Time Alone Recap

FYI: Children mentioned in this post. Click away if you need to.

I survived my weekend alone. In fact, I LOVED my weekend alone. The silence was deafening at first, but I quickly got the hang of things and I was really productive. I made a huge list of all the things I got done while Hubby and Petite were away. It's rather impressive, I must admit. There was more that I wanted to do, but I did want to enjoy some "me" time too you know! I wasn't going to devote EVERY minute to cleaning, tidying and running errands! And you know something? I barely had a drop of any wine after all. I guess I was just too busy doing the things that needed my attention.

Some of the highlights:
Cleaned the living room and the bathroom from top to bottom! What a difference!
Donated a bunch of bedding and towels to the humane society, and I had a look around while I was there. Oh, what I wouldn't do to adopt a bunch of the little kittens or even the older cats. They're gorgeous. My heart just about broke, as it always does around animals who need loving homes.
Cleaned up the front garden and put out a bin of leaves and other organic matter for the trash/recycling.
Put up the greenery and Christmas lights. The weather was beautiful for doing that; I didn't freeze while I was doing it, for a change!
I managed to get out with a girlfriend to dinner and a movie. That was lots of fun. We saw Tower Heist. A good, fun, mindless film. Perfect.
I got in GAME! Woot! It was lots of fun running around with a couple of friends. I do miss that. (FYI, for new readers, I play EverQuest II, and I have since its launch in 2004, having also played EverQuest from 2001-04.)
And of course, I spent time on the phone with my family and Petite and Hubby.

She had a wonderful time. She happily skipped down the ramp with Daddy to the plane and upon arrival at my parents' home at almost 2 a.m., she found her second wind and got a snack and wanted to play with everyone! She did extremely well on the plane. She loved her time playing hockey with her poppy. She baked cookies with Nana. She fed the duckies with my two aunts. They lavished attention and presents on her (new clothes, some toys, boots, etc.)

Take a look at her new coat! I think it's sweet.



All in all, they had a glorious time. And I'm glad. Hubby needed the time with her, because usually I'm the one who gets that. I have had plenty of opportunities to bond with her on vacations while he has not. Although it was only a few days, I am a firm believer that something is better than nothing.

I recognize how lucky we are. She is a beautiful little girl. She is happy. She is healthy. She is loving and giving. She adores snuggling on the couch before bed. She is content when she listens to me read to her, or sing to her. She has a great sense of humour for only two years old. She is kind. She is adventurous and open. I have to say, her personality is just simply AMAZING. Yes, there are miserable moments, like with any toddler. But on the whole, she is a wonderful sweet girl. Everyone just falls in love with her. And my family loves her to pieces. They really do. How lucky I am that they are able to enjoy her as much as they do and are still around to be able to do that!? I thank my lucky stars on a daily basis. I do.

I truly do.

And yet...

I still want to give Petite a sibling.

I think it's partly because she IS such a loving, giving, caring little girl that I want to give her the opportunity to love a sibling too.

Is that wrong? Is it greedy to want another one? (Is it stupid of me to think it's 'greedy' because any fertile person wouldn't be considered greedy for wanting a second child...) Is it bad to tempt fate? We got lucky with IVF #1... there's no way it would work as quickly again. And if it did, who's to say it would be a good pregnancy again? Or a healthy baby? Ugh. So many "ifs" in the picture.

Forget it anyway; I simply don't have the money to do it right now. We just don't. I wish I did. God knows, I wish I did. I want to push forward and have a try for a second child. But even if we found the money now, the timing would have to be perfect; two little ones in full-time daycare in our city would cost an absolute fortune. More than my mortgage, that's for certain!

But time slips by. I am growing older. I don't have it in me to wait much longer and still hope to do this. The trickle of hope is fading.

I fear this sweet little girl will never have a baby brother or sister in her life. That saddens me. I am trying to come to grips with it, but some part of me is in denial, forcing my brain to remain open to the idea that it MIGHT happen. No, it's not possible for Hubby and me to conceive naturally. It simply isn't because of our medical histories. So it has to be IVF. Do I have it in me? I don't know. I fear facing it again. I fear facing a negative when we got so lucky the first time. So many fears. I'm not handling it well right now.

