The Winner of "Win a Baby!" is ANNOUNCED!

This morning at 7:15, I was glued to the radio. I had to hear the results of the contest.

The New HOT 89.9 was about to announce the winner of their (controversial) contest, "Win a Baby!" And there was no way I was going to miss it.

Hubby was up and getting Petite into her jacket and sneakers, getting her ready to go with me to daycare for the day. I was ready to go out the door, purse and lunch sitting in the front hallway so we could run as soon as I heard the announcement and switched off the radio to head out for my day.

But for those few moments, I was totally engrossed in the announcement. All five couples were at the radio station, live on the air with Mauler, the host. And one or two took to the air to say thank you to the radio station for putting on the contest at all and giving them the opportunity to hope.

And then the moment of truth. Who gets to win a baby?

Mauler took the envelope from Josie, the program director at the station. He opened it and said, "The winner of the Win a Baby contest is...

...

...

all of you. You ALL get up to $35,000 worth of infertility treatments."

Many tears were shed. And I'm not talking about at the station.

In my kitchen, with Petite and Hubby watching and listening, I started to sob with relief for all of these couples. I was totally overcome with joy and hope. What an incredible gift. I knew it would be emotional and really, it didn't matter to me WHO won, just that someone, one lucky couple would get the opportunity of a lifetime.

Hearing that all five couples get that opportunity, well that just blows me away. It's wonderful. It's incredible. It's life-changing. It's a huge weight taken off their shoulders and their hopes and dreams have a place to be channeled now.

What a beautiful, wonderful thing this radio station has done for five lucky couples. Five families. Five extended families. For their friends. For everyone that surrounds them with love and hope and joy.

I clapped my hands and wept with joy for each of them. Because they now have the opportunity to try to bring a new life into this world. And that is the greatest gift of all.

Congratulations to all the winners. May the treatments succeed and may your lives be changed forever in the most wonderful of ways. I only hope you all have the blessed opportunity to have what Hubby and I have; it truly is amazing.

Who gets to "Win a Baby"? / Life's Sh*tstorm

The New HOT 89.9 is in the voting process for their sensational contest, "Win a Baby."

Alas... Hubby and I are not one of the five finalists. I wish we were. But we're not. Five couples have been chosen and while the ads on the station discuss the mountain of applications (over 400!) that came in, and the fact that they wish they could grant the wishes of every applicant, it is only the five finalist couples that have the opportunity.

So as an infertile, who is a proponent of voicing infertility issues, who is trying to raise awareness, I pass on the link to all of you, others in the community, who may wish to weigh in with your vote.

Which couple should win? Good question. I have my preferences of course, and my reasons for voting as I did. When I read the story snippets that are outlined on the radio station's website, there were things that jumped out at me, indicators, that said, "Yeah, I can relate to this couple." Or, "Not at all. This couple could do X, Y, or Z to get pregnant. They don't need IVF."

But I let you determine for yourselves. Who would you vote for? Go to The New HOT 89.9's website and read the information and cast your own vote. Keep in mind that the numbers of votes each couple receives is not visible. And in the end, the suitability of the couple will determine whether they receive treatment; just because they have the most number of votes doesn't mean automatically that they will receive the IVF treatments.

***** ***** ***** *****

In my world, I have a lot of things going on at the moment. Some aren't so positive. In fact... let's be honest. I have a fair sh*tstorm I'm dealing with right now. It's not fun. I'm tired. I'm frustrated. I could write pages and pages about the details, but should I? No. Probably not. Yes, it's what's affecting me at the moment; it IS my story right now. I can't say that it isn't my story to tell.

Mel's post today resonated with me. She talked about the "Shiny Happy Bloggers" and the need we feel to write only about the positive things in our lives, sometimes out of fear that someone will post a comment saying something to the effect of, "You have no right to feel this way and no right to complain. Look at how great your life is!"

I definitely feel that. While I recognize that many things in my life are so much better than others, there are things that aren't always great. There are tough times, believe it or not. I choose to write mainly about the positives, but there are days... dear God, there are days... *tears out hair* There are moments I want to scream and shout and hide away, because dealing with so much crap thrown at me is frustrating, draining, tiresome and it makes me angry. Right now, a professional thinks that I am dealing with much, much more than most people deal with. Certainly much more all at once than most people have to deal with. I'm generally a very positive person. I'm ambitious. I'm stubborn (to a fault) and I strive to make things work. I am logical and have rationale for my thoughts, ideas and actions. Usually. But sometimes, I just want to curl in a ball and make the world go away.

