Getting the Message Out; Covering Infertility Treatments is EXACTLY What We Need!

I had a couple of people ask about links to the podcast and articles that were uploaded after my French interview with Radio-Canada. I found two articles that discussed the interview I gave.

Traitements de fertilité : l'Ontario suivra-t-il l'exemple du Québec?
(Fertility Treatments: Will Ontario Follow Quebec's Example?)

Des couples ontariens profitent de la campagne électorale pour inciter les
trois principaux partis à offrir des traitements de fertilité gratuits, comme au
Québec.

Des milliers de couples sont infertiles en Ontario.
Une station de
radio d'Ottawa en profite d'ailleurs pour faire tirer trois traitements
gratuits.

Coût exorbitant
Il s'agit d'un concours controversé pour
plusieurs, mais pas pour Gillian Wood, d'Ottawa, qui a dépensé
38 000 dollars en traitements, avant d'accoucher d'une fille il y a
deux ans.

Elle voudrait un deuxième enfant, mais n'a pas l'argent pour
s'offrir le traitement.

Mme Wood fait partie du groupe Conceivable Dream, qui
demande aux partis ontariens de s'engager à rembourser le coût des traitements
de fertilité, comme au Québec.

L'animateur de la station privée d'Ottawa, qui
fait « tirer » un bébé, lui donne raison. « Nous espérons que le
gouvernement comprendra que cette question est importante pour beaucoup de
gens. », dit Jeff Mauler.

And the second article:
Des Ontariens reclament la gratuité de la procréation assistée
(Ontarians Demand Free Assisted Reproduction)

Des couples ontariens profitent de la campagne électorale
provinciale pour demander aux trois principaux partis la gratuité des
traitements de fertilité. D'autres provinces canadiennes ont déjà emboité le
pas. C'est le cas au Québec, où les traitements de procréation assistée sont
couverts par le Régime de l'assurance maladie depuis un an. C'est un modèle semblable que réclame le groupe
Conceivable Dream, qui demande aux partis de s'engager à payer les traitements
de fertilité.

Gagner un bébé
Une station de radio privée d'Ottawa profite
de la campagne électorale pour faire tirer un bébé. Lancé la semaine dernière,
le concours permettra au couple gagnant de se faire rembourser trois traitements
de fertilité, d'une valeur de 35 000 $. Les animateurs de la station
joignent leur voix à celle du groupe Conceivable Dream. Ils disent espérer que
le gouvernement ontarien comprendra que cette question est importante pour
beaucoup de citoyens.

Bien que le concours soit controversé, il est bien perçu
par de nouveaux parents qui ont dépensé une fortune en traitements de fertilité.
C'est le cas de Gillian Wood, du groupe Conceivable Dream. Elle croit que cela
permettra à un couple qui n'en a pas les moyens de réaliser son rêve.

"C'est une démarche coûteuse. Nous avons dû débourser environ 38 000 $ pour
avoir un premier bébé. Une somme que j'ai mise sur ma carte de
crédit."
— Gillian Wood, Conceivable Dream

Mme Wood ajoute qu'elle
voudrait un deuxième enfant, mais qu'elle ne peut tout simplement pas se
l'offrir. Elle songe même à participer au concours.

To listen to the podcast:

1. Go to the Radio-Canada website. (http://www.radio-canada.ca/regions/ottawa/bulletins.asp)




2. On the right side of the page, in the calendar, navigate to septembre 2011 (September 2011).
   



3. Again, in the calendar on the right, click on Tuesday, September 13. You will see a list of broadcasts that aired during that week.
   



4. Scroll down to mardi 13 septembre 2011 (Tuesday, September 13, 2011).
   



5. Under the Régional section, click on Bulletin régional CBOF 7 h 30.

Next Monday at 1:00 p.m., I've been asked to appear in a local French-language TV spot (Entre-Nous) discussing the issue of infertility, treatments available, Conceivable Dreams and our own story. It'll air live; I expect I'll be able to link the podcast or broadcast details at a future point. Wish me luck!

By the way, yes, I submitted our application to HOT 89.9's contest "Win a Baby." Wouldn't it be amazing to discuss infertility on the air and (hopefully) try to add to our family at the same time? Wish us luck. We'll need every bit we can get.

More on HOT 89.9's Contest to "Win a Baby!"

A couple of days ago, I read a local blogger's post (Yumi at To Infertility and Beyond) about the contest at The New HOT 89.9. She expressed her concerns extremely well I believe. In response to her concerns, I wrote the following. I wanted to post it in her comments section, and I will when I get a moment. But here are my thoughts on her points:

*****************

I understand your point of view. Absolutely. However, I do disagree on some of the issues you spoke about.

