Friday, January 12, 2007

Healthy as a... ugh. NOT.

I've been a bad blogger; I've been absent. Shame on me. *thwaps her own knuckles* I'm sorry. Forgive me? *puppy dog eyes* But I think I'm a little more functional now that I've MOSTLY recovered from the horrid cold that I got just after New Year's. Hopefully I can stop sniffling soon. I think I've used a box and a half of tissues! Yikes!

Okay, so news, news, news... hmm, there isn't much really. As I mentioned in my last post, I've decided to take a couple of months and focus on me. That feels good already. You know when you put something off for what seems like ever-so-long, and then you can't get it out of your head, feeling guilty for NOT working on it? And then you take the bull by the horns and just DO it? Yeah. That feeling. Heavens that feels incredible. Like a weight lifted from my shoulders. We all need to feel that now and then. It feels truly glorious.

I went the other evening for a CAT scan on my sinuses. I'm horribly prone to sinus infections (read: between three and seven per year, usually necessitating antibiotics to clear up) so to ensure that there is sufficient space for my sinuses to properly drain, my GP sent me to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist, who ordered the CAT scan. I have to say, it was quick and painless, as I expected. However, I had also expected to be lying on my back for the scan. You would have expected that too right? Nope! Not so fast. The nurse asked that I position myself on my tummy. Now on any ordinary day, that would be all right, but think about this: I have a cold! Runny nose, people! And you can't move during the scan! You know what that means? Ick is what that means. TOTAL ick. Ickiness to the -N-th degree! I was never so glad to be able to wipe my nose in my life! Disgusting I know, but hey, when you read about consistency of CM in infertility blogs, and all the stuff that motherhood brings, runny noses are the least of your worries!

Added to that, because of my cold, I couldn't get my flu shot. Here in Canada, the flu shot is free; it's just a matter of actually going to get one at a clinic or making an appointment with your GP. Before Christmas I couldn't go because of the TTC thing. Apparently if you are in the first trimester, it isn't good to get the flu shot. So then AF arrived and right after that, we hopped on the plane to Florida for Christmas. I figured I'd get my shot after we returned. Now we're back and there was a flu shot clinic in our area on Tuesday. But I was too ill to go; the provincial public health information line (answered by nurses) informed me that really I shouldn't be getting the shot until I'm healthy again. Blech. So now I have to make an appointment with my GP to get this year's shot. If I don't, I'll pay dearly for it. I know. Ho hum. Yes Mom, I'll go. I'll go. Promise.

I also called my RE this morning (I left a message; after all, I do start work early!) to requisition the CD23 bloodwork again and to let them know that I'm taking some time to regroup. I mentioned that until that bloodwork is done, I'm not willing to move forward because those results can tell us a great deal. I expect to hear from the RE's office this morning or tomorrow with info.

And yesterday I had to spend some hard-earned dough. Over the weekend our oven died, and really, being as miserably ill as I was, I didn't bother much with it. When he told me about it, I vaguely recall waving a hand at hubby saying, "Whatever. I just need slee... zzzzz." Now that I'm more lucid, I realized, "D*mn! We have no oven!" so yesterday hubby and I bought a new one. It will be delivered next Wednesday. However will we survive?!

I am still keeping up with your blogs. And I'm thinking good thoughts for all of us. I think in 2007, we're due to have good things happen.


Marc441 said...

Hi Gil,
This is more related to your previous post than the current one. This is a sensitive subject and I hope I find the right words.

While seeking perspective one of things that you have to realize and believe in is that while your goal of getting pregnant and having a child is very important there is more to you than that. It is not all that you are.

Even if this goal should fail (God forbid) there is still a you that is important to yourself and to others, that is loved and loves, a you that can and will have a meaningful life.

Don't let go of your goal and your dreams and do put everything that you can into them but don't put everything that you are in them.


Dramalish said...

Hope your "you" time is going well and that you and DH are enjoying yourselves.. with a new oven! What are you guys going to make first??

I'm sure the above post-er is well-meaning, but I want to tell you:

You don't have to focus on having a "meaningful life" or long term goals, or anything like that. Just be happy today.

Yes, IF can be all-consuming, but I think you know that, and are taking steps to recoup (your current time off, for example!). You're doin' great.