The woman is a Godsend, I kid you not. Anees, the phlebotomist that I encountered before was at the medical centre yesterday and she welcomed me with open arms for my CD23 bloodwork.
In preparation for today's sticks, I had had 3.5 litres of water, worn sleevless top with a cardigan (to give her easy access to either arm), and kept my arms warm all day to bring the veins to the surface. Let me tell ya, never in my LIFE have I ever gone to pee that much during a workday! Dear heavens!
Anyway, Anees took us in and had me jump up on the table. I'd taken my Loraze.pam of course (an hour before) and I was firmly plugged into the soothing sounds of my walkman, keeping me in a semi-lucid state. She palpitated and found the sweet spot; I just sat there tapping my foot, squeezing a foamy thing and breathing VERY deeply. I lay down, and she swabbed twice... and STICK! She got it on the first try! Yahoo! All in all, she took seven vials for testing.
Today's round of tests include:
- Glucose
- Hemoglobin
- White Blood Cell count
- FSH
- LH
- TSH
- Prolactin
- Estradiol
- Progesterone
- DHEAS
- T3
- T4
- Free Testosterone
- Feratin
- Folate
- Vit B12
- Insulin
I ought to get the results in a week or so. Hmm, that reminds me to get my results from my CD3 work awhile ago too. And lo and behold, it's time to have my annual Pap done too. Joy... Another peek at my hooha. Hopefully I can get the surgeon who did my lap last year. He was very good.
Today is CD24. I usually go for about 27 days or so, but I seemed to have ovulated late this time on CD17; maybe my cycle will be a bit longer this time around. We'll see. I've noticed since I'm off the Clo.mid and all the drugs that I DO ovulate on my own (as evidenced by a natural thermal shift) but that I am ovulating later that I would be with the Clo.mid/drug combo. I dread going back to the drugs. I guess because I know I ovulate, I don't want to mess with that, you know? Why push ovulation to CD12 or 13 when I would ovulate normally on CD17? As long as my luteal phase is 10 days plus... what would be the issue? I'm curious now. Anyone know?
P.S. To answer your question, my angelic phlebotomist prefers not to use a butterfly needle because the flow is too slow and would be agonizing for me to endure.
P.P.S. Oh yes, the migraines are linked to estrogen levels ladies; the rapid and wild range of rising and falling estrogen during a monthly cycle can induce both ovulation migraines as well as PMS-type migraines. Welcome to the fun. Meh.
Showing posts with label on a break. Show all posts
Showing posts with label on a break. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Thursday, March 01, 2007
The Rainbow Appears for One IF Sister
Beth over at Prop Your Hips Up Afterwards has given birth to a beautiful baby girl. NOTE: I will warn you now, clicking on the PLAY button on that video will make you cry; bring tissues. But go watch. You have to see the smile on Beth's face at the end.
On February 23, Leah Catherine made her long-awaited entrance. Beth has endured so very much to carry that precious little life, going through Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) and a host of other problems during her pregnancy. She's dealt with it all with style and grace.
I confess, when I first started reading IF blogs, I'd surf around, and find the 'normal' mix of tales of bad timing, poor CM quality, needing oral medication, IVF, etc. Then the severity of IF seemed to progress; I found a few blogs discussing injectables and constant monitoring for OHSS. And one day, I stumbled on Beth's blog, with the photo of her swollen belly, bruised from injections, and her tale of HG. My initial reaction was, "Oh God. What this poor woman hasn't done. It must be so hard. Where does she find the strength to go on? How does she do it?" I was in awe. I admire her so very much. She did what she had to do. It wasn't fun. It certainly wasn't easy. But in the end, it was worth it.
So many of my blogging sisters are celebrating the birth of Leah Catherine this week, I wanted to pass on the news as well. Congratulations Beth. You made it. It sure wasn't easy but you did make it. You're a wonderful inspiration. May your new little one bring you all the joy in the world.
On February 23, Leah Catherine made her long-awaited entrance. Beth has endured so very much to carry that precious little life, going through Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) and a host of other problems during her pregnancy. She's dealt with it all with style and grace.
I confess, when I first started reading IF blogs, I'd surf around, and find the 'normal' mix of tales of bad timing, poor CM quality, needing oral medication, IVF, etc. Then the severity of IF seemed to progress; I found a few blogs discussing injectables and constant monitoring for OHSS. And one day, I stumbled on Beth's blog, with the photo of her swollen belly, bruised from injections, and her tale of HG. My initial reaction was, "Oh God. What this poor woman hasn't done. It must be so hard. Where does she find the strength to go on? How does she do it?" I was in awe. I admire her so very much. She did what she had to do. It wasn't fun. It certainly wasn't easy. But in the end, it was worth it.
So many of my blogging sisters are celebrating the birth of Leah Catherine this week, I wanted to pass on the news as well. Congratulations Beth. You made it. It sure wasn't easy but you did make it. You're a wonderful inspiration. May your new little one bring you all the joy in the world.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Finally, it's done!
So without further delay, here are the photos of the new and improved "room that shall not be named."