A New School Year Begins

Children are mentioned in this post; I feel I've been slack about noting that. So I'm going to try to be more diligent about mentioning it.

School started yesterday for the 2011–12 year. I'll be honest, I've rarely paid attention to the new school year starting. I mean seriously, when would an infertile take time to focus on an activity/event that is specifically for or about children? Once in awhile, I'd go shopping with my girlfriend's daughter for new school clothes. But other than that, I've largely ignored school schedules, bussing information, registration, dates, etc. However, all that has changed.

My stepdaughter, LaGrande, moved in with her dad and me over the summer. She is in her senior year of high school and she changed schools (and school boards) for her final year. This was at her impetus; her dad and I made sure she was aware that she could stay at her old school if she wanted to. She was anxious and excited about a new start and I hope she makes the most of the opportunity. Both her dad and I (and her mom too) are trying to give her what she needs to move forward and do great things with her life. Now if I could just get her to tidy her room!

Another great thing: she's been looking for a job over the summer and yesterday, a local party store called to speak to her about a possibility. She hopes to connect with them today. I am keeping my fingers crossed for her. Think good thoughts for her please!

Because of Hubby's current schedule (he works 3 p.m. to 11 p.m. every day) I fear I'm not going to be able to rejoin the church choir this fall. I wish I could. LaGrande offered to babysit on Thursday evenings while I'm at choir, but that means I'd be taking her away from her studies. And frankly, in her senior year, I want to give her the absolute BEST chance at getting good marks. So I don't want to take advantage of her like that or put her in a tough position right off the bat. If perchance it works out that Thursday evenings she's a little more free, then I may take her up on it. But for now, I fear I'm going to have to keep to the strict routine I have going for myself and Petite so we can make this work for everyone and help LaGrande get great marks too. As well, with some luck, she will have a job for the fall and winter, I need to give her time and space to apply herself to that responsibility and learn to earn her way in life. So it was with regret that I sent an e-mail to the choir director and apologized profusely for not being able to attend at the moment. I will miss it; I really enjoyed it very much. I'm not giving it up entirely as I hope to join along later in the year. But for now, it just won't work. Maybe Hubby's schedule will change later on and that might let me attend. To be continued, I'm sure.

Petite returned to daycare yesterday after it was closed for vacation last week. This week, a new little girl has joined the daycare. Things are changing there and the coming months will see Petite losing a friend or two at daycare and gaining two more. You see, here's who the daycare provider had last year:

All Day

1. Petite (1 year)


2. N (boy; 2 years)


3. O (boy; 3 years)


4. K (boy; 4 years... daycare provider's son who went to school for half a day)

Before and After School

1. R (girl; 6 years)


2. C (boy; 8 years and R's brother)


3. N (boy: 7 years, daycare provider's middle son)


4. M (boy; 11 years, daycare provider's oldest son)

So Petite had three little boys around her all day long. This summer, O was switched to another daycare that had hours which coincide with the school he'll be attending. Now, in the fall, the youngest boy, N, is going to change providers too as he's almost three and able to go to some structured classes at the private school where he'll be going. And K, the daycare provider's youngest son is now in school full time. Poor Petite is going to be all alone!

But over the summer, two more little girls joined the flock! M started at the daycare yesterday; she's about 20 months so very close in age to Petite. Petite already wanted to share her sleep stuffie Pooh Bear with M at nap time yesterday. I expect they'll be close as they get to know each other better. And in about a month's time, another little girl, A, will join the crew. She's only one year old though... so Petite goes from being the youngest to the oldest in one fell swoop! I trust she will be good and caring with the smaller ones. She shows so much concern for others and is genuinely touched by their emotions. It's sweet.