Then something makes me stop and think, "I have a beautiful little girl that loves me and who I love beyond words. Get over yourself." And I move on.

But that desire to curl in a ball still rears its head on occasion. This week is one of them. I don't know how much I want to write about it though. I should feel free to express myself on my own blog. One would think, right? I wish. I honestly do wish. Mel said it best:

Writing your way through your emotions is more important than pleasing a reader. Because at the end of the day, you shouldn’t care what I think. You shouldn’t be catering to me — you should be catering to you and what you need to say because YOUR blog is YOUR space.

Getting the Message Out; Covering Infertility Treatments is EXACTLY What We Need!

I had a couple of people ask about links to the podcast and articles that were uploaded after my French interview with Radio-Canada. I found two articles that discussed the interview I gave.

Traitements de fertilité : l'Ontario suivra-t-il l'exemple du Québec?
(Fertility Treatments: Will Ontario Follow Quebec's Example?)

Des couples ontariens profitent de la campagne électorale pour inciter les
trois principaux partis à offrir des traitements de fertilité gratuits, comme au
Québec.

Des milliers de couples sont infertiles en Ontario.
Une station de
radio d'Ottawa en profite d'ailleurs pour faire tirer trois traitements
gratuits.

Coût exorbitant
Il s'agit d'un concours controversé pour
plusieurs, mais pas pour Gillian Wood, d'Ottawa, qui a dépensé
38 000 dollars en traitements, avant d'accoucher d'une fille il y a
deux ans.

Elle voudrait un deuxième enfant, mais n'a pas l'argent pour
s'offrir le traitement.

Mme Wood fait partie du groupe Conceivable Dream, qui
demande aux partis ontariens de s'engager à rembourser le coût des traitements
de fertilité, comme au Québec.

L'animateur de la station privée d'Ottawa, qui
fait « tirer » un bébé, lui donne raison. « Nous espérons que le
gouvernement comprendra que cette question est importante pour beaucoup de
gens. », dit Jeff Mauler.

And the second article:
Des Ontariens reclament la gratuité de la procréation assistée
(Ontarians Demand Free Assisted Reproduction)

Des couples ontariens profitent de la campagne électorale
provinciale pour demander aux trois principaux partis la gratuité des
traitements de fertilité. D'autres provinces canadiennes ont déjà emboité le
pas. C'est le cas au Québec, où les traitements de procréation assistée sont
couverts par le Régime de l'assurance maladie depuis un an. C'est un modèle semblable que réclame le groupe
Conceivable Dream, qui demande aux partis de s'engager à payer les traitements
de fertilité.

Gagner un bébé
Une station de radio privée d'Ottawa profite
de la campagne électorale pour faire tirer un bébé. Lancé la semaine dernière,
le concours permettra au couple gagnant de se faire rembourser trois traitements
de fertilité, d'une valeur de 35 000 $. Les animateurs de la station
joignent leur voix à celle du groupe Conceivable Dream. Ils disent espérer que
le gouvernement ontarien comprendra que cette question est importante pour
beaucoup de citoyens.

Bien que le concours soit controversé, il est bien perçu
par de nouveaux parents qui ont dépensé une fortune en traitements de fertilité.
C'est le cas de Gillian Wood, du groupe Conceivable Dream. Elle croit que cela
permettra à un couple qui n'en a pas les moyens de réaliser son rêve.

"C'est une démarche coûteuse. Nous avons dû débourser environ 38 000 $ pour
avoir un premier bébé. Une somme que j'ai mise sur ma carte de
crédit."
— Gillian Wood, Conceivable Dream

Mme Wood ajoute qu'elle
voudrait un deuxième enfant, mais qu'elle ne peut tout simplement pas se
l'offrir. Elle songe même à participer au concours.

To listen to the podcast:

1. Go to the Radio-Canada website. (http://www.radio-canada.ca/regions/ottawa/bulletins.asp)




2. On the right side of the page, in the calendar, navigate to septembre 2011 (September 2011).
   



3. Again, in the calendar on the right, click on Tuesday, September 13. You will see a list of broadcasts that aired during that week.
   



4. Scroll down to mardi 13 septembre 2011 (Tuesday, September 13, 2011).
   



5. Under the Régional section, click on Bulletin régional CBOF 7 h 30.

Next Monday at 1:00 p.m., I've been asked to appear in a local French-language TV spot (Entre-Nous) discussing the issue of infertility, treatments available, Conceivable Dreams and our own story. It'll air live; I expect I'll be able to link the podcast or broadcast details at a future point. Wish me luck!