We started out by ripping up the baseboard and quarter round, and then hubby tore out the old, stained and icky parquet flooring. We screwed down the subfloor (because when the house was built, nails were used) and then I proceeded to paint all the walls. The colour is a Be.hr paint (Desert Moss, #360F-5) to match the colour of the suns, moons and stars in the curtains. Then we laid down the new laminate flooring (10mm, cherry) before we put down the new baseboard and quarter round. Then came the wainscot on the lower portion of the walls, and the chair rail capped it off. I caulked the edges, painted the trim/wainscot and voilà! All in all, it took us about two weeks to do, working at it in the evenings after work for a few hours a night.
What do you think?
Yes, that wind chime is from Japan. It's one of the many souvenirs that I brought back from my time over there. I think I have something from Japan in every room of the house!
Note: Just for reference, our house is a three-bedroom bungalow with a finished basement built in the mid '60s. So it's sturdy like nothing else, but it also means we're working with old framing.
On the fertility front, we're still on our self-imposed hiatus and the drug-free thing is superb. I am glad we are taking this time. Next cycle is the bloodwork; I'll skip it this month because my mom and aunt will be visiting at that time so I'll go deal with it next month. And then we'll cycle again. I have a much better outlook right now and I don't want to lose that in the spiral of depression that often occurs with IF. But trying to balance the age factor with needing some time off is a tough thing. Glad I have projects like this to keep me occupied!
Before I sign off, does anyone know how I can reach Flicka over at Vacant Uterus? She's gone PW-protected and if she'll let me, I'd love to continue reading. If you know how to reach her, please contact me (e-mail info in my profile) with her info and I'll get in touch with her. Thanks in advance!
We started out by ripping up the baseboard and quarter round, and then hubby tore out the old, stained and icky parquet flooring. We screwed down the subfloor (because when the house was built, nails were used) and then I proceeded to paint all the walls. The colour is a Be.hr paint (Desert Moss, #360F-5) to match the colour of the suns, moons and stars in the curtains. Then we laid down the new laminate flooring (10mm, cherry) before we put down the new baseboard and quarter round. Then came the wainscot on the lower portion of the walls, and the chair rail capped it off. I caulked the edges, painted the trim/wainscot and voilà! All in all, it took us about two weeks to do, working at it in the evenings after work for a few hours a night.
What do you think?
Yes, that wind chime is from Japan. It's one of the many souvenirs that I brought back from my time over there. I think I have something from Japan in every room of the house!
Note: Just for reference, our house is a three-bedroom bungalow with a finished basement built in the mid '60s. So it's sturdy like nothing else, but it also means we're working with old framing.
On the fertility front, we're still on our self-imposed hiatus and the drug-free thing is superb. I am glad we are taking this time. Next cycle is the bloodwork; I'll skip it this month because my mom and aunt will be visiting at that time so I'll go deal with it next month. And then we'll cycle again. I have a much better outlook right now and I don't want to lose that in the spiral of depression that often occurs with IF. But trying to balance the age factor with needing some time off is a tough thing. Glad I have projects like this to keep me occupied!
Before I sign off, does anyone know how I can reach Flicka over at Vacant Uterus? She's gone PW-protected and if she'll let me, I'd love to continue reading. If you know how to reach her, please contact me (e-mail info in my profile) with her info and I'll get in touch with her. Thanks in advance!
Friday, February 09, 2007
Pictures! (No, not the room... yet)
A few of you asked for updates on the room. Much to my chagrin, it's not QUITE finished. While I am definitely very ambitious, I am obviously not realistic! Apparently my dad thought I was "hiring" someone to do this work, and my sister was under the impression that I was taking time off work to do it all. No, gosh no. None of that! Tsk tsk! It's all my doing and it's being done every evening after I get off work. I'm plain tuckered out. But wow, the room is looking spectacular. I have a little more caulking to do tonight (I ran out of caulk last night) and then a last coat of paint on the wainscot to cover joints and nail hole fillings etc. One last going over with the dustcloth and I'll clean the windows and then it will be done. Before I reload the room, I'll take pics, I promise! Okay? Happy now?! Sheesh!
Though to appease you, I thought I'd put in some sort of pictures. These are two pics of my (fur) babies. Smudge (on the left) and Shadow are now the ripe old age of 11 years. I got them in the fall of 1995 while living in southern Japan and I brought them back to Canada with me in 1996 when I returned after three years in the Land of the Rising Sun. Even at age 11 they're still full of mischief and they are just gorgeous. And yes, if you are astute, you can see that the time on the digital box does indeed say "5:28"... that would be a.m. people. Hubby and I are up at 5 and I'm at my desk at 6:40 a.m. for my day. Ugh. On the bright side, we do get home by 3:30 p.m.! Okay, here you go... my "babies"...
P.S. To answer Shlomit, I work as a Senior Technical Writer–Editor (cum Translator) for... *whispers* the officers in red serge. Hubby is an IT support specialist and his shift is from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. Because he and I carpool (our offices are close) I get up to go with him at that unearthly hour. You do get used to it though; I love having my afternoons to run errands and such!