A HUGE development yesterday:
Petite did Number 2 in the toilet! She went with LaGrande to go to the potty when prompted (she's still in diapers, but learning how to read the cues and express her needs) and when she sat down, she said, "Poo poo" and she held LaGrande's hand and did a poop in the toilet! I was so happy for her! She knows she gets smarties when uses the toilet and I obliged quite happily. I gave her a huge hug, picked her up and hugged her tight, kissing her. I told her, "We're going to have to go shopping for panties soon!" She repeated with a grin, "Panties!" and clapped her hands. My gosh. I can't believe it. I,m so thrilled that she's getting it! Good for her!

Halloween is fast approaching. Petite has already expressed a desire to be either a ghost or a monkey. Both of which she can certainly do well, as her "Boo" and "Ee ee, ooooh, ooooh" are perfected. I mentioned it to my sister and bless her, she found a great monkey costume for a wonderful price and picked it up for us! YAY! A monkey it is! When I get the costume, I'll dress Petite in it and have her practice! It should be cute! We'll have to visit some friends and certainly the daycare. We'll pop around to a few houses too. I love to decorate for Halloween. It's been hard though; we live on a dead-end street (a cul-de-sac). And many people around us are older or retired and they don't celebrate. So we've had NO kids visit our house for Halloween in recent years. It just isn't a good area for Trick-or-Treating. But we have Petite now. So even if no one comes to our house, we'll have to make a point of decorating anyway and we'll make sure she gets to go Trick-or-Treating. I remember enjoying Halloween so much as a child. I want to make it special for her too.

The weather is changing. We're thinking about closing our pool. Our windows get closed at night these days. I've had to wear a light jacket to work in the mornings. I'm rummaging for shoes that are not sandals! And the provincial election is on the horizon. More about that to come. I saw the first signs posted in my neighborhood on the way to work this morning. I'll muse on the election in the coming days and the hopes that I have for the radio contest mentioned in the last post, as I expect the topic of infertility to be raised this time around.

I hope everyone out in Blogland has had a good summer. Mine was tough and not that great. But we move on and we get ready for fall activities and events and the coming hibernation of winter. May it bring better things for everyone. Love to all.

{This Moment}

{this moment} – A Friday ritual inspired by Finding Chaos/SouleMama.

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savour and remember.

If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’

in the comments for all to find and see.

Recent Goings-On

A post in points today. My brain is a bit scattered.

• Last week was a week from hell. Sunday, Petite started the week off with a cough/cold that turned into croup on Monday. Tuesday, our minivan died on the highway as Hubby was driving to an exam. He got it towed and I met him at the garage, sick Petite in tow, Hubby drove us home and took the little car to the exam. He just made it in time. Wednesday, I came down with a miserable cold; Petite passed it along. Thursday, I was still home sick, Petite was getting better, the van was still dead (and it needs a new camshaft... a $1000 repair on a vehicle that is barely worth $2000) and then Hubby came down with the cold. Dear Lord. Enough!
  
  So that leaves us car shopping. It'll be a used car this time around, something to get us through to when Hubby is finished his education and (hopefully) working full-time. At which point we'll actually look at buying exactly what we want and need.
  
  
• This Friday, our choir is singing at the Ottawa 67s hockey game, which will be nationally televised. We got tickets for us, Hubby's kids, my friend and her daughter, and two other friends and their kids will come too. The choir and our friends/family occupy one entire section of the arena. Should be fun.
  
  
• I'm absolutely devastated by the images coming out of Japan. I used to live in southern Japan between 1993 and 1996 and I have a lot of friends there. Some of those friends have since moved to the island of Honshu and I have yet to hear from them. I have heard from my 'Japanese family' (a family with whom I became very close when I lived there) and they are all fine. I also heard from one of the teachers I used to teach with: she lives on the coast and she said while they had a tsunami, it was quite small compared to what she is seeing on TV. However, one of her friends was caught in the quake and eventually had to walk home from her workplace: it took her almost 9 hours to make the trek on foot. But she made it. I also heard from my Japanese ex-boyfriend and he and his entire family are safe. So I'm still waiting for news from a couple of teachers/friends. I am just crossing my fingers that they haven't had time to check their e-mail yet.
  