By the way, yes, I submitted our application to HOT 89.9's contest "Win a Baby." Wouldn't it be amazing to discuss infertility on the air and (hopefully) try to add to our family at the same time? Wish us luck. We'll need every bit we can get.

More on HOT 89.9's Contest to "Win a Baby!"

A couple of days ago, I read a local blogger's post (Yumi at To Infertility and Beyond) about the contest at The New HOT 89.9. She expressed her concerns extremely well I believe. In response to her concerns, I wrote the following. I wanted to post it in her comments section, and I will when I get a moment. But here are my thoughts on her points:

*****************

I understand your point of view. Absolutely. However, I do disagree on some of the issues you spoke about.

Having been part of the Conceivable Dreams brainstorming session earlier this year (see my blog post at http://thehardestquest.blogspot.com/2011/03/27-now-thats-drop.html on March 1, 2011) I spoke with the director of the OFC who was already in the process of negociating this contest at that time with HOT 89.9. Everyone at the brainstorming session, REs (including Dr. Leader), the OFC psychologist (Dr. Gervaize) patients (current and former), and those involved with the infertility awareness community were wholeheartedly in support of the initiative because it -raises- awareness. Getting the Ottawa area listeners involved and learning about their own fertility, hearing how difficult it can be for some patients, realizing that a lot of money is required and that the procedures are not covered for Ontario residents, and of course, bringing the infertility issue to the table with the Ontario election at hand, were all reasons why we thought it was a fantastic way to get people paying attention to the problem. Infertility is a health crisis in our society. One in 6 couples is infertile. And it's still such a taboo topic that people are afraid to talk about it, share their stories, lobby government for change, etc. It's slowly changing but this type of contest and the immense publicity that it entails is exactly what might help us get it out there.

I went through IVF in 2008. I've been writing an infertility blog since 2006. I've already been so very public with our struggles and sharing the stories of other blogging friends. I would truly welcome the opportunity to sit behind a microphone at HOT 89.9 and speak to the problem, raise awareness, discuss statistics and help people become aware of the process, grief, worry, fear and immense joy (or alternatively, depths of pain) that a beta test brings. I would hope that whoever wins this contest is well aware of the requirements and is willing to do the same.

The one item that I do take minor issue with is the terminology. (I'm a writer; I'm picky about stuff like that!) "Win a Baby" isn't correct of course. Because we all know that going through treatment, no matter how great the prognosis might be, well... it doesn't always yield a live birth. Good Lord no. It might yield a miscarriage. Or a tubal pregnancy requiring surgery. It may (heaven forbid) result in a stillbirth. But even those things would be helpful for the public to realize. No, it isn't win a baby... rather "win a CHANCE at having a baby". Or "Win the money to go towards trying to have a baby!" But I do see the point of view from the marketing department: "Win a Baby" just screams sensationalism and yes, controversy. As they say, any publicity is good publicity. I have to set that on the backburner and look at the contest itself. A rose by any other name...

I will be entering the contest and although I doubt I'll get far as I've already had immense success with IVF (spending almost $40K to get there), I just hope that whoever wins does a wonderful job of sharing their story and infertility issues to the public. THAT will be a success in my view.


You can find my own journal and journey at http://thehardestquest.blogspot.com/.

Thank you for writing about your point of view. Again, discussion and raising awareness is the goal so I think it's great that we can engage in this sort of chat about such an important topic.
Gil
******************************

In the last day or so, there's been a whole lot more publicity about the contest.
Ottawa Citizen
Metro
Huffington Post
Even our own Stirrup Queen posted her viewpoint! (YAY! Thank you Mel!)

As mentioned in the Ottawa Citizen:

Fertility treatments are a bizarre and simply wrong prize on many levels - the commodification of childbirth, for one. But the radio station may be on to something.

Despite the ethically questionable premise and the awkwardness of future parents having to explain their child's connection to the contest ("that's your radio station, honey, we won you in a contest"), the "win a baby" promotion may, in fact, serve a useful - if unintended - purpose when it comes to helping couples have babies, by raising awareness about how common infertility is, especially when childbearing is delayed. And the best time to start people thinking about that is early.

In fact, that is EXACTLY the intended purpose. To raise awareness. This radio station has a demographic of teenagers and mostly 20-somethings. I think they aim for the under 35 set. (I'm not their normal demographic I know, but I like the music! So sue me.)

