Spring is in the Air

It's been too long since I posted and I apologize for that. There's a bunch of things going on right now and in general, I'm busy as a bee taking care of Petite; she's an active lil girl yanno! But here's the scoop on the goings-on in our house.

Petite is talking up a storm. I hear the "Mama" syllables in there frequently but I know she doesn't do it deliberately yet. I am looking forward to the moment when she does. She's sitting very well on her own, rolling all over the floor and scooting backwards. She's pretty much covered the area of our living room with no trouble, even though she doesn't move forwards or crawl. I have a feeling she's going to be one of those who jumps right to the walking stage; she's always begging to have us hold her up on her feet! She is constantly and forever moving, even when having a bottle. Her hands are continuously exploring our faces or her own and she loves to sit and rock back and forth on her bum. She's ALMOST able to pull herself from her back to a full sitting position. Heavens knows, she's certainly trying!

She's eating pretty well: she likes veggies (carrots, peas, squash), cereal (rice, oatmeal, rice + banana, mixed), and yogourt. Oh yeah, and she had a turkey and squash mix last week too. She isn't keen on fruits yet but I'm sure that'll come. I continue to expose her to them anyway. Like my sister (the dietician) told me: it takes an average of 15 times of trying before a child will try any given food. So maybe on the 15th try, she'll like that applesauce after all. And if she doesn't, no big deal.

Her nighttime routine is back to normal after the RSV had messed us up entirely. At 5:30 she eats dinner, by 6:30 she gets her bath (she loves the water), and around 7:30, after a story with me, she has a bottle and goes to bed. We'll feed her once more during the night, usually around midnight, and she goes back to bed til about 7:30 a.m., which isn't too bad at all.

The RSV was terrible. Petite was sick for a good two weeks but she did well in getting over it. Unfortunately, friends of ours have a little boy who is six months older than Petite and he went through it too and was hospitalized for a number of days. He's over it now, but I know his parents were pretty scared for a day or two. It isn't fun, that's for sure.

Petite finished her first series of swimming classes and I'll be enrolling her again in the same series. Here, for the Parent and Tot class, in order to move up from Level 1 to Level 2, a child must be at least 1 year old. So we'll keep practising at Level 1 to keep Petite familiar with a pool and be comfortable in the water and all that. Besides, it's a wonderful way to get me out of the house and doing an activity with her. And we definitely enjoy that.

That's been hard for me. Being unfamiliar with what is available for children in the city (or the province for that matter, having moved here when I was 26), and being an older mom (I'll be 40 in less than 2 months, OMG), I've found it hard to find others in my shoes. So I'm putting some efforts into finding out where to go and what to do with young infants in our area. I've found a few things, and I know there are more activities and groups out there. I'm still looking. After all, if Petite isn't exposed to other children, putting her in daycare at the end of August is going to be VERY difficult, for both her and me!

I've started looking for a daycare too. I'm putting out feelers but of course, word of mouth is frequently the best way to find someone reliable. And I just can't afford to pay $1200 a month, as some daycares ask. No, I'm looking more in the $600 to $750 range, so likely in a private home. I've found one that seems really good and I've been in contact with the caregiver already. An added bonus for that particular caregiver is that she is known to two of my friends (outside of caregiver circles) and very well-liked by both. We'll see.

For the moment, I'm busy with tidying things up and getting ready for my mom and my aunt to visit. They arrive in early April for three weeks. I asked them to come to take care of Petite for a bit, while I recover from gallbladder surgery. As some of you may remember, I never had an issue with my gallbladder until the pregnancy but I had a bad attack while pregnant with Petite. After Petite was born, I thought all would be well. Alas, a meal of greasy fish and chips at home in December promptly set off another attack or two and I ended up in Emergency at the hospital at home. End result: gallbladder ought to come out and I'm scheduled for surgery on April 13... assuming the MRI that I need first is a "go." And I need someone to take care of Petite while I recover. So they're coming to visit and spend time with her. Towards the end of their visit, my other two aunts will come join us as well. They all want to see Petite and spend as much time as they can with her. And I'm very lucky that they are all well enough to do so and WANT to do so. It'll be a zoo for a few days around my house, but it'll be worth it. And I know they'll enjoy their time with the baby as they always do.

This week, we have some activities to keep us busy and I'll be returning to the gym again. I went twice last week with some success; on one occasion, the staff had to come get me off the elliptical because Petite was really upset and they couldn't soothe her. But the more I go, the more she gets used to it and the better it is for me too. So we'll go again. Hubby has this Friday off, as it's Good Friday. The temperatures are supposed to be lovely by this weekend (in the low to mid-20s apparently) so we hope to get out for a walk in the sun with Petite. And of course, next weekend is Easter. So I'll sign off by wishing you and yours a very Happy Easter! May your baskets be filled with chocolate and goodness and may spring be sprung in your neck of the woods! Oh, except for my Aussie friends; I hope your fall is beautiful and picturesque.