Though to appease you, I thought I'd put in some sort of pictures. These are two pics of my (fur) babies. Smudge (on the left) and Shadow are now the ripe old age of 11 years. I got them in the fall of 1995 while living in southern Japan and I brought them back to Canada with me in 1996 when I returned after three years in the Land of the Rising Sun. Even at age 11 they're still full of mischief and they are just gorgeous. And yes, if you are astute, you can see that the time on the digital box does indeed say "5:28"... that would be a.m. people. Hubby and I are up at 5 and I'm at my desk at 6:40 a.m. for my day. Ugh. On the bright side, we do get home by 3:30 p.m.! Okay, here you go... my "babies"...
P.S. To answer Shlomit, I work as a Senior Technical Writer–Editor (cum Translator) for... *whispers* the officers in red serge. Hubby is an IT support specialist and his shift is from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. Because he and I carpool (our offices are close) I get up to go with him at that unearthly hour. You do get used to it though; I love having my afternoons to run errands and such!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
The Room That Shall Not Be Named
For the last few days, hubby and I have been busy every evening, up to our eyes in sawdust, woodworking tools, paint cans, measuring tapes... eeesh, I'm dizzy just thinking about it. Our goal is to strip and refinish "The Room That Shall Not Be Named" before Friday, February 2.
I bought the house in December of 2001, and hubby and I moved in in late January 2002. Shortly thereafter, my aunt, a seamstress by trade, worked her magic and made lovely curtains for all the bedrooms. In that room, I chose a beautiful green and yellow pattern; yellow stars, moons and suns on a green background, with flecks of yellow throughout.
The green and yellow was a no-brainer. You see, The Room has an intended purpose. Oh yes. And many of you infertiles know exactly what I'm talking about. It just screams "nursery" at me. In fact, that room was a major selling point of the house. Forget the fact that it has a large in-ground pool, or a huge finished basement, or any of the other good features. No no, it was The Room that really sealed the deal for me.
And because we have not yet had a child, The Room has been designated under many appellations. It's been called: the small guest room, J's room (when my stepson lived with us), the back bedroom, the white bedroom (originally I just whipped a coat of white paint on the previously grey walls), the room with the walk-in closet, etc. But never, ever, ever will I dare call it The Nur... well, you know. THAT name. So much like in the Har.ry Pot.ter films that refuse to utter the name of the bad guy, I've decided to give it the privilege of being called The Room That Shall Not Be Named.
Anyone who knows me knows darn well I will not, I absolutely refuse to, I positively despise putting pretty pink or pale blue on a room that will be used for that purpose. If ever I have the blessed opportunity to have a child, the room will be yellow, green and white. Crisp, classic, fresh colours. THAT is what I want in The Room. Thus, the green and yellow curtains that I so adore. Thank you Aunt B for those gorgeous curtains! *kisses*
Anyway, in refinishing The Room, we started out with the idea of putting in new laminate flooring. Then I thought if the floor is going to be done, we're going to be taking off the baseboard and quarter round. So, a great opportunity to finally get a nice coat of paint on the walls. To get rid of the bland, boring old white. Ugh. It needed a paint job long ago anyway. I took the material from the curtain and I went out to find a paint to match. Then I thought, well, it'd also be nice to go ahead and put on the white wainscoting that I'd wanted to have in The Room when it finally gets used for its intended purpose. I mean, why bother to do the floors and the paint and then put it all back together in order to tear it apart again in the future? So I bought the wainscoting.
And the renovation work begain. Off came the baseboard and quarter round. Hubby pried up the old and damaged parquet flooring. I've put on the two coats of paint on the full wall, and painted the wainscoting. Tonight, we lay the laminate and either tonight or tomorrow we put up the baseboard, wainscoting, chair rail and quarter round. Put up the curtains again (the inspiration for the whole room) and load in the furniture again. Voilà. New room to enjoy.
In considering whether I would even tackle the work, I wondered why, oh why would I deprive my guests and my own family of having a beautiful room to enjoy? I just think it's a little silly to sit and wait; to count on something that I am never certain about and hold off those plans until... well... heavens knows when, right? Life goes on. I have to live for today and enjoy my surroundings today instead of pinning my hopes on all that. I cannot let it control my life. I didn't want to jinx it before, but you know, I can't think that way any longer. Part of taking stock of my life I guess and moving forward for now, until I cycle again.
And why do we have to do all this before Friday, you ask? Because my stepson will be 11 years old on Thursday. (Side note: I was introduced to him when he was four, almost five, and his sister was six at the time.) And on Friday, hubby and I are going with nine of our friends and their children to a junior hockey game. After the game, three of the kids will be having a sleepover at our house so I'd love to put the room to use. Worst case scenario, they will bunk on the living room floor in front of the fireplace and watch TV and play video games or whatever floats their boat. Besides, it needs to be done before the end of February because Aunt B and my mom are coming to visit for 10 days. And they deserve to enjoy a beautiful room too.
Sending hugs to
Katd over at They Grow in Your Heart. She and her husband are waiting for news from their adoption agency about the birth mother who was matched to them. The birth mother is due this week, but they've not heard from her in awhile and are wondering whether their adoption will take place at all, or whether luck will fall in their laps and everything will go as originally intended. Keep us posted katd. May good things come to you!