Having been part of the Conceivable Dreams brainstorming session earlier this year (see my blog post at http://thehardestquest.blogspot.com/2011/03/27-now-thats-drop.html on March 1, 2011) I spoke with the director of the OFC who was already in the process of negociating this contest at that time with HOT 89.9. Everyone at the brainstorming session, REs (including Dr. Leader), the OFC psychologist (Dr. Gervaize) patients (current and former), and those involved with the infertility awareness community were wholeheartedly in support of the initiative because it -raises- awareness. Getting the Ottawa area listeners involved and learning about their own fertility, hearing how difficult it can be for some patients, realizing that a lot of money is required and that the procedures are not covered for Ontario residents, and of course, bringing the infertility issue to the table with the Ontario election at hand, were all reasons why we thought it was a fantastic way to get people paying attention to the problem. Infertility is a health crisis in our society. One in 6 couples is infertile. And it's still such a taboo topic that people are afraid to talk about it, share their stories, lobby government for change, etc. It's slowly changing but this type of contest and the immense publicity that it entails is exactly what might help us get it out there.

I went through IVF in 2008. I've been writing an infertility blog since 2006. I've already been so very public with our struggles and sharing the stories of other blogging friends. I would truly welcome the opportunity to sit behind a microphone at HOT 89.9 and speak to the problem, raise awareness, discuss statistics and help people become aware of the process, grief, worry, fear and immense joy (or alternatively, depths of pain) that a beta test brings. I would hope that whoever wins this contest is well aware of the requirements and is willing to do the same.

The one item that I do take minor issue with is the terminology. (I'm a writer; I'm picky about stuff like that!) "Win a Baby" isn't correct of course. Because we all know that going through treatment, no matter how great the prognosis might be, well... it doesn't always yield a live birth. Good Lord no. It might yield a miscarriage. Or a tubal pregnancy requiring surgery. It may (heaven forbid) result in a stillbirth. But even those things would be helpful for the public to realize. No, it isn't win a baby... rather "win a CHANCE at having a baby". Or "Win the money to go towards trying to have a baby!" But I do see the point of view from the marketing department: "Win a Baby" just screams sensationalism and yes, controversy. As they say, any publicity is good publicity. I have to set that on the backburner and look at the contest itself. A rose by any other name...

I will be entering the contest and although I doubt I'll get far as I've already had immense success with IVF (spending almost $40K to get there), I just hope that whoever wins does a wonderful job of sharing their story and infertility issues to the public. THAT will be a success in my view.


You can find my own journal and journey at http://thehardestquest.blogspot.com/.

Thank you for writing about your point of view. Again, discussion and raising awareness is the goal so I think it's great that we can engage in this sort of chat about such an important topic.
Gil
******************************

In the last day or so, there's been a whole lot more publicity about the contest.
Ottawa Citizen
Metro
Huffington Post
Even our own Stirrup Queen posted her viewpoint! (YAY! Thank you Mel!)

As mentioned in the Ottawa Citizen:

Fertility treatments are a bizarre and simply wrong prize on many levels - the commodification of childbirth, for one. But the radio station may be on to something.

Despite the ethically questionable premise and the awkwardness of future parents having to explain their child's connection to the contest ("that's your radio station, honey, we won you in a contest"), the "win a baby" promotion may, in fact, serve a useful - if unintended - purpose when it comes to helping couples have babies, by raising awareness about how common infertility is, especially when childbearing is delayed. And the best time to start people thinking about that is early.

In fact, that is EXACTLY the intended purpose. To raise awareness. This radio station has a demographic of teenagers and mostly 20-somethings. I think they aim for the under 35 set. (I'm not their normal demographic I know, but I like the music! So sue me.)

And as Mel rightly pointed out, the posters are rather misleading. Okay, it's a downright lie. You can't actually WIN the baby. Of course not. But that is what the posters say. People believe, incorrectly, that having IVF yields a live, healthy baby. We all know this isn't true. We all know the stories of women here in our IF circles who have heartbreaking stories to tell about miscarriages or stillbirths after IVF. About tubal pregnancies. About birth defects that were unexpected. About the stress of going through the IVF in the first place!

As Mel said, the posters serve to perpetuate "this myth that fertility treatments work each and every time. That it’s closer to corrective surgery vs. a game of roulette." That's the issue I have too. Because really, IVF is roulette.

Win, and you win big.
Fail, and a piece of you dies inside.
The dreams and hopes go down the toilet.

That is exactly why I really hope that whoever wins this contest can speak to the issues and tell the real stories of how this works. Tell the listeners about the stress. The grief. The pain. The 'not knowing.' As my readers know, I spent my entire pregnancy worrying about Petite. I really did. Throughout the pregnancy, it was my goal to make it through one day at a time. Just to get from one milestone to the next. That's all I could focus on. The stress never left me at all. Up until after she was born and declared healthy and well, I worried nonstop. I held my breath as they examined her right after birth for heaven's sake, expecting the worst to happen. ALWAYS. That never goes away. Or at least, it didn't for me. Some of us are able to let go and enjoy the pregnancy and all that, but it was never me. That's for certain.