Hugs to all in blogland. Til next time...

It's Finally Time

I type this from my hospital bed. Slowly... because one hand is dealing with the damned IV.

Yeah, I had to suck it up and deal with it after all that I've done to avoid it, but unfortunately it was completely unavoidable in this case. So here's the scoop for all of you who've been checking in, either here, facebook, e-mail, or what not. And may I say right off from the start, thank you for doing that, for thinking of us, for your prayers and well wishes. Please don't stop now; we're not quite done but we are, finally, well on our way.

When we got to the hospital Wednesday morning, we were admitted pretty much immediately after they finished filling out details on my chart. They didn't even bother to check me any further before taking me in because they already knew that my membranes had ruptured the previous night and so that means that I needed to be admitted to make sure everything was still good and there was no infection, etc. (All keeping in mind of course that I'm GBS positive so that's a primary motivator in my case.)

So I got admitted, and found a gown that wasn't going to cut off circulation (!) and got settled in for the long haul. While overnight I'd been contracting every 6 to 9 minutes, albeit very lightly, the contractions virtually stopped when I was in my room. Very disappointing. Petit was continuing to be active and all, but no contractions, no real progress meant that no one was happy with how it was going.

And thus the cascade began.

First up, an OB I didn't know and hadn't ever had the opportunity to speak to. He comes in my room, shakes my hand, introduces himself and says, "All right then. Let's get you hooked up to some oxytocin to get this going!" virtually rubbing his hands together gleefully. Um... how about no? Not yet? How about even bothering to check my monitor or determine if my cervix had dilated any further since last night? ANYTHING? Needless to say, neither hubby nor I was impressed and by the time he left our room, he was none too thrilled with us. But that isn't the first time I'd pissed off a doctor. C'est la vie. Next thing I know, I was asked to sign a "refusal of treatment" form for the IV to augment labour and to administer IV penicillin for the GBS. I promptly signed it. Ass...

Next up, a visit from a social worker. "Odd" I thought to myself, and then I learned that she was there at the doctor's request. She started asking about my needle phobia and why I would refuse treatment, things like that. And she too went the route of trying to convince me that I could possibly be doing some irreversable damage to the baby. Not cool. I informed her that I understood the ramifications of my choices and I knew the alternatives. I also explained to her that I had a great network of people (both real life and here online) that are wonderful!

Third in line was the anaesthesiologist. She came up to let me know the risks and issues of not following the doctor's recommendations and going right for the oxytocin and the epidural. Cause didn't you know, "There won't be a crash c-section, there'll be an awake intubation, which will be really difficult given that it takes about 45 minutes to get someone up here. And add to that the fact that you are overweight. It might not even be possible to intubate you. As well, in our line of work, moms are the priority. If baby dies, baby dies. But we have to make that call when no epidural line or spinal is in place. You need to know that and be aware of what your decision means." Nice way to scare a person on the verge of tears and who's gone through what I have to get to this point huh? Again, not cool in my books.

Fuck me. By that point I was on the verge of spitting nickels and I was angry with every single person who dared cross the threshhold of my room! Honest to Christ! I doubted not just myself, and my own knowledge and research, but also my decision to even come to this freakin hospital. What a nightmare! I was in tears. And of course, still no damn contractions to help get things moving on their own anyway.

Fourth in their arsenal over the course of the day was the NICU nurse from the other freakin' building. She comes in and starts talking about how she can't tell us what to do, but here's the situation if your baby gets GBS or another infection and what treatment is or isn't available and how ready. Cause you know, they've all seen some sick babies and this particular infection is serious, dontcha know?! Not only that, but this woman alludes to the fact that because I was putting them in such an impossible position, there was talk of their contacting The Children's Aid Society to have someone from there come in to talk with me about the issues. SERIOUSLY?? WTF?? Brazen as brass... I couldn't believe it.

When she left the room, I broke down. For the first time.

Anyway, the day progressed but my labour definitely did not. And that made me second guess myself all the more and then wonder yet again, what was wrong with my body. I guess it just doesn't get it huh?

Eventually, late on Wednesday evening (around 6 p.m.) I decided that enough was enough... I needed to know that something could and would happen. I was starting to fear for Petit and the loss of amniotic fluid although the heartrate was fine and he/she was still kicking and all that. But we were coming up on 20 hours with no progress at all. I cried as I told hubby I was going to give in to the IV and the oxytocin. He held me as I wept and when the doctor came in to check on me again, we told him.