**Edited to add**
Ah ha! Caught ya! By the looks of things, I'm not the only one out there with a Room that shall not be named! You guys seem to have them too; I knew I wasn't alone. So I'm opening up comments to you to tell me about your "Room" and what you use it for now, what you would like to do with it, colours, styles, anything at all. Share. :)
I bought the house in December of 2001, and hubby and I moved in in late January 2002. Shortly thereafter, my aunt, a seamstress by trade, worked her magic and made lovely curtains for all the bedrooms. In that room, I chose a beautiful green and yellow pattern; yellow stars, moons and suns on a green background, with flecks of yellow throughout.
The green and yellow was a no-brainer. You see, The Room has an intended purpose. Oh yes. And many of you infertiles know exactly what I'm talking about. It just screams "nursery" at me. In fact, that room was a major selling point of the house. Forget the fact that it has a large in-ground pool, or a huge finished basement, or any of the other good features. No no, it was The Room that really sealed the deal for me.
And because we have not yet had a child, The Room has been designated under many appellations. It's been called: the small guest room, J's room (when my stepson lived with us), the back bedroom, the white bedroom (originally I just whipped a coat of white paint on the previously grey walls), the room with the walk-in closet, etc. But never, ever, ever will I dare call it The Nur... well, you know. THAT name. So much like in the Har.ry Pot.ter films that refuse to utter the name of the bad guy, I've decided to give it the privilege of being called The Room That Shall Not Be Named.
Anyone who knows me knows darn well I will not, I absolutely refuse to, I positively despise putting pretty pink or pale blue on a room that will be used for that purpose. If ever I have the blessed opportunity to have a child, the room will be yellow, green and white. Crisp, classic, fresh colours. THAT is what I want in The Room. Thus, the green and yellow curtains that I so adore. Thank you Aunt B for those gorgeous curtains! *kisses*
Anyway, in refinishing The Room, we started out with the idea of putting in new laminate flooring. Then I thought if the floor is going to be done, we're going to be taking off the baseboard and quarter round. So, a great opportunity to finally get a nice coat of paint on the walls. To get rid of the bland, boring old white. Ugh. It needed a paint job long ago anyway. I took the material from the curtain and I went out to find a paint to match. Then I thought, well, it'd also be nice to go ahead and put on the white wainscoting that I'd wanted to have in The Room when it finally gets used for its intended purpose. I mean, why bother to do the floors and the paint and then put it all back together in order to tear it apart again in the future? So I bought the wainscoting.
And the renovation work begain. Off came the baseboard and quarter round. Hubby pried up the old and damaged parquet flooring. I've put on the two coats of paint on the full wall, and painted the wainscoting. Tonight, we lay the laminate and either tonight or tomorrow we put up the baseboard, wainscoting, chair rail and quarter round. Put up the curtains again (the inspiration for the whole room) and load in the furniture again. Voilà. New room to enjoy.
In considering whether I would even tackle the work, I wondered why, oh why would I deprive my guests and my own family of having a beautiful room to enjoy? I just think it's a little silly to sit and wait; to count on something that I am never certain about and hold off those plans until... well... heavens knows when, right? Life goes on. I have to live for today and enjoy my surroundings today instead of pinning my hopes on all that. I cannot let it control my life. I didn't want to jinx it before, but you know, I can't think that way any longer. Part of taking stock of my life I guess and moving forward for now, until I cycle again.
And why do we have to do all this before Friday, you ask? Because my stepson will be 11 years old on Thursday. (Side note: I was introduced to him when he was four, almost five, and his sister was six at the time.) And on Friday, hubby and I are going with nine of our friends and their children to a junior hockey game. After the game, three of the kids will be having a sleepover at our house so I'd love to put the room to use. Worst case scenario, they will bunk on the living room floor in front of the fireplace and watch TV and play video games or whatever floats their boat. Besides, it needs to be done before the end of February because Aunt B and my mom are coming to visit for 10 days. And they deserve to enjoy a beautiful room too.
Sending hugs to
Katd over at They Grow in Your Heart. She and her husband are waiting for news from their adoption agency about the birth mother who was matched to them. The birth mother is due this week, but they've not heard from her in awhile and are wondering whether their adoption will take place at all, or whether luck will fall in their laps and everything will go as originally intended. Keep us posted katd. May good things come to you!
**Edited to add**
Ah ha! Caught ya! By the looks of things, I'm not the only one out there with a Room that shall not be named! You guys seem to have them too; I knew I wasn't alone. So I'm opening up comments to you to tell me about your "Room" and what you use it for now, what you would like to do with it, colours, styles, anything at all. Share. :)
Friday, January 12, 2007
Healthy as a... ugh. NOT.
I've been a bad blogger; I've been absent. Shame on me. *thwaps her own knuckles* I'm sorry. Forgive me? *puppy dog eyes* But I think I'm a little more functional now that I've MOSTLY recovered from the horrid cold that I got just after New Year's. Hopefully I can stop sniffling soon. I think I've used a box and a half of tissues! Yikes!
Okay, so news, news, news... hmm, there isn't much really. As I mentioned in my last post, I've decided to take a couple of months and focus on me. That feels good already. You know when you put something off for what seems like ever-so-long, and then you can't get it out of your head, feeling guilty for NOT working on it? And then you take the bull by the horns and just DO it? Yeah. That feeling. Heavens that feels incredible. Like a weight lifted from my shoulders. We all need to feel that now and then. It feels truly glorious.