  Regardless, the images of the devastation are heartbreaking. I heard about the quake on Friday as I was getting ready for work. Hubby came and told me that Japan had an earthquake that was 8.9 and it was just north of Tokyo. I started to shake and cry. I still can't believe it.
  
  
• This week is March Break for most schools in the province. I still have to work though, and Petite is still at daycare. However, her daycare provider has organized a week full of fun for all of them. Get this: they have a day to "dress like a rock star" (Monday), wear summer clothes and a have a picnic (Tuesday), wear your favourite hockey jersey (Wednesday -- she'll lend one to Petite as we haven't bought her one yet. How terrible of us Canadian parents! LOL), wear green for St. Patrick's Day (Thursday), come in your Pajamas and watch a movie day (Friday). It promises to be lots of fun!
  
  
• Petite adores the cats. Dear Lord, she adores the cats. She pounces on them at every opportunity, trying to pick them up, laying on them, hugging them, crawling under the table after them, etc. I'm thinking she adores them a little too much: she's started eating their food! Poor little underpriviliged child! LOL No joke. I mean, I knew that I'd find her trying to eat their dry food out of their dish and all, but last week's trick just took the cake.
  
  She had been playing with one of her books and a tuft of fur from the "Touch and Feel Lion" was pulled out. She came to me, tuft between her fingers, saying, "garbage." "Yes," I replied, "garbage. Go put it in the garbage. Mets-le dans la poubelle!" (I repeat things in French for her so she hears both languages.) She trots back to the kitchen, out of my sight and I heard her lift the garbage lid. I continued with what I was doing in the living room and next thing I know, I hear, slurp, slurp, slurp. My eyes widen as I realize she's licking something and I cringed as I jumped up to check it out.
  
  Stuck on her face, her two little hands holding it up, is an empty cat food can that had been in the garbage can! ICK!!!! OMG I just grimaced and made a terrible face, telling her, "No no, that's the cat food. C'est pour les chats. Mets-le dans la poubelle!" I just about screeched in disgust! Can you imagine!? Now, I realize that consuming cat food won't hurt her per se, but it really isn't the kind of diet I wanted to raise her on!! Sheesh! And I was more worried about her possibly cutting her tongue on the edge of the container than the fact that she was licking the can. Either way, it was just GROSS. I shuddered, visibly, as I got her a little bowl of Goldfish crackers to munch on instead. YUCK. I told the story to Hubby and of course, he just laughed his ass off. So did my sis. Nice. How nice. ICK. *shudders again*

Anyway folks, Happy March Break. I hope you all enjoyed your pancakes last week on Shrove Tuesday; we did. I still love the tradition. And if perchance you can cut me a deal on a used car that we'll have for 1-2 years before trading it in, lemme know. We need a car before Friday or I'll have to find a way to get to the hockey game on my own steam I think!

Happy New Year! And OMG, what have I missed?!

Well now, 2011 has been ushered in and we're off and running again, aren't we? I don't know what sort of break you had over the holidays, but my ten-day vacation away seems like it was a lifetime ago, and I've only been back for a little over 30 hours! Yikes. Anyway, I'll touch on the holiday stuff in the next post, I promise.

So at the moment, here are some of the topics that I'm mulling over or that have affected me in some way:

Going through my mail yesterday, I received a lovely Christmas card from Vee and her little Boo. Opening it, a sweet wooden-bead bracelet fell out and Vee had written a note about how she had been wanting to send me one (we had talked about it quite some time ago). It's from the Rainbows for Kate foundation, which promotes awareness of sarcoma cancers. I immediately put the bracelet on and as I did, I shed tears for Vee's husband and Boo's daddy, Max, who passed away in 2010. I smiled through the tears and touched each of the beads of the bracelet. Max will never be forgotten and I know Vee strives to keep Max in their lives... most recently by sharing Max's love of the beach with their little Boo. (How I love the photos Vee posts!) Anyway, the card was sweet and the bracelet, very touching. I think of them often. Thank you Vee for sending that! You're such a sweetheart!