They got me into a nice warm shower to bring out my veins, and I wrapped my hands in warm compresses as hubby and I watched Slumdog Millionaire to take my mind off things until the anaesthesiologist came up to do his job. I gotta say, between him, hubby and my ever-so-freakin-amazing nurse Elaine (a true Godsend this woman, from Jamaica and she had all the faith in the world in me), the IV went in pretty smoothly. Oxytocin was started around 6 p.m. on Wednesday night at the lowest dose.

And true to form, that did nothing either. *sigh*

All night the oxytocin did its thing and the nurses continued to check me and to bump up the levels every 30 mins or so. Only by about 3 a.m. did I start to actually FEEL anything. And I began to breathe through the contractions. Hubby didn't even hear me as I dealt with them and by 4 a.m. on Thursday, they were strong, strong, strong. But I was still only 1-2 cm dilated!! DAMMIT!

That frustrated me to no end. Combined with an overnight nurse who had the personality of a wet dishrag and made me upset and angry, I began to cry. I threw tissues. I sat up so abruptly that the monitors lost the baby's heartbeat and said nurse barged in wondering what the heck was going on with me. I told her I was pissed and upset and I was ready to just rip everything off and head the hell outta dodge. Only hubby calmed me down. Thank God for him. He truly is my rock you know.

I finally settled down again after a fashion and tried to rest. Or maybe I just tried to relax a little. I mean, that was going on 30 hours already and I'd just had enough, you know?

By 5 a.m., knowing the strength of the contractions and my level of discomfort, I agreed to nubain (an IM narcotic) which really took the edge off the pain for about 3-4 hours. But that came with a ton of drowsiness and some nausea (remedied by gravol in my IV) and I dozed a bit and breathed a bit. All was good til the nubain wore off and by 9:30 a.m. I was in pain again. A second injection of nubain and I hoped it would do what the first one did. No dice. The contractions had picked up so much that I couldn't even breathe through them anymore. I was doing every possible trick in the book but nothing could distract me. Talk about intense! Mother of baby Jesus... I couldn't even speak.

Hubby had stepped out to run home, as he had now and then to shower, change, touch base with my family, etc. and when he got back, I told him (God knows how in heaven he was able to comprehend me through the panting, tears, and shaking) I had pretty much agreed to the epidural to relieve the pain and maybe, just maybe, get my cervix to dilate and cooperate. Again, we pulled Elaine into the room to tell her. She agreed to talk to the doctor and get the anesthesiologist again... different guy this time. But just as competent.

All this time, I had managed to get out of bed and get back and forth to the washroom and this would be my last shot at that; once the epi went in, I'd be stuck. But enough was enough. So I agreed. That was noon today.

The epi went in on the third try; it was really tough between severe contractions, and my anaesthesiologist preferred to do them with the patient lying down. Anyway, that done, I started to feel the numbness pretty much immediately but the pressure was still there. That's the goal anyway, so I can actually feel pressure to help push Petit out when the time comes.

So okay, at noon today, I was still 3 cms and about 35% effaced. By 2 p.m., They checked me again. Blow me down folks... 9 cms (just a bit of anterior lip) and 95% effaced. Elaine could feel the baby's head and little bits of hair! Petit is now at a +1 station!! WOOT! All that in just two hours. I guess I needed to relax huh?

It is almost 3 p.m. here. I'm due for another check, and likely, very likely, I'll get to start pushing. With some luck, Petit will be here within a few short hours. You'll get the scoop right after family and immediate friends. I guarantee it. Either hubby or I will post. It might be short, but there you go.

I'm excited and so eager to meet this little one. Just like Vee and Max have welcomed little Leo Alexandre into their lives, so too might I get to introduce to you Petit, and his or her name.

Sending love to you all. And thank you for your wishes. I have been needing them. Every single one.

Some developments... at last!

Hubby and I are on the way out to the hospital this morning, bright and early.

Last night, as I sat at my desk around 10:15 p.m., just as I was finishing clearing the SD card for the camera, and copying down some music to my mp3 player for the hospital, my water broke. It was unmistakable and by 11 p.m. we were on our way to the hospital to get checked.

Petit is doing fine. I'm doing fine and after a few checks and monitorings of Petit's heartrate, we were sent home to try to get some rest until this morning and told to return to see how things are progressing.