I went the other evening for a CAT scan on my sinuses. I'm horribly prone to sinus infections (read: between three and seven per year, usually necessitating antibiotics to clear up) so to ensure that there is sufficient space for my sinuses to properly drain, my GP sent me to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist, who ordered the CAT scan. I have to say, it was quick and painless, as I expected. However, I had also expected to be lying on my back for the scan. You would have expected that too right? Nope! Not so fast. The nurse asked that I position myself on my tummy. Now on any ordinary day, that would be all right, but think about this: I have a cold! Runny nose, people! And you can't move during the scan! You know what that means? Ick is what that means. TOTAL ick. Ickiness to the -N-th degree! I was never so glad to be able to wipe my nose in my life! Disgusting I know, but hey, when you read about consistency of CM in infertility blogs, and all the stuff that motherhood brings, runny noses are the least of your worries!
Added to that, because of my cold, I couldn't get my flu shot. Here in Canada, the flu shot is free; it's just a matter of actually going to get one at a clinic or making an appointment with your GP. Before Christmas I couldn't go because of the TTC thing. Apparently if you are in the first trimester, it isn't good to get the flu shot. So then AF arrived and right after that, we hopped on the plane to Florida for Christmas. I figured I'd get my shot after we returned. Now we're back and there was a flu shot clinic in our area on Tuesday. But I was too ill to go; the provincial public health information line (answered by nurses) informed me that really I shouldn't be getting the shot until I'm healthy again. Blech. So now I have to make an appointment with my GP to get this year's shot. If I don't, I'll pay dearly for it. I know. Ho hum. Yes Mom, I'll go. I'll go. Promise.
I also called my RE this morning (I left a message; after all, I do start work early!) to requisition the CD23 bloodwork again and to let them know that I'm taking some time to regroup. I mentioned that until that bloodwork is done, I'm not willing to move forward because those results can tell us a great deal. I expect to hear from the RE's office this morning or tomorrow with info.
And yesterday I had to spend some hard-earned dough. Over the weekend our oven died, and really, being as miserably ill as I was, I didn't bother much with it. When he told me about it, I vaguely recall waving a hand at hubby saying, "Whatever. I just need slee... zzzzz." Now that I'm more lucid, I realized, "D*mn! We have no oven!" so yesterday hubby and I bought a new one. It will be delivered next Wednesday. However will we survive?!
I am still keeping up with your blogs. And I'm thinking good thoughts for all of us. I think in 2007, we're due to have good things happen.
Okay, so news, news, news... hmm, there isn't much really. As I mentioned in my last post, I've decided to take a couple of months and focus on me. That feels good already. You know when you put something off for what seems like ever-so-long, and then you can't get it out of your head, feeling guilty for NOT working on it? And then you take the bull by the horns and just DO it? Yeah. That feeling. Heavens that feels incredible. Like a weight lifted from my shoulders. We all need to feel that now and then. It feels truly glorious.
I went the other evening for a CAT scan on my sinuses. I'm horribly prone to sinus infections (read: between three and seven per year, usually necessitating antibiotics to clear up) so to ensure that there is sufficient space for my sinuses to properly drain, my GP sent me to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist, who ordered the CAT scan. I have to say, it was quick and painless, as I expected. However, I had also expected to be lying on my back for the scan. You would have expected that too right? Nope! Not so fast. The nurse asked that I position myself on my tummy. Now on any ordinary day, that would be all right, but think about this: I have a cold! Runny nose, people! And you can't move during the scan! You know what that means? Ick is what that means. TOTAL ick. Ickiness to the -N-th degree! I was never so glad to be able to wipe my nose in my life! Disgusting I know, but hey, when you read about consistency of CM in infertility blogs, and all the stuff that motherhood brings, runny noses are the least of your worries!
Added to that, because of my cold, I couldn't get my flu shot. Here in Canada, the flu shot is free; it's just a matter of actually going to get one at a clinic or making an appointment with your GP. Before Christmas I couldn't go because of the TTC thing. Apparently if you are in the first trimester, it isn't good to get the flu shot. So then AF arrived and right after that, we hopped on the plane to Florida for Christmas. I figured I'd get my shot after we returned. Now we're back and there was a flu shot clinic in our area on Tuesday. But I was too ill to go; the provincial public health information line (answered by nurses) informed me that really I shouldn't be getting the shot until I'm healthy again. Blech. So now I have to make an appointment with my GP to get this year's shot. If I don't, I'll pay dearly for it. I know. Ho hum. Yes Mom, I'll go. I'll go. Promise.
I also called my RE this morning (I left a message; after all, I do start work early!) to requisition the CD23 bloodwork again and to let them know that I'm taking some time to regroup. I mentioned that until that bloodwork is done, I'm not willing to move forward because those results can tell us a great deal. I expect to hear from the RE's office this morning or tomorrow with info.
And yesterday I had to spend some hard-earned dough. Over the weekend our oven died, and really, being as miserably ill as I was, I didn't bother much with it. When he told me about it, I vaguely recall waving a hand at hubby saying, "Whatever. I just need slee... zzzzz." Now that I'm more lucid, I realized, "D*mn! We have no oven!" so yesterday hubby and I bought a new one. It will be delivered next Wednesday. However will we survive?!