And as Mel rightly pointed out, the posters are rather misleading. Okay, it's a downright lie. You can't actually WIN the baby. Of course not. But that is what the posters say. People believe, incorrectly, that having IVF yields a live, healthy baby. We all know this isn't true. We all know the stories of women here in our IF circles who have heartbreaking stories to tell about miscarriages or stillbirths after IVF. About tubal pregnancies. About birth defects that were unexpected. About the stress of going through the IVF in the first place!

As Mel said, the posters serve to perpetuate "this myth that fertility treatments work each and every time. That it’s closer to corrective surgery vs. a game of roulette." That's the issue I have too. Because really, IVF is roulette.

Win, and you win big.
Fail, and a piece of you dies inside.
The dreams and hopes go down the toilet.

That is exactly why I really hope that whoever wins this contest can speak to the issues and tell the real stories of how this works. Tell the listeners about the stress. The grief. The pain. The 'not knowing.' As my readers know, I spent my entire pregnancy worrying about Petite. I really did. Throughout the pregnancy, it was my goal to make it through one day at a time. Just to get from one milestone to the next. That's all I could focus on. The stress never left me at all. Up until after she was born and declared healthy and well, I worried nonstop. I held my breath as they examined her right after birth for heaven's sake, expecting the worst to happen. ALWAYS. That never goes away. Or at least, it didn't for me. Some of us are able to let go and enjoy the pregnancy and all that, but it was never me. That's for certain.

As to those who are turning away from the station, thinking that the contest is disgusting or immoral, I wonder what would happen if they watched their family dwindle in size, no children on the horizon to take on traditions. No opportunity to share family recipes. No one to share stories with around the dinner table. Are they speaking from experience? Do they realize how heartbreaking infertility is? As has been proven, studies show that being diagnosed as infertile is akin to a diagnosis of cancer. The grief is equivalent (I do not speak from experience, but I know infertiles that can on this point). The grieving process is the same.

And to the listeners who are saying, "Just adopt," well, there's a whole lot of things wrong with that statement. No, it's not the genetic link that people are necessarily searching for. But think about it for a moment. Think about the invasion of privacy that is required for the prospective parents. The exorbitant costs involved (I know one woman who paid over $60,000 to adopt a newborn). The excruciating wait that may never end; a friend of mine and her husband have been waiting for 9 years. NINE. They've not yet been 'chosen' to be adoptive parents and it breaks their hearts. Think about those who have been chosen only to have that shattering moment at the end when a birth mother changes her mind at the last minute. Literally. It's so difficult. It's more difficult to adopt than it is to do IVF. Most definitely.

As mentioned on the Conceivable Dreams' Facebook page, all listeners should be contacting our Member of the Legislative Assembly of Ontario (Find my MPP) and let them know that we shouldn't have to pin our hopes for family building on winning a radio contest.

HOT 89.9; Win a Baby

You read that right. You can WIN a baby.

For those of us in the Ottawa area, my hunch was right. The local radio station, The New HOT 89.9, is sponsoring a contest. And the winner can WIN A BABY.

Okay, not a baby per se. Though the bus shelter ads are pretty neat, there's a disclaimer that the baby pictured not be exactly as shown! But the winner can win up to three fertility treatment procedures at the Ottawa Fertility Centre up to $35,000 in total.

Here's how it works:

Between Labour Day (appropriate!) and September 28, listeners in the Ottawa area can apply for the contest by going to the website and filling out the form. Early in October, a Judging Panel will review the submissions and select five finalists (and one alternate). On Friday, September 30, those five finalists will be announced and their stories will be shared on the air. Listeners will then be invited to visit the station's website to vote for their choice of finalists. On Monday, October 10, the winner will be announced and they will have one year to follow up with the OFC for treatment, and their story shared with the listening audience.

Rest assured: I'll be applying. I am sure I have a hope in hell of winning.

Think about it. They're going to want some young, pretty thing, newly married, who's been trying for a couple of years with no luck and no money to ever get lucky. They're not going to choose someone with failed vasectomy reversals, with PCOS and hypothyroidism, who already did IVF for one child and now "only wants to have a second baby to be greedy."

Seriously. I figure that's probably how they'll see it. But I have to hope. Because this year, we've had a LOT of crap thrown at us and we're still surviving. We're still here. We ARE going to make it. We don't have the finances that we once did (and that is preventing us from moving ahead right now) but we're still holding on. So the possibility of The New HOT 89.9 being my financial stork? Hell ya. I'm good with that.

I'm working on my application right now. I promise I'll keep you posted.