As to those who are turning away from the station, thinking that the contest is disgusting or immoral, I wonder what would happen if they watched their family dwindle in size, no children on the horizon to take on traditions. No opportunity to share family recipes. No one to share stories with around the dinner table. Are they speaking from experience? Do they realize how heartbreaking infertility is? As has been proven, studies show that being diagnosed as infertile is akin to a diagnosis of cancer. The grief is equivalent (I do not speak from experience, but I know infertiles that can on this point). The grieving process is the same.

And to the listeners who are saying, "Just adopt," well, there's a whole lot of things wrong with that statement. No, it's not the genetic link that people are necessarily searching for. But think about it for a moment. Think about the invasion of privacy that is required for the prospective parents. The exorbitant costs involved (I know one woman who paid over $60,000 to adopt a newborn). The excruciating wait that may never end; a friend of mine and her husband have been waiting for 9 years. NINE. They've not yet been 'chosen' to be adoptive parents and it breaks their hearts. Think about those who have been chosen only to have that shattering moment at the end when a birth mother changes her mind at the last minute. Literally. It's so difficult. It's more difficult to adopt than it is to do IVF. Most definitely.

As mentioned on the Conceivable Dreams' Facebook page, all listeners should be contacting our Member of the Legislative Assembly of Ontario (Find my MPP) and let them know that we shouldn't have to pin our hopes for family building on winning a radio contest.

Home

As you all know, I took Petite "home" to Newfoundland for about 11 days in August. Ah yes, when I say "home" it always means back to Newfoundland. For while I reside and work in the nation's capital, I have no family here per se, and of course, I'm a Newf first and foremost... a Canadian second. (Remember, islanders only voted 51% to 49% to join Canada in the first place.)

Anyway, back at home, our first order of business was a haircut. We saw my hairdresser. She's been doing my hair since I was 8 years old; this wonderful lady has worked on my grandmother's hair, my mother's, mine, and now my daughter's hair. Four generations. We love her so much, we invited her to our wedding. She's more of a family friend now than just a hairdresser. Bless her too; she certainly knows her craft!


This is my new nephew, dozing peacefully on a blanket at my aunt's home. He's gorgeous. And such a good baby. My sister lucked out for sure!



My dad and Petite, playing in Bowring Park. She loved getting out and stretching her legs, running and playing with Poppy!

Again, Petite and Poppy. This time, they're feeding the ducks at Quidi Vidi (pronounced "Kiddy Viddy").

Petite and Auntie B, my mom's eldest sister. We went out for brunch one morning and had a lovely time.

Another of Petite with Auntie B. Here they are in the playground area of Bowring Park. Petite really loves the 'wings'!

My BIL and sister at Middle Cove. Pretty much any evening in the summer, you can go down to Middle Cove beach and make a fire on the beach, have a 'mug up' or just s'mores and snacks with friends. A great way to spend an evening, listening to the waves roll on the beach. Middle Cove is one of my top five favourite places in the world. And I love this pic. It turned out really well with the sun's fading colours behind them.

We even brought Petite to Middle Cove to have some fun and run around, dabbling her toes and hands in the water there. She was up way past her bedtime, but it was fun. Here we are together.

While at home, my sis and I took the kids to get photos done. Here's one of the best. My nephew is about 3 months old while Petite is almost 2 years old in this one.

Voilà. Our trip home in a nutshell. Yes, we had family and friends coming and going all week. We had a get-together to celebrate my nephew's birth. Aunts flew down from New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. A cousin flew down the day I left. Another flew down two days before my sister left. We had relatives pop by to see the kids. A former co-worker of my mom's came for lunch one day too for the same thing! (It's ALL about the kids; I'm not delusional!) Auntie B bought a new house and a car (she's downsizing) and I'm told that she sold her own home this week. I missed seeing a couple of friends because of illness in the family and simply poor scheduling and commitments. Such is life.

But for all the insanity, it's still home to me. It always will be. And I miss it terribly.

I know this is more than the usual "This Moment" post. I hope that's okay. I just thought you might like to see how our holiday went.

This week, Petite's daycare is closed for vacation. So to accommodate, I'm working 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. (through lunch and everything) to get home in time for Hubby to go to work for his 3 p.m. to 11 p.m. shift. It makes for a long day. I'm really glad this is a long weekend; we can recuperate a little. But then again, LaGrande (my stepdaughter) goes back to school on Tuesday. We've got some shopping to take care of to ensure she's all ready. Wish me luck!

Oh yes! One more thing...

For those in the National Capital Region, I'm pretty sure that the recent ads I've heard on Hot 89.9, and the poster I saw while out walking two days ago, are indicative of the coming to fruition of an initiative that was discussed at the Conceivable Dreams gathering I attended earlier this year. Stay tuned for more info; I expect that "Labour Day" we may hear some more information. How apropos! :)