I am still keeping up with your blogs. And I'm thinking good thoughts for all of us. I think in 2007, we're due to have good things happen.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Ringing in 2007
2006 has come and gone, and 2007 holds... what exactly?
Good question isn't it? When you start a new year, do you (as I often do) have high hopes of "changing things"? Or making your life better? Shaking it up a little? Moving forward?
I have those sorts of hopes for this year; to leave behind the negativity that has coloured so much of my perspective for the last six or eight months. I have aspirations and dreams. I have goals. Do I believe I can achieve them? Um... sorta. Kinda. Well... I dunno. Is that good enough?
A question: Why is it that I have so much faith and hope and conviction in other people and so very little in myself? When I tell a girlfriend, "You did the right thing by standing up for yourself in that relationship," or "I really believe that for you and your husband, you will overcome the infertility problems you're facing," or "Regardless of what people tell you, you have to go with your gut feeling sometimes and just know that it will work out for the best," I truly believe those things. I have the courage of my own conviction and intuition that tells me to encourage my friends. To get behind them and give that extra little push. Yet, when it comes to pushing myself, encouraging myself, having hope for myself, I fail miserably.
Yet even with the knowledge that I have little faith for me, somewhere, deep down inside, there is a spark that refuses to die. A burning ember that urges me to go forward. Something that shows me the path.
That little tiny firey ember tells me that I need to concentrate on making ME better right now. I need to stop focussing on my fertility health and start focussing on me, as a person, and getting me back to being "normal" again, even if only for a few months.
I haven't taken one bit of medication since about December 10th, and heavens that feels glorious! I have been able to relax (thank God for that vacation in Florida). I have been able to sleep in and that feels wonderful. I have been able to set some goals and straighten out my thoughts a little more. And Lord knows, I needed to do all of that.
I suppose it's some sort of New Year's Resolution, although I despise even invoking that term, knowing that any "resolutions" that I ever set never come to fruition. So I won't call it that. I'm calling it "Time for a change; Time for me." And I'm going to focus on that time for me until about March or April of this year.
In the meantime, I have a few things to do. I am booked for a CAT scan for next Wednesday to investigate the source of recurrent sinus infections. I have to call my specialist's office to see about getting a new requisition for that CD23 bloodwork that was "deleted" when it was done in October of '06. I am embarking on a few home improvement projects (like installing laminate flooring in the spare bedrooms and sewing with my brand new sewing machine!), and I get to dote on one of my Christmas gifts, a baby Abyssinian Guinea Pig that I've named Scruffles. He's gorgeous!
What about you? What does the new year hold for you, either fertility-related or completely off the fertility path?
Good question isn't it? When you start a new year, do you (as I often do) have high hopes of "changing things"? Or making your life better? Shaking it up a little? Moving forward?
I have those sorts of hopes for this year; to leave behind the negativity that has coloured so much of my perspective for the last six or eight months. I have aspirations and dreams. I have goals. Do I believe I can achieve them? Um... sorta. Kinda. Well... I dunno. Is that good enough?
A question: Why is it that I have so much faith and hope and conviction in other people and so very little in myself? When I tell a girlfriend, "You did the right thing by standing up for yourself in that relationship," or "I really believe that for you and your husband, you will overcome the infertility problems you're facing," or "Regardless of what people tell you, you have to go with your gut feeling sometimes and just know that it will work out for the best," I truly believe those things. I have the courage of my own conviction and intuition that tells me to encourage my friends. To get behind them and give that extra little push. Yet, when it comes to pushing myself, encouraging myself, having hope for myself, I fail miserably.
Yet even with the knowledge that I have little faith for me, somewhere, deep down inside, there is a spark that refuses to die. A burning ember that urges me to go forward. Something that shows me the path.
That little tiny firey ember tells me that I need to concentrate on making ME better right now. I need to stop focussing on my fertility health and start focussing on me, as a person, and getting me back to being "normal" again, even if only for a few months.
I haven't taken one bit of medication since about December 10th, and heavens that feels glorious! I have been able to relax (thank God for that vacation in Florida). I have been able to sleep in and that feels wonderful. I have been able to set some goals and straighten out my thoughts a little more. And Lord knows, I needed to do all of that.
I suppose it's some sort of New Year's Resolution, although I despise even invoking that term, knowing that any "resolutions" that I ever set never come to fruition. So I won't call it that. I'm calling it "Time for a change; Time for me." And I'm going to focus on that time for me until about March or April of this year.
In the meantime, I have a few things to do. I am booked for a CAT scan for next Wednesday to investigate the source of recurrent sinus infections. I have to call my specialist's office to see about getting a new requisition for that CD23 bloodwork that was "deleted" when it was done in October of '06. I am embarking on a few home improvement projects (like installing laminate flooring in the spare bedrooms and sewing with my brand new sewing machine!), and I get to dote on one of my Christmas gifts, a baby Abyssinian Guinea Pig that I've named Scruffles. He's gorgeous!
What about you? What does the new year hold for you, either fertility-related or completely off the fertility path?