I missed the annual blog delurking week. Aw poop. That sorta sucks, as there are some blogs I've been reading fairly frequently and hope to comment on, but I just rarely get the time. I never get online in the evening after Petite goes to bed (I haven't even logged into my online game in more than six weeks!) so some of you don't even know that I'm reading! I must try to do better. I have to. That said, if perchance you're reading my blog, feel free to delurk and say hello; it's nice to know that someone's still out there.

I got the test results back from my HbA1C test; the number was 0.056 which is perfectly normal, aka not diabetic... not a surprise to me really, but it always seems to be to my doctors. They look at me and see that I am overweight and immediately assume: "Ha, Type 2 diabetes!" Guess what folks? I've been this way all my life! My weight never suddenly crept up on me. It never just "appeared" after a time of stress in my life. It never manifested quickly for any reason. IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THERE. This is me folks. This is the way I've always been. Yes, I'm overweight, and always have been. And my bloodwork is totally NORMAL. SO STOP ASKING. Ugh.

More good news: about the endometrial biopsy... totally normal. No sign of anything that might cause issues or cancer in the future. I'm still taking the provera from CD12 to 25 (as directed), but this month, AF is disturbingly absent. Very odd. Obviously I can't be p/g, so I'm thinking it's just a long cycle, and prolonged by the provera usage. I had some spotting last week on the cruise, but it was super light. I didn't even count it as a cycle... I'm still counting days. Today is CD 35. That ain't normal for me at all. I'll see how it goes.

Anyway, with those two tests back, and both results are normal, our next step is to call the doctor in Montreal again and we'll see where we go from here. With luck, we can get in on a calendar before mid-year. I'll give him a call when we finish unpacking from the trip and get our Christmas decorations down and packed away for another year.

Petite has learned to give kisses. Open-mouthed kisses, but it is so lovely! The other day, Hubby was going out and I was getting Petite down for her nap. Hubby kissed Petite, and then me. She was lying in my arms and watched Hubby and I kiss. She immediately parroted the gesture. She leaned up to my face, touched her lips to mine and lay back down in my arms. I smiled at her sweetness, and she did it again. Repeatedly. About 10 or 12 times in succession, she gave me kisses and each one was cherished and precious. Last night, she was playing and stopped, looked up at me, got up and came over to where I was sitting and leaned up for kisses. And we repeated that process a few more times before she was satisfied. She's so sweet.

It was marvelously wonderful to see my sister and her husband. As of today, my sis is 22 weeks along and showing rather nicely. I brought her my two bella bands so that she can comfortably wear some of her own clothing a little longer, though she has some lovely maternity pieces in her wardrobe now. And she bought a few spring/summer ones while we were away; I expect she'll need them in West Virginia in the months of April and May, before she delivers.

I came back from our vacation to a few messages on our machine, one from Petite's caregiver who wanted to let me know that Fifth Disease (aka Slapped-Cheek Syndrome) is in her house. I did a little research, as I'd never really heard much about it before moving to Ontario from the east coast. From what I've read, it's nothing really serious for a child, so after keeping Petite home yesterday (I waited until the caregiver had a diagnosis from her kids' physician) I brought Petite back to daycare today. She was happy to be back there and playing contentedly with her friends when I left. With a bit of luck, she won't be exposed to it; apparently after the rash appears, the contagious stage is past. Depending on if anyone else is in the incubation stage, she may come down with it, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
For those wondering, here are some resources for you:
Medic 8 (http://www.medic8.com/healthguide/articles/slappedcheekdis.html)
Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erythema_infectiosum)
CDC (http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dvrd/revb/respiratory/parvo_b19.htm)
Web MD (http://children.webmd.com/tc/fifth-disease-topic-overview)

Mel has worked wonders yet again. My God, that woman is tireless isn't she?! God love her for that. The Crème de la crème is up and running for a 5th year in a row. There are some fantastic pieces in there that deserve a second (or perhaps a first?) read. I hope to read a couple of posts a day and eventually get through the entire list. This is the first year I've participated but I hope that it won't be the last. With luck, I'll find a few new blogs to enjoy and maybe someone finds a connection to my blog and joins along. We have such an amazing community and I'm honoured to be just one little tiny part of it.

