (indicating m/c). Or maybe doubled but not fast enough (indicating ectopic p/g). Or maybe jumped so high that hubby will be scared we have triplets in there! I don't know. I'm just waiting to hear the news...
I still need that hand-holding. Don't let go yet. Please. I need all the hands I can find!
By the way, my sister commented to me that she thought that there are some very sweet blogging buddies out there because she was touched by all the comments you left me. And I am grateful to have you all beside me because the support you give is incredible and above and beyond what one would expect. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. You mean the world to me.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
12dp3dt
And still no sign of AF. The cramping that I was having has almost totally subsided (which kinda scares me in a way) and I am on the edge of my seat. Literally. I sort of have to be though; I'm moving offices by Friday to accomodate people in the new building at work. (God love my co-workers; they know my situation and three of them offered to help pack and move my stuff!)
Anyway, the thought that consumes me is: what I wouldn't give to have some sign, something, some indication, that there is hope. (Shlomit, I am so jealous in that respect!) Alas, I am afraid to let "Hope" in. Because I have learned that as soon as she gets a foot in the door, she brings the haggard wench, AF, along with her. So I am being hyper-cautious about tomorrow's beta. And honestly, I'm scared out of my wits!
I'm trying to keep busy and not stress. I'm trying to find little things to do to keep my brain occupied. That is proving to be almost impossible at this point with less than 24 hours to go.
I go in at 7:15 to pick up the requisition, take it downstairs to the lab, have the blood drawn and hopefully, by 4 or 5 p.m. I will know something. As I said in the virtual lushary today over at Mel's, I will take a milkshake for the moment, but keep a stiff drink behind the counter for me. I suspect I might be able to have the red wine and camembert that Shlomit was talking about!
I haven't opted to take any part of tomorrow off work. I expect that I will get the news later in the day, after the work day is over if the timing of phone calls from the clinic during the IVF were any sort of indication. So with luck, I won't have to leave the office in tears. By the same token, I won't be jumping for joy and screaming out in happiness, thus prompting colleagues to wonder if I've lost my mind. (Answer? Yes.)
Bah. Who am I kidding? It'll be the "tears" rather than the "jump for joy." Remember, this is me. Buttered side down. Always. Besides, I am sure it's the PIO that is keeping AF at bay for the moment. Maybe some of you who've gone down this road can enlighten me on that.
And I get through this one day at a time... I am so glad you are here with me though. I need some handholding right about now.
Anyway, the thought that consumes me is: what I wouldn't give to have some sign, something, some indication, that there is hope. (Shlomit, I am so jealous in that respect!) Alas, I am afraid to let "Hope" in. Because I have learned that as soon as she gets a foot in the door, she brings the haggard wench, AF, along with her. So I am being hyper-cautious about tomorrow's beta. And honestly, I'm scared out of my wits!
I'm trying to keep busy and not stress. I'm trying to find little things to do to keep my brain occupied. That is proving to be almost impossible at this point with less than 24 hours to go.
I go in at 7:15 to pick up the requisition, take it downstairs to the lab, have the blood drawn and hopefully, by 4 or 5 p.m. I will know something. As I said in the virtual lushary today over at Mel's, I will take a milkshake for the moment, but keep a stiff drink behind the counter for me. I suspect I might be able to have the red wine and camembert that Shlomit was talking about!
I haven't opted to take any part of tomorrow off work. I expect that I will get the news later in the day, after the work day is over if the timing of phone calls from the clinic during the IVF were any sort of indication. So with luck, I won't have to leave the office in tears. By the same token, I won't be jumping for joy and screaming out in happiness, thus prompting colleagues to wonder if I've lost my mind. (Answer? Yes.)
Bah. Who am I kidding? It'll be the "tears" rather than the "jump for joy." Remember, this is me. Buttered side down. Always. Besides, I am sure it's the PIO that is keeping AF at bay for the moment. Maybe some of you who've gone down this road can enlighten me on that.
And I get through this one day at a time... I am so glad you are here with me though. I need some handholding right about now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