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Florida Vacation
So it's been a busy week. Can't you tell?
Hubby and I went with my family up to Orlando to the Magic Kingdom. A friend had requested this pic, so I thought I'd share it with you.
A smile. Yeah. And it's on MY face. Colour me surprised. That happens so rarely lately.
Hubby commented yesterday (while we sat in the hot tub with coconut rum drinks in hand) that he's seen me relax a great deal in the last week or so. Slowly but surely the heavy weight seems to be floating away.
It was until last night that is. My mom and aunts, being fans of Rod Stewart, wanted to watch the Christmas special that was on TV last night. I was wiping the table after dinner when it came on and lo and behold, the title of the Christmas special was "A Home for the Holidays," Rod Stewart's contribution to... finding homes for adopted children. I just couldn't watch. I fled to the bedroom to have a little cry, resolving myself NOT to ruin my family's vacation. Mom saw my face and followed me to the bedroom. She wrapped her arms around me and I said, "I'm sorry. I won't ruin your vacation. I won't." I sat down on the bed, head in my hands and she sat down next to me, put her hand on my back and said, "I was waiting for this. Gil... you ARE my vacation honey." Words cannot express how thankful I was at that precise moment to have my mom close to me.
She soon left and I flipped on the TV to see what ELSE was on. I came across a rerun of Reba; the episode where Reba's teenage daughter Cheyenne gives birth. Then another Christmas holiday thing; an abandoned baby on a doorstep. Then yet another Christmas thing with a child's Christmas pageant being portrayed. Argh!!!! That was when hubby and I mixed drinks and went to the hot tub. When all seems lost, coconut rum numbs the pain. Temporarily at least.
Here's hoping I can avoid the Christmas weekend touchy-feely specials that all seem to include children. My emotions can't handle that very well right now.
Sending love to you all in blogland and certainly much love to Smarshy and M at this difficult time. I hope your holidays with the Buggins bring you joy, happiness and a sense of wonderment at this special time of the year. *hugs*
Hubby and I went with my family up to Orlando to the Magic Kingdom. A friend had requested this pic, so I thought I'd share it with you.
A smile. Yeah. And it's on MY face. Colour me surprised. That happens so rarely lately.
Hubby commented yesterday (while we sat in the hot tub with coconut rum drinks in hand) that he's seen me relax a great deal in the last week or so. Slowly but surely the heavy weight seems to be floating away.
It was until last night that is. My mom and aunts, being fans of Rod Stewart, wanted to watch the Christmas special that was on TV last night. I was wiping the table after dinner when it came on and lo and behold, the title of the Christmas special was "A Home for the Holidays," Rod Stewart's contribution to... finding homes for adopted children. I just couldn't watch. I fled to the bedroom to have a little cry, resolving myself NOT to ruin my family's vacation. Mom saw my face and followed me to the bedroom. She wrapped her arms around me and I said, "I'm sorry. I won't ruin your vacation. I won't." I sat down on the bed, head in my hands and she sat down next to me, put her hand on my back and said, "I was waiting for this. Gil... you ARE my vacation honey." Words cannot express how thankful I was at that precise moment to have my mom close to me.
She soon left and I flipped on the TV to see what ELSE was on. I came across a rerun of Reba; the episode where Reba's teenage daughter Cheyenne gives birth. Then another Christmas holiday thing; an abandoned baby on a doorstep. Then yet another Christmas thing with a child's Christmas pageant being portrayed. Argh!!!! That was when hubby and I mixed drinks and went to the hot tub. When all seems lost, coconut rum numbs the pain. Temporarily at least.
Here's hoping I can avoid the Christmas weekend touchy-feely specials that all seem to include children. My emotions can't handle that very well right now.
Sending love to you all in blogland and certainly much love to Smarshy and M at this difficult time. I hope your holidays with the Buggins bring you joy, happiness and a sense of wonderment at this special time of the year. *hugs*
Friday, December 15, 2006
On an IF Break; Vacation in Florida!
Well, a vacation is a good thing, and although I'm not quite yet in "vacation" mode, I'm getting there. I think a few good long strolls on the beach will do me a world of good. It'll let me commune with nature and all that. I love to just sit on the beach and watch the tide, listen to the waves, let the sand run through my fingers. It calms me, soothes me.
Today, hubby and I went over the Sunshine Skyway in beautiful Florida down to Ellenton to do a bit of shopping. And while at the outlet stores, we happened across a bookstore that is closing up shop. All of their books were on sale; hardcovers for the low price of $4, and paperbacks for $2. We started to browse.
I think I got really lucky. (Ah, if only we could get so lucky with getting two pink lines huh?) Anyway, I bought a few references. First, I came across a little book entitled Create a Special Baby's Room. I thought it looked like a bit of fun and certainly something that I can play with, given that I got a new sewing machine for Christmas. That paperback cost me $2.
We poked around a little more. And my husband found one that he thought I would like, called A Few Good Eggs. I must say, it seems like the two co-authors have some great ideas! I'm looking forward to reading that one. It was a hardcover... $4.