Overnight, contractions hit the 6 minute mark (or thereabouts), however, I did manage to squeeze in 3 or 4 hours of semi decent rest. I know I'm "on the clock" now to deliver within about 24 hours of last night's time marker so we'll just hope that the contractions and pressure I'm feeling are productive today.

Promise to keep you all posted. Wish us luck!

Getting Sick While P/G Ain't All It's Cracked Up To Be (31w 3 d)

I was right... that cold manifested itself in spades, lemme tell ya! It started off as just a cold, then moved to my sinuses where it embedded itself nicely, and then proceeded to wreak havoc on my eyes as pinkeye. Nice huh? Usually for a sinus infection I'd grab the Nasonex. But as I'm expecting, no can do. Similarly for the pinkeye. I had to resort to saline rinses for my sinuses, over-the-counter polysporin antibiotic drops for the pinkeye and zinc/echinacea and the occasional Halls for the cold. All washed down with oodles and oodles of orange juice. Oh it's been a fun week in our house! I left work last Wednesday afternoon and I never went out of the house til I got in the car on Tuesday this week to go back to work. Thrilling indeed.

On Wednesday, I had a bit of a scare. On my way to work, I'm driving along in rush hour traffic on a four-lane major road when I see the car in front of me swerve to go around this rather large grey lump in the middle of the road. I swerve too, slowing down to see what it is. Imagine my shock and dismay to see a turtle (tortoise? I don't purport to know the difference) upside down, flailing legs trying to turn over! I couldn't believe it. Mind you, there is a major river just a little bit away from that road, so frequently you get ducks, or other animal life crossing the road to get to the river. I had just been thinking that I hadn't seen any ducks this year when this turtle is virtually right in front of me!

Keeping an eye on the cars behind me, I slowed down, pulled to the side a few hundred feet down the road, and carefully got out of my car to go back to save this poor thing. By the time I got there, the turtle was right side up and none too happy. I'd venture to say it was a good foot or foot and a half across, and it was clearly in pain. Legs, tail and head seemed fine, but the top of the shell was badly, badly broken. There was mucus and blood in the open wound and I almost cried, seeing this poor animal in such distress. I think it might have been a snapping turtle (lots of those around here and plenty in the river of that size) but I did manage to position myself behind it, gently lifted it a foot or two up in the air and carried it to the grass on the side of the road. There was a driver who kindly stopped to let me do this, and he held up traffic behind him so I could get this poor animal to safety. Then I hopped over the barrier and picked up the turtle again, and put it in the shade of the overpass above the road as the day promised to be hellishly hot.

I went back to my car, wiped the blood from my hands with a tissue and carried on to work. Upon arrival at the office, I searched the Net looking for a number for injured wildlife rescue in my city and I called to report it. They hoped to go find the turtle and take it to a sanctuary where it could possibly be rehabilitated. All day on Wednesday, I worried and wondered about that animal, but you know, I couldn't call them back to find out if they'd located it. If they did, superb. If they didn't... I can't change that outcome. I did the absolute best I could. If I hadn't stopped, that animal would have died within 5 or 10 minutes of my passing by. I truly believe that. Hopefully it has a chance. But my heart can't bear to know for certain if it doesn't.

Anyway, that start to the day on Wednesday left me stressing a bit and Petit wouldn't cooperate at al. I barely felt the baby all day so Wednesday evening, I insisted that we find the doppler and listen for awhile. All was good and I knew I could relax. Whew.

Today, I had an OB appointment. At 31 weeks 3 days, here's the latest:

• Petit is growing like a weed. I'm measuring 36 weeks but that's normal for me; I'm usually 5-7 weeks ahead in measurement, given that I carry extra pounds.
• Petit's heartbeat is in the 140s and going strong.
• I have a little protein in my urine, and they attributed that to the infections I'm semi-still battling this week.
• My blood pressure is 138/78; perfectly normal for me.
• I picked up the OB admission papers for the hospital; I need to drop them off sometime in the next week or two.
• I was urged to get my butt to L&D next time I'm concerned at all about Petit's movements. The nurse told me that is the third most frequent reason for patients to show up at L&D... number 1 being active labour, number 2 being water breaking. But they know how much hearing Petit on the monitor would reassure so I was encouraged to go ahead next time there's any doubt in my mind. I'm glad she reassured me that way.

My next appointment is in two weeks when we get a measurement ultrasound and another appointment with my regular OB.

Dawn... and to all of the rest of you who've already travelled this path:
I'm getting things together to pack a bag or two for the hospital. What did you pack that you didn't need? And what did you wish you had with you but didn't pack? Fill me in. Help me out folks. I'm a total newb at this and I'm still in total disbelief that we've made it this far.