And a shout out to my neighbor, Marc, for being so kind and good and taking care of our two cats and one guinea pig while we were away. I am always grateful and humbled that I have such wonderful neighbors. Thank you Marc, for doing this. Your help has been immense and we are thankful.

Welcome 2011! I hope the year holds joy, love, peace, prosperity, fun and friendship for one and all. Love to all my blogging buddies!

A Post in Points

My brain is scattered this week. So I guess this post will be pretty scattered too. No, I won't apologize for that; it is my blog after all and as such, I get to say what I want here. Deal.

• I'm frustrated with the program that Hubby is doing at school. Well, not with that program specifically, but with the lack of information from Service Canada about Hubby's Employment Insurance claims. Every time he calls for info (and that's been repeatedly during the summer!) he gets a different story. It's maddening. And right now, they've stopped all payments to his account, hus I'm budgeting extremely carefully. Right down to the dollar in fact. And remember, Petite's in daycare so we have to make sure that gets paid of course! That's a must!
  
  
• My right foot is in an aircast. On June 12, I injured my right heel; it was swollen and painful and there was a bump at the back of my heel. After a week, I went to see my GP. She diagnosed bursitis and told me that wearing open-backed shoes would help, physio would help, ice and rest would help and here... take these anti-inflammatory meds for 10 days. A month later, still in pain, I returned to her. She examined me again and said that now, there's an Achilles tendon problem as well. This time, she told me to wear shoes with heels. And here's a different anti-inflammatory but it probably won't do anything if the first one didn't. More rest, get that physio, etc. I sorta shook my head in disbelief. All along, I'm trying to walk and stretch it out, give it some rest (when I can; remember I drive 1 hour to work each way, and need that foot to drive) but the pain is still ever-present. Fast forward: Tuesday past. I went to a walk hobble-in clinic and talked to another doctor. I wanted X-rays to make sure the bone wasn't chipped or fractured. X-rays done the doc beckons me back to a room. "This is a chronic injury. You have a severely compromised and fragile Achilles tendon and now a bone spur." Ugh. He recommended physio, rest, ice, crutches and/or a walking air cast. Rest and ice I can do in spurts at home. Crutches... no. I have a one-year old. Physio... no. (See the above paragraph about my careful budgeting.) An air cast it is. He figures I'll need at least 3 weeks in it to properly rest the tendo and give it the healing time it needs. Not fun.
  
  
• Tomorrow, September 18, 2010 is one to be marked in my family. My sister turns 39 (whoop it up now sis, your time is coming too!) and my parents will celebrate 45 years together. They didn't want to do anything special to celebrate really. I figure my sis and I have five years to plan for the big celebration! Regardless, it's wonderful that they're able to celebrate so many years together. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad! And Happy 39th Little Sis! I love you all so very much and I wish I could be closer to celebrate with you in person.
  
  
• This morning, on my way to work, a wolf ran across the road in front of me. I don't think it was a coyote; I'm not entirely sure though. I suppose it could have been. I saw it at a point along the backroads that I drive, where the leaves have begun to fall from the trees and the brush isn't quite as thick. The weather has certainly turned colder in the last week or two. We roasted all summer long and now with the change of seasons, my thoughts turn to other things. Cozy sweaters and warm, wool scarves. Thick stews and homemade soups. Thanksgiving on the horizon on October 11 (it's earlier in Canada, because obviously our harvest season is earlier, being further north). Our tradition of going to Saunders Farm with the kids and friends for Halloween. Preparing for my mom and aunt's arrival mid-October. Closing up the pool, which we definitely need to do ASAP. Covering our shrubs and taking in the patio furniture. Getting ready for when the snow flies all around. And then Christmas, and where, oh where are we going to put the Christmas tree this year!!?? Eeek! Petite will have it torn apart! I think I'm going to have to rearrange the living room for the holidays.
  