The last resource we stumbled across was, for me, the motherlode. It's a book that has been recommended to me by a few other donor couples and people who've gone or investigated the donor route. It's called Helping the Stork; The Choices and Challenges of Donor Insemination. I think it will help me understand my emotions a little better. It's hard to find people who have gone the donor route, who are facing similar circumstances as my husband and I are. This book is a paperback too; $2.
Sending love to...
This week, I'd like first to thank all of you who've come by to offer your thoughts and good wishes as AF came to ruin my holiday joy. I do appreciate your sentiments, and I'm not giving up. Not yet. It wasn't easy to deal with AF, but I am not throwing in the towel. I'm a stubborn Canuck... better yet, a stubborn Newf. And I'm NOT letting IF get the better of me. Nuh uh. No way.
That said, I sure wish I were in Smarshy's wife's shoes! Lucky lady! My fingers are crossed for Smarshy and M as they see the second faint line, and wait (with much hope) for that line to darken. Oh it would be wonderful for them to get lucky! And I pray to God that they do.
Love to everyone. I think I'm gonna go soak in the hot tub. There's a daiquiri with my name on it somewhere...
Today, hubby and I went over the Sunshine Skyway in beautiful Florida down to Ellenton to do a bit of shopping. And while at the outlet stores, we happened across a bookstore that is closing up shop. All of their books were on sale; hardcovers for the low price of $4, and paperbacks for $2. We started to browse.
I think I got really lucky. (Ah, if only we could get so lucky with getting two pink lines huh?) Anyway, I bought a few references. First, I came across a little book entitled Create a Special Baby's Room. I thought it looked like a bit of fun and certainly something that I can play with, given that I got a new sewing machine for Christmas. That paperback cost me $2.
We poked around a little more. And my husband found one that he thought I would like, called A Few Good Eggs. I must say, it seems like the two co-authors have some great ideas! I'm looking forward to reading that one. It was a hardcover... $4.
The last resource we stumbled across was, for me, the motherlode. It's a book that has been recommended to me by a few other donor couples and people who've gone or investigated the donor route. It's called Helping the Stork; The Choices and Challenges of Donor Insemination. I think it will help me understand my emotions a little better. It's hard to find people who have gone the donor route, who are facing similar circumstances as my husband and I are. This book is a paperback too; $2.
Sending love to...
This week, I'd like first to thank all of you who've come by to offer your thoughts and good wishes as AF came to ruin my holiday joy. I do appreciate your sentiments, and I'm not giving up. Not yet. It wasn't easy to deal with AF, but I am not throwing in the towel. I'm a stubborn Canuck... better yet, a stubborn Newf. And I'm NOT letting IF get the better of me. Nuh uh. No way.
That said, I sure wish I were in Smarshy's wife's shoes! Lucky lady! My fingers are crossed for Smarshy and M as they see the second faint line, and wait (with much hope) for that line to darken. Oh it would be wonderful for them to get lucky! And I pray to God that they do.
Love to everyone. I think I'm gonna go soak in the hot tub. There's a daiquiri with my name on it somewhere...
Sunday, December 10, 2006
The Red Wench Arrives
Aaaaannnnndddd... bingo. The arrival of the red wench. No, I don't mean Mrs. Claus. All of you in the IF world know exactly to whom I am referring don't you? Yes indeed. She's come to ruin my joy.
All that money this month for meds and donor samples and no luck. I really thought we had a chance. I'm out for this month. And I'm out for next month too; hubby and I will be away during this cycle so unable to do anything. I need a break anyway. We still have two donor samples on ice at the doc's. And I'll take a month away from all my meds and maybe from temping too. The meds I take are not required, and were I not trying to have children, I wouldn't be taking any of them.
Thank you all for your good wishes and hopes though. Knowing you are all there beside me gives me comfort. I know you understand when the tears start to flow.
In the meantime, I thought I'd post a few of those pics of Taffy Lane. The kids really enjoyed it and so did we.
Trees and Wreaths
Taffy Lane at Christmas
Taffy Lane or Candy Cane Lane?
More candy canes!
Can you imagine the light bill?
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hannukah, etc. to all the folks in blogland. May your holidays be filled with friends, family, laughter and love. But most of all, love. Peace on Earth and goodwill to all.
P.S. I may get a chance to post from the beach in Florida; if not, I'll catch up with you all in the New Year.
All that money this month for meds and donor samples and no luck. I really thought we had a chance. I'm out for this month. And I'm out for next month too; hubby and I will be away during this cycle so unable to do anything. I need a break anyway. We still have two donor samples on ice at the doc's. And I'll take a month away from all my meds and maybe from temping too. The meds I take are not required, and were I not trying to have children, I wouldn't be taking any of them.
Thank you all for your good wishes and hopes though. Knowing you are all there beside me gives me comfort. I know you understand when the tears start to flow.
In the meantime, I thought I'd post a few of those pics of Taffy Lane. The kids really enjoyed it and so did we.
Trees and Wreaths
Taffy Lane at Christmas
Taffy Lane or Candy Cane Lane?
More candy canes!
Can you imagine the light bill?
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hannukah, etc. to all the folks in blogland. May your holidays be filled with friends, family, laughter and love. But most of all, love. Peace on Earth and goodwill to all.
P.S. I may get a chance to post from the beach in Florida; if not, I'll catch up with you all in the New Year.
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