  
• My thoughts are also with Vee as the thinks about whether she ought to downsize and move to be closer to her family. Given my last post, obviously I understand where she's coming from. As Bea said in Vee's comments, there are lots of types of support, emotional and practical. And sometimes we just need to have physical closeness to the important people in our lives. Oh I hear that loud and clear! I can relate. I hope whatever decision Vee makes, she gets the support that she needs. Obviously she's far from me so I can't help her with that type of support either. But I am definitely thinking of her and I know she'll do whatever is right for her and Bubbaboo.
  
  
• Also thinking of Holly who contacted me by e-mail. She's about 15 weeks along and dealing with a subchorionic bleed and a high risk for Down Syndrome (1:155 I think. Don't quote me.) She was asking me about how I determined I wanted the amniocentesis (my ratio was 1:75 if you remember) and what ratio I, personally, would have been comfortable with. She and her husband are grappling with that question right now and she, like me, is terrified of having the amnio and losing her baby in the process. I can certainly relate. I hope she and her husband make the right decision for them, whatever it might be. And something that helped me is... will knowing the result determine your course of action? That's the one question that kept me going. And holding the pic of Petite in my hand as the procedure was done. Sure I cried all the way through it. But we made it. And I am sure Holly could get through it too. Sending hugs Holly; I'll reply to your last e-mail in a day or so. Promise.
  
  
• And my heart aches for Sprogblogger. Oh, how I cried this morning as I read her post. She is due to have her baby on September 18. And her due date is the same day that her brother will bury his son, her nephew. And she is heartbroken that she cannot be there for her family on the other side of the country right now as they mourn such a terrible loss. The sweet little boy, a mere four years old (and autistic) climbed over a supposedly childproof fence and fell into the backyard swimming pool. Sprogblogger's brother gave his son CPR until paramedics arrived, and the doctors thought he might pull through. Alas... as she writes, "in the end, his little body had just been through too much. They let him go yesterday, surrounded by family and friends, held tight in the arms of his father and mother." I cried and cried. And I am reminded of my own mother's intense fears surrounding the fact that we too have a pool in our backyard. While I do my utmost to protect Petite (obviously), accidents CAN happen. Honestly, I couldn't fathom something like that happening; I don't know if I would get through it. Please God, I'll never have to find out if I would. It does scare me. But I can only do my absolute best to ensure that Petite is safe. Sure it worries me. Maybe after Hubby finishes his education, we'll be living elsewhere anyway. Regardless, today Sprogblogger is mourning the senseless loss of her little nephew. Go show her some love and let her know you care.
  
  
• Irritation is at an all-time high at my office. I won't get into details. Suffice it to say, some people are incompetent. Others are downright rude. And I have to say, some others are engaging in what I would term as harrassment (but you might not). Not cool. Not cool at all. I continue to keep my eyes open for other opportunities, specifically at home. Wouldn't that be nice? Ah, pipe dreams my friends. However, I get my work done and do my day and try to stay away from the D.R.A.M.A. And when needed, I point to the trusty sign on my wall to remind people that "A lack of preparation on your behalf does not constitute an emergency on mine."
  
  
• Early in December, I'd like to go see Great Big Sea. They're coming as part of the tour to promote "Safe Upon The Shore" (thank you to my Aunt B who bought it for us while I was home this summer). Must try to find a babysitter for that if we can swing it to budget in the cost of the tickets.
  
  
• Petite is still loving daycare. We're lucky she enjoys it so much! I need to try to find some waterproof splash pants and such for her. Her jeans and pants are getting damp with the cooler weather because she frequently ends up on her bum! On October 8, our caregiver would like to extend her Thanksgiving weekend and go out of town to watch her older son play hockey. I'll probably take a day off and extend my Thanksgiving weekend too so I can spend it with Petite.
  
  
• And would you believe that my Blogoversary is coming up next week on the 23rd? Four years. For four years I've been blogging about infertility and our personal journey. How things have changed. And yet they stay the same; now I'm wondering if we ought to try for a sibling for Petite. Do we dare?! Eeek. Time will tell.
  

Scattered much? You bet. That's life at the moment I'm afraid. I hope you and yours have a wonderful weekend. Signing